Filling Time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Abroad
Posts: 49
Filling Time
This seems to be the biggest problem for me. This weekend I am free and do not have work to go to tomorrow which inevitably has led to my mind drifting to the pub next door, the shop a minute away. Only been sober two weeks, December was bad as it always seems to be. It would be very easy to while away the afternoon chatting on the internet and polish off three bottles of wine. Tomorrow would arrive and I'd think what a waste (before then spending an hour panicky about who I'd said what to and searching net histories, email logs, facebook inbox etc).
How can we fill time we used to spend drinking? I remember seeing a list of things to do here but I looked down it and all I could find was reasons why I wouldn't enjoy them. I'm also looking at some of the hobbies I used to do when I was drinking and friends I hung around with and start to realise that I only did those because they validated my drinking and so did the friends.
It feels not only am I fighting the alcohol but having to create a whole new life at the same time to fill in the 30-40hours a week I spent drinking. I might as well go spend it feeding the ducks!
How can we fill time we used to spend drinking? I remember seeing a list of things to do here but I looked down it and all I could find was reasons why I wouldn't enjoy them. I'm also looking at some of the hobbies I used to do when I was drinking and friends I hung around with and start to realise that I only did those because they validated my drinking and so did the friends.
It feels not only am I fighting the alcohol but having to create a whole new life at the same time to fill in the 30-40hours a week I spent drinking. I might as well go spend it feeding the ducks!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,945
Nettaja: in Time (As you Stay Sober) You Will Find You Are Surprised Just How Little Time You Have! :-) Believe it or Not! A.A. Service Work is Something i Would Ask About At Your Local Meeting Place!
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Nettaja,
This is why people recommend a programme of recovery to help you live your life sober. Many of us here use the 12 Steps of AA.
I think it is all to do with your perception of the time you have. Remember that this disease of alcoholism is "cunning, baffling and powerful" and it will do everything in its power to convince you that it is a good idea to start drinking.
Why not go and feed the ducks? Seriously, there is a lot to be said for taking some quiet time and surrounding yourself with Nature. This is how I first found a Power greater than myself.......by actually looking at the natural world around me. I had never seen it before. It's fascinating when you see it through new eyes.
take care.
This is why people recommend a programme of recovery to help you live your life sober. Many of us here use the 12 Steps of AA.
I think it is all to do with your perception of the time you have. Remember that this disease of alcoholism is "cunning, baffling and powerful" and it will do everything in its power to convince you that it is a good idea to start drinking.
Why not go and feed the ducks? Seriously, there is a lot to be said for taking some quiet time and surrounding yourself with Nature. This is how I first found a Power greater than myself.......by actually looking at the natural world around me. I had never seen it before. It's fascinating when you see it through new eyes.
take care.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I guess this depends if you are abstaining or recovering, the former i was exactly the same didn't know what to do with my self, the latter i don't have any time to worry about...went to AA, worked the steps and changed...
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Like intention, I went for many walks. Although it was in July and much nicer outside! My sponsor and sister sponsees helped out quite a bit with keeping me productive in the early days.
I wasn't taking care of myself. Only showering once a week (if that). I was a true mess. It was me and my couch. She gave me what I needed, although it wouldn't be for everyone that's for sure. I was told to take a bath. I had to tell her what I ate that day. What I was going to do in the afternoon and then call to make sure I did what I said. I was living life with a set of training wheels.
I was very, very, sick. I needed to be told when to wipe my ass. Because I had all this free time and was totally overwhelmed by it. So I did nothing. My sponsor was more extreme with me because it's what I needed.
Sorry, I got off topic! A sponsor who's not only been through it all and has had experience going through it all with sponsees. Would be a place to start. I have a friend who it was suggested recently to go to the art hobby store and buy project "stuff". We had a blast picking out candle making kits, glass etching kits, stained glass kits, and even huge hideous paint by numbers. ;-)
I wasn't taking care of myself. Only showering once a week (if that). I was a true mess. It was me and my couch. She gave me what I needed, although it wouldn't be for everyone that's for sure. I was told to take a bath. I had to tell her what I ate that day. What I was going to do in the afternoon and then call to make sure I did what I said. I was living life with a set of training wheels.
I was very, very, sick. I needed to be told when to wipe my ass. Because I had all this free time and was totally overwhelmed by it. So I did nothing. My sponsor was more extreme with me because it's what I needed.
Sorry, I got off topic! A sponsor who's not only been through it all and has had experience going through it all with sponsees. Would be a place to start. I have a friend who it was suggested recently to go to the art hobby store and buy project "stuff". We had a blast picking out candle making kits, glass etching kits, stained glass kits, and even huge hideous paint by numbers. ;-)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I won't re-post that list of 150 things to do for you
as you have already rejected all them.
