Drk

I'm having trouble with this.

After being a cloistered away drunk for a few years, I'm having difficulties connecting with my old friends on any real level.

And new people I meet don't seem interested in developing a relationship with me.

Anyone else struggling with this?

AADavid

When you sober up in may be good to make new friends. If you were a closet drinker it still may be good to seek out relationships with folks who don't drink.

This is one of the reasons AA is so successful. I have made a point out of making friends with people who are also in recovery!

Dime

Early sobriety is a great time to work on ourselves without distractions that might risk sobriety. Once we become comfortable with ourselves it becomes easier to socialize and make friends.

I also developed a lot a friendships through AA with sober folks also. They have provided great support and encouragement for me.

I would be very careful about old friends. Often they do not understand that we are alcoholic and may encourage us to drink. Best to wait until you are on solid footing.

Gemmie

Yes I am having trouble with this too. But I know I am still way to damn shy!!! Its even hard for me to post on here! lol It is getting better though, I am starting to feel more comfortable around people. I have made a few friends in AA and I am very grateful for them.

I only have one friend left from my drinking days, and he still drinks, I am just very careful being around him. I cannot associate with the others, even though they try at times, just not happening.

Nevertheless

I was having problems with that before I started drinking. I think it has quite a bit to do with why I started. Now 30 years later I'm in the same boat, only I have a hard time hearing which = I have a hard time understanding what someone is saying, which makes it even worse.
Thats OK because when I was drinking it was like I was in prison, which is probably where I was gonna wind up.
I thought about putting my name up on the AA board. (I have a truck, and could help people move) (I could get real popular that way) (Barb, if your looking in, Montana is too far away<G>), but I havn't done that yet.
Right now I'm still not sure whats going on. Being sober really is so different from letting alcohol run my life. Ive been sober 9 months now and I still don't know how to act. My old friends think I'm mad at them. Even though they are all alcoholics they don't get it. I didn't either when I was still drinking. I didn't realize how dazed and confused I was till I sobered up.
But my worst day sober can't be compared to my best day drinking. I feel free.
Fred

tyler

That's a bit of a problem for me right now too. I've always been a bit of a loner, even as a child, but since I quit using, I'm pretty much of a hermit. I still stay with my folks for now, so there is other human contact. My job is in sales so there is a great deal of contact with the "outside" world there, but I've yet to let anyone really get to know me.

For me personally this goes beyond the drugs. I was a closet addict for pretty much my whole time using. Most of the people I had contact with really didn't know. I always held a steady job, showed up on time, was reasonably successful, but was stoned out of my gourd all of the time. When I bring it up with people I knew before I got clean most of them are shocked. The only person I ever really allowed to get close to me is my wife (now-ex), and though we are still close, it is obviously not the same. I have some issues from my childhood I am trying to work through with a theripist that hopefully will allow me to trust and open up a little more, but for now, I'm alone, but not really lonely. For me, I am right where I need to be. Take care

CarolD

Fred....
You sure would be a hit around here.
A willing driver and a pick up....Wow!

Last fall...we had a woman member ..who had to leave her
DV situation abruptly. 8 pick ups-16 members ... Viola
out and safe in another members empty apartment.

The hand of AA sometimes is grimey.....