Am I closer to sane or losing it altogether?
DOS: 11/6/10
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Florida Panhandle, USA
Posts: 736
Am I closer to sane or losing it altogether?
DH and I have been talking about our terrible financial situation... and the fact that both our parents have assisted us previously, although lately it's mostly his mom. More talk along those lines made me aware of just how much in the dark I keep my father and family about what's really going on with me... how I'm doing... everything. It's like I am trying to be the perfect #1 daughter. And in doing so, I'm an idiot. My mother died without knowing so much about me... and my father? He will be disappointed about some things but I hope he will respect the courage I am mustering to do this.
I guess I should add that DH had this discussion last night coming home from a gig. And I visited my therapist this morning at 11... both said I really should come clean about some things and although it may upset my father to hear that I have been irresponsible and not who he thought I was, it is morally right and fair.
I guess I should also mention that I live near Virginia Beach- - and here I am 9 hours later staying with a friend near where my father lives in the Akron/Cleveland area. The drive was awesome... I love to drive first off, and also I know the roads and between the phone (and my hands-free device) and XM radio it flew by. Am I crazy? We had the 4 days off anyhow... I thought, if I wait to do this, Hubby will reverse and talk me out of it... I love him SO much but he is not very autonomous so there's a big part of him that never wants me to leave, especially on a longer trip like this one.
So- I'm here to face some demons, humble myself... dare I show the human in here... it's scary. Prayers gratefully accepted in whatever form they come. I am both lighter and confused about my life circumstances and I pray that doing the right thing will give me, and us, some direction.
Side note: Erstwhile sponsor reminded me that the house where Bill W and Bob met is in Akron... If Dad is busy tomorrow or Wed during the day, I am going there.
Peace, Y'all.
I guess I should add that DH had this discussion last night coming home from a gig. And I visited my therapist this morning at 11... both said I really should come clean about some things and although it may upset my father to hear that I have been irresponsible and not who he thought I was, it is morally right and fair.
I guess I should also mention that I live near Virginia Beach- - and here I am 9 hours later staying with a friend near where my father lives in the Akron/Cleveland area. The drive was awesome... I love to drive first off, and also I know the roads and between the phone (and my hands-free device) and XM radio it flew by. Am I crazy? We had the 4 days off anyhow... I thought, if I wait to do this, Hubby will reverse and talk me out of it... I love him SO much but he is not very autonomous so there's a big part of him that never wants me to leave, especially on a longer trip like this one.
So- I'm here to face some demons, humble myself... dare I show the human in here... it's scary. Prayers gratefully accepted in whatever form they come. I am both lighter and confused about my life circumstances and I pray that doing the right thing will give me, and us, some direction.
Side note: Erstwhile sponsor reminded me that the house where Bill W and Bob met is in Akron... If Dad is busy tomorrow or Wed during the day, I am going there.
Peace, Y'all.
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