For me to enjoy being sober....I needed a new set
of non drinking friends. Not only did I find them
in AA meetings.....we did all sorts of things outside
of the meeting. Concerts ...plays...movies...eating out...hikes
sporting events...dances....card playing...it was time for play!
We had a blast and we stayed sober together.
Hope you too will soon find the real joy of living sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Abroad
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by intention 
Hi Nettaja,
This is why people recommend a programme of recovery to help you live your life sober. Many of us here use the 12 Steps of AA.
I think it is all to do with your perception of the time you have. Remember that this disease of alcoholism is "cunning, baffling and powerful" and it will do everything in its power to convince you that it is a good idea to start drinking.
Why not go and feed the ducks? Seriously, there is a lot to be said for taking some quiet time and surrounding yourself with Nature. This is how I first found a Power greater than myself.......by actually looking at the natural world around me. I had never seen it before. It's fascinating when you see it through new eyes.
take care.
This is why people recommend a programme of recovery to help you live your life sober. Many of us here use the 12 Steps of AA.
I think it is all to do with your perception of the time you have. Remember that this disease of alcoholism is "cunning, baffling and powerful" and it will do everything in its power to convince you that it is a good idea to start drinking.
Why not go and feed the ducks? Seriously, there is a lot to be said for taking some quiet time and surrounding yourself with Nature. This is how I first found a Power greater than myself.......by actually looking at the natural world around me. I had never seen it before. It's fascinating when you see it through new eyes.
take care.
Something I'll do again! I'll take more bread next time so the swans get full and the ducks can have a feed too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland
Posts: 126
why do i get so annoyed when ppl, dont for some unknown reason wish to even diverse
there country of origin!!!, but you can bet they wish to know everything of other ppls
nationality... like no ones ever gonna know who you are out of 66million in the uk!!!
its nice to know at least which country your from!.
there country of origin!!!, but you can bet they wish to know everything of other ppls
nationality... like no ones ever gonna know who you are out of 66million in the uk!!!
its nice to know at least which country your from!.
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by Nettaja
I did go and feed the ducks, I've got to admit..the swans took most of it though Something I'll do again! I'll take more bread next time so the swans get full and the ducks can have a feed too.
Something I'll do again! I'll take more bread next time so the swans get full and the ducks can have a feed too. Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by dasha
why do i get so annoyed when ppl, dont for some unknown reason wish to even diverse
there country of origin!!!, but you can bet they wish to know everything of other ppls
nationality... like no ones ever gonna know who you are out of 66million in the uk!!!
its nice to know at least which country your from!.
there country of origin!!!, but you can bet they wish to know everything of other ppls
nationality... like no ones ever gonna know who you are out of 66million in the uk!!!
its nice to know at least which country your from!.
Anonymity is very important in our recovery. We share so much about ourselves, it could be easy for people to put the pieces together if we give too much away such as location. People need to feel safe to share.
I hope you don't mind me saying but I have read all your posts over the last few days and you seem really annoyed all the time. I do understand. This disease makes us angry and resentful.
I hope you are able to find a way to live sober which makes you happy. I know you are not keen on the idea of AA but working the 12 steps means you can live life free of all the anger, resentment, hurt etc......despite what difficulties are actually going on in your life.
I hope you find your way to some peace.
take care
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 248
I guess it's a personal choice. I do find it somewhat interesting and comforting in way when I see people on here in or close to my home state. I think unless you shared too much, like place of employment, kids names or various other things it would be pretty hard to find out who's who.
Around my parts the weather is always interesting to share with other midwesterners!! And we can sometimes talk about something else along with recovery talk!
Around my parts the weather is always interesting to share with other midwesterners!! And we can sometimes talk about something else along with recovery talk!
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by dasha
Intention, to know at least which country of ppl, your speaking with makes for a little
more trust and uderstanding!!! or am i being unreasonable here
more trust and uderstanding!!! or am i being unreasonable here
I'm in Essex, now what does that say about this Essex girl? :rotfxko
Perhaps people who don't give away their general location will do it when they feel more comfortable posting here. It takes a lot of courage for some to post here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland
Posts: 126
OK,I Get the jist but pls dont tell everyone am from liverpool, or else they,ll be lockin
there usernames and e,mail adresses
,nownow Calm Down!!!!! sense of
humour goes along way amongst misery? must admit have quite a black one, unless it
involves children, earthquakes, famine,and one or 2 other things, i,e personal misfortune
i rib the pee out of,
there usernames and e,mail adresses
,nownow Calm Down!!!!! sense ofhumour goes along way amongst misery? must admit have quite a black one, unless it
involves children, earthquakes, famine,and one or 2 other things, i,e personal misfortune
i rib the pee out of,
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Calm down!! Calm dow!!!....I won't mention you are from Liverpool again. 
