LauraS

I went to an AA meeting last night and picked up my 30 day chip. I only knew one other person there; this meeting was not my home group as they only give out chips once a month.

This time around I have not gone to very many meetings. I feel like my stops-start-stop-start-stop-start over the last twelve months is a bit of an embarrassment. When I do go to meetings in my home group, I just sort of slink in and slink out. There's another meeting nearby, also, which I have gone to once or twice. I don't know anyone there either, so it's easy to slink in and out there, too.

I listen to the shares, I relate to some of it, it reminds me that I have much to be grateful for in sobriety, but I don't feel compelled to go to a bunch of meetings like I did early last year. I feel like the people in the groups who I did get to know have lost faith in me, and that it's up to me alone to decide if I'm really going to walk this path or not.

I know that's not how I'm supposed to feel about it, but that's how it feels for me right now.

Zencat

Although I'm admittedly not much of an AA person...I do practice an addiction treatment program to get and maintain better health. I do this regardless of how other people may or may not feel about me. I have been severely embarrassed with my alcoholism more than once. I will not be embarrassed because of my treatment efforts. I can't afford to...there is too much at stake.

CarolD

Hmm.....
I was in AA 5 years before I earned a 1 year medallion.

Chips were not given in my home group ...but you were asked
to raise your hand if you were in your first 30 days.
I can relate to being embarrassed Laura....

I did keep going back tho and no one made me feel
unwelcomed. I also went to other groups for variety.

For over 20 years I've made it a point to never go
5 days without a meeting. I perfer to attend
3 weekly for my emotional balance.

Glad to know you are moving forward.....

yeahgr8

My stance on chips is that i dont need one to tell me i am sober, that said i know at the year marks i will probably take one, go red, and be kicking the ground muttering stop looking at me whilst i do lol

LauraS

Thanks for the encouragement. I still don't know exactly how I feel about this; I'm becoming fairly content only going to a meeting here and there as a reminder of where I'm headed if I don't stay sober. I'm not drinking, which is the main thing.