scottydawg

The last time I was on this site was sometime in July. I vowed to give up alcohol and lasted a whole 5 days. Even went to the doctor with my alcoholism. He wrote me a script for lab work to see what damage the last 20 years of drinking has done to my body. Well, needless to say, I have yet to make it to the lab and instead, went home and drank another bottle. I stopped coming to this site because I probably didn't want to hear that I can never drink again.

Last week, I made a new years resolution that I would stop drinking. I drank half a bottle last night and took my last sip at 12:29 am. I poured the rest of the bottle down the drain. I'm not sure what's going to happen or how long I can go but I'm sick of being sick. I'm 5'9 and weigh 125 pounds. I can't say that I want my life back because I never had a life. I know that I feel more relaxed today but I still have some jitters. I can't eat and going to the bathroom constantly.

My doctor gave me librium but I heard a lot of stories such as seizures if you stop taking the meds. So I've decided to do this on my own. If I die, then that's what God wants. At least I have a chance. Continuing on the same path I led, I KNOW that I will die.

Please just pray for me because I never want to go back to that again.

Dee74

I used to think that too Scotty - If I die, then that's what God wants.

I'm still suffering some ill effects/brain damage from my last home detox nearly 3 years ago - they're not life threatening things or even that serious - but they're permanent.

I think now maybe what God really wanted was for me to be responsible and see a Dr.
D

CarolD

Welcome back to SR ...

Please read this link for de tox info

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Please do get back in touch with your doctor
that's the best way to be both safe and sober...

expenguin

Welcome back Scotty..... you can do this.... I have done it and I have 24 years today in AA... If I can make it this far you must have a chance to last it this long and even longer than me.... give it your all and face the fight just like me.... I have faith in you....

One day at a time is all it takes no matter what ....... that is the way I looked at it and never looked back.... keep coming back..

little Penguin