There's nothing wrong with a sense of humour. Us alcoholics must not take ourselves too seriously. Have a good sober Sunday
There's nothing wrong with a sense of humour. Us alcoholics must not take ourselves too seriously. Have a good sober Sunday
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland
Posts: 126
Yes thanks Intention, i must admit i cracked last night!!! aaaarrrhh, hence the jibber
this is far from easy, and i so admire all of your resiliance,needin to get back on track,
thanks again an apologys jibbbbbbeeeeerrriiish! goes wit the territory,
will get on it!!, have a nice day y,all.
this is far from easy, and i so admire all of your resiliance,needin to get back on track,
thanks again an apologys jibbbbbbeeeeerrriiish! goes wit the territory,
will get on it!!, have a nice day y,all.
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
If you fill your time with doing whatever it takes to live a new way of life, being of service to others, and enjoying the journey...you'll find less time to be obsessed with idle time or toughts.
Welcome to another day of staying sober & to many possibilities of recovery!!
Welcome to another day of staying sober & to many possibilities of recovery!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: England
Posts: 21
I'm reading your post on the Tuesday after the weekend you were dreading...you fed the swans and the ducks barely got a crumb in! Rewind a few weeks earlier, no swans or ducks were fed by you because you were drunk in front of the computer and couldn't have cared less about and birds on a river. Something good happend for you and for them...more of this will come your way now you are a Non-drinker. It's difficult in the days of trying to fill to come up with ideas to fill, but the longer you are clear, you won't even have to try to think of them, they just pop in your head and you do them - in my case I put this down to 'Living - doing, liking & living'. Summoning up the energy to get off my ar*e could sometimes be overwhelming, a hurdle, but that too was in the early days of my stopping. Now I can't wait for each day to arrive and experience what it or I might bring to it.
I still spend way too much time on the computer...but without all the checking, guilt, self barrating, shame the next day, purely because I can remember what I say now!! LOL Your post rang real bells with me on that point!! Now I drink countless cups of herbal tea and flavoured water instead of glugging wine and being angry with myself as I watch it get less and less and I know there is no more in the house until I drag my hungover self down to the shop the next day for a top up - God, the freedom! Shopping has helped me, no huge purchases, just cheap but pretty new things for the house, new lick of paint & carpet with all the money I haven't thrown down my neck. New me, new environment - It's a good work out and keeps you occupied in the Nicest of ways! Good Luck, keep busy in small ways, they are the most rewarding and you deserve to reward yourself with something that won't harm you anymore, only fulfill you.
I still spend way too much time on the computer...but without all the checking, guilt, self barrating, shame the next day, purely because I can remember what I say now!! LOL Your post rang real bells with me on that point!! Now I drink countless cups of herbal tea and flavoured water instead of glugging wine and being angry with myself as I watch it get less and less and I know there is no more in the house until I drag my hungover self down to the shop the next day for a top up - God, the freedom! Shopping has helped me, no huge purchases, just cheap but pretty new things for the house, new lick of paint & carpet with all the money I haven't thrown down my neck. New me, new environment - It's a good work out and keeps you occupied in the Nicest of ways! Good Luck, keep busy in small ways, they are the most rewarding and you deserve to reward yourself with something that won't harm you anymore, only fulfill you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 215
I started filling my time up with things like painting. Reading. I also started going to a local dog shelter.
I would offer to help give baths, poop scoop. Whatever they needed.
I ended up liking helping animals the most and started training dogs in my spare time. I ended up getting a reputation for working with the more difficult dogs. Now, I am blessed to be called upon to help a dog before they put it to sleep because it has a 'behavior' issue.
As I got sober, alot of my time got filled up 'for me' by being active in AA. But not everyone goes to AA. So, find out what you don't like and then start trying anything you are not sure if you like. I would find 'free' events. Art festivals, walkathons, anything with a volunteer cause.
We have alot of cancer walks in Florida. There are state parks and lots of frisbee compititions. Just keep putting yourself out in the world doing an activity you haven't done yet and take another sober person with you at first. Hang in there.
I would offer to help give baths, poop scoop. Whatever they needed.
I ended up liking helping animals the most and started training dogs in my spare time. I ended up getting a reputation for working with the more difficult dogs. Now, I am blessed to be called upon to help a dog before they put it to sleep because it has a 'behavior' issue.
As I got sober, alot of my time got filled up 'for me' by being active in AA. But not everyone goes to AA. So, find out what you don't like and then start trying anything you are not sure if you like. I would find 'free' events. Art festivals, walkathons, anything with a volunteer cause.
We have alot of cancer walks in Florida. There are state parks and lots of frisbee compititions. Just keep putting yourself out in the world doing an activity you haven't done yet and take another sober person with you at first. Hang in there.
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