KeepPedaling

Has anyone ever "faked" recovery just during probation, started drinking again after probation was over, only to really hit bottom and then tackle recovery for real? Just curious...

barb dwyer

It's not unheard of...

I've seen ... TONS of people
come into AA
and only go until their court date.

Then they go to court
and never come back.

As an alcoholic in AA
I have to be very very careful
to remain focused in MY alcoholism
and MY recovery.

When I try to look
beyond the end of my OWN nose

is when I will mess up.


But -
yes, I even knew of
people to get out of the state run
detox center
and their first stop
was the bar.

AADavid

I am sure that happens all the time. Unfortunately.

Sikkisirus

Yes its probably very common.

endzoner

thats why it is said that recovery has to be YOUR choice . not another because so often it fails when its not thu your own choice to do so .

CarolD

I read your thread ..... Ship Jumpers Swimming To Shore
in Friends & Family of A's.

When you are asking about your ex-bf and probation
I'm confused. Faked sobriety how?

Do you mean the boundaries you set or court ordered probation?
Did he actually have a strutured recovery method?
Is he doing one at this time?

Anyway... Yes
Many alcoholics return to drinking after initially quitting.
Some stop again.....some do not.

Are you attending Al anon?
To quote you....Keep swimming.....

Nevertheless

I was court ordered to AA about 20 years ago. I new I was alcoholic, and did actually want to stick with it.
But i didn't want it bad enough. I was also court ordered to an alcohol drug program where they watched me take antabuse. It was about 3 months after that was over I started drinking again.
I saw a lot of court ordered people then and I see a lot now. I can only think of one that still comes to AA voluntarily.
But actually maybe I count. It took me about 20 years to go back. But I don't know if I would have just walked back in if I didn't remember what it was like there.
So although most walk out the first time,I believe the odds of someone going back are much higher.
Fred

KeepPedaling

Thanks Fred.

KeepPedaling

Hi Carol. I was talking about court ordered probation. I was dating my x for about 6 months, but I first met him about 20 years ago. I never knew him as an alcoholic. I knew him when we were young. I moved away. While I was away is when he did his drinking. When I moved back about 15 years later, he was sober and he sounded so confident about his sobriety. Because of this, I was very surprised by his relapse. He started drinking the DAY his probation was up. He said it was because he and I were in a fight and he was doing poorly in one of his classes. I just thought it was odd that it was day of his probation ending.

I don't think I really set any boundaries with him. I just can't date a drinker. I told him that and he chose beer. That's that, right? At first I thought it was just a "slip" like he kept claiming. But then I realized he was drinking all the time and lying to me about it.

At this point, I'm just very concerned about my old friend. He's really a wonderful person with so much talent. I can't really ask him what's going on because I can't talk to him (I chose no contact for my own emotional health) and even if I could, I doubt I would get the truth from him. Not right now anyway.

I'm curious if all his talk about hitting bottom and going to AA was really not necessarily true. Maybe he hasn't hit bottom yet. Maybe he was just sober to avoid jail. Or maybe he did hit bottom and now he needs to hit it again? Maybe he thought he was safe because he was sober for almost 2 years. Maybe he just thought he could have a few and snap back. Maybe he just has to go down that road again.

Thanks for you replies. I really appreciate the insight.

KeepPedaling

Carol, sorry, I didn't answer your question. By "fake" sobriety, I mean when someone goes around telling everyone he/she is committed to recovery, but really what he/she means is committed to recovery to stay out of jail and as soon as probation is over, so is the commitment to recovery.

No, I'm not going to Al Anon at this time, but I am seeing a counselor and I spend a lot of time in the mountains snowshoeing my emotional troubles away. I'll be fine. I'm always ok. I think one of the benefits of being raised by an alcoholic is, if it doesn't break you, it makes you stronger than the average bear.

CarolD

Thanks for clarifying.....
For me...trust is the base for friendship.

Good to know you are moving forward in your life..