The spiritual malady !!
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: london, england
Posts: 184
The spiritual malady !!
If your new please take a moment out to read this.
I am constantly seing and hearing newcomers say "i have stopped, so why do i feel so bad, I go to meetings and it dont seem to be working for me".
AA meetings is NOT the program of alcoholic anonymous, (they are part of it). The program is in the book and the 12 steps. if your an alcoholic (and you can quickly diagnose yourself).
"if when you honestly want to, you find you can not quit entirely, or if when drinking you have little or no control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. if that be the case you maybe suffering from an illness that only a spiritual experience will conquer". big book p44
is this you ?
if it is, the spiritual illness that you suffer from wont just go away because you are attending meetings. let me say this, just because the bloke or woman you know (just goes to meetings and there alright) do that, does not mean you will be.
Look, let me be brave here, just because i sit in a room and say i am an alcoholic doesnt make me one, BEWARE OF HEAVY DRINKERS !! they can look like us, sound like us and even drink like us, but thier not one of us. when they stop, they can stay stopped without much problems. if i stop (without a program of action) over any given time i will always get worse never better. WHY? because i have alcoholism and when the drinks gone its still there.
what does that feel like ?
i am always bored, the grass is always greener over there. and i want what you have, (even if what i have is better than what you have). the book calls it "irritable, restless and discontent". doctors opinion bb, pxx1v.
unless i work a 12 step program of action (sponsor, steps, service, suggestions) i will not treat the malady(illness) and sooner rather than later i will go insane and i will drink again.
thats been my experience over the past 12 years.
stopping has never been my problem (once i stopped three times in one day), staying stopped has been my problem.
today, i treat the malady (illness), and i have a wonderful fantastic life that i never thought possible. There is a quote in another big book (bible) that goes "you will know a peace that passeth all understanding" and thats what i have, a peace inside me that only another alcoholic who has had that feeling
of untreated alcoholism would understand.
peace and fellowship to you all, may your god keep you safe.
Quotes:Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st. Edition
I am constantly seing and hearing newcomers say "i have stopped, so why do i feel so bad, I go to meetings and it dont seem to be working for me".
AA meetings is NOT the program of alcoholic anonymous, (they are part of it). The program is in the book and the 12 steps. if your an alcoholic (and you can quickly diagnose yourself).
"if when you honestly want to, you find you can not quit entirely, or if when drinking you have little or no control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. if that be the case you maybe suffering from an illness that only a spiritual experience will conquer". big book p44
is this you ?
if it is, the spiritual illness that you suffer from wont just go away because you are attending meetings. let me say this, just because the bloke or woman you know (just goes to meetings and there alright) do that, does not mean you will be.
Look, let me be brave here, just because i sit in a room and say i am an alcoholic doesnt make me one, BEWARE OF HEAVY DRINKERS !! they can look like us, sound like us and even drink like us, but thier not one of us. when they stop, they can stay stopped without much problems. if i stop (without a program of action) over any given time i will always get worse never better. WHY? because i have alcoholism and when the drinks gone its still there.
what does that feel like ?
i am always bored, the grass is always greener over there. and i want what you have, (even if what i have is better than what you have). the book calls it "irritable, restless and discontent". doctors opinion bb, pxx1v.
unless i work a 12 step program of action (sponsor, steps, service, suggestions) i will not treat the malady(illness) and sooner rather than later i will go insane and i will drink again.
thats been my experience over the past 12 years.
stopping has never been my problem (once i stopped three times in one day), staying stopped has been my problem.
today, i treat the malady (illness), and i have a wonderful fantastic life that i never thought possible. There is a quote in another big book (bible) that goes "you will know a peace that passeth all understanding" and thats what i have, a peace inside me that only another alcoholic who has had that feeling
of untreated alcoholism would understand.
peace and fellowship to you all, may your god keep you safe.
Quotes:Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st. Edition
Last edited by CarolD; 09-21-2009 at 09:02 AM. Reason: Added Source per SR guideline
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Nice post tricky... nice to see you here...
Part of my first step experience was how, when I quit drinking, I got worse.... It was not until a meaningful 2nd and 3rd step that I started to feel better... and it keeps getting better...
Mark
Part of my first step experience was how, when I quit drinking, I got worse.... It was not until a meaningful 2nd and 3rd step that I started to feel better... and it keeps getting better...
Mark
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 37
I agree 100%, great post I really needed that today, I stop drinking and my problems start man, it's all these problems I was running away from, and with more drinking more problems came about, but I believe I had alcoholic problems before I touched a drink, may sound strange but I believe that.
thanks again,
spicedt.
thanks again,
spicedt.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Great post!
Just want to add (my experience):
Additional diagnosis: Listen to the experiences of alcoholics in AA. The stories may be somewhat different but there is a commonality:
-Willpower did not work (swearing to never drink again over & over yet drinking again with the same or worse results).
-Failed attempts to moderate (I managed to moderate for over a year but the eventual results were predictable).
-Mental anguish after each bender or between benders (depression, anxiety, hopelessness, self-hatred).
I recently listened to 12 AA members share their experience & I could identify with ALL of them. No room for doubt, I am one of them.
Spirituality: Does not mean you have to "find religion". The program allows for many different spiritual beliefs/approaches. For me, many days it's enough to simply try to live by spiritual principles.
Just want to add (my experience):
Additional diagnosis: Listen to the experiences of alcoholics in AA. The stories may be somewhat different but there is a commonality:
-Willpower did not work (swearing to never drink again over & over yet drinking again with the same or worse results).
-Failed attempts to moderate (I managed to moderate for over a year but the eventual results were predictable).
-Mental anguish after each bender or between benders (depression, anxiety, hopelessness, self-hatred).
I recently listened to 12 AA members share their experience & I could identify with ALL of them. No room for doubt, I am one of them.
Spirituality: Does not mean you have to "find religion". The program allows for many different spiritual beliefs/approaches. For me, many days it's enough to simply try to live by spiritual principles.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: rochester ny
Posts: 164
beautiful maladies
yes, the physical 'allergy', the mental obsession were rather easy for me to grasp when I got to AA. I could intellectualize them, spout them back and forth, tell you when you had them, give you my experiences with them, etc. The spiritual malady is much harder to pin down, because its the one that keeps me so full of fear I wont talk to anyone or pick up the phone. So full of pride I wont ask for help when I really really need it. The spiritual malady says "I still feel like poop after 'trying' AA...it must be AA's fault, AA sucks, I'll do this by myself".
About heavy drinkers. They also sometimes work the steps and sponsor people. Then they sometimes find real alcoholics and try to sponsor them. Disasterous. Make sure your sponsor fits the criteria in the book book for alcoholism. Dont be afraid to make him/her qualify. A heavy drinker will not know how to deal with all the BS. Nor will a dry drunk who hasnt worked a solid program. Ahhh the pitfalls of the twelve step world...
About heavy drinkers. They also sometimes work the steps and sponsor people. Then they sometimes find real alcoholics and try to sponsor them. Disasterous. Make sure your sponsor fits the criteria in the book book for alcoholism. Dont be afraid to make him/her qualify. A heavy drinker will not know how to deal with all the BS. Nor will a dry drunk who hasnt worked a solid program. Ahhh the pitfalls of the twelve step world...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Southern Colorado
Posts: 1,167
Originally Posted by tricky164 
... and thats what i have, a peace inside me that only another alcoholic who has had that feeling
of untreated alcoholism would understand.
peace and fellowship to you all, may your god keep you safe.
Quotes:Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st. Edition
of untreated alcoholism would understand.
peace and fellowship to you all, may your god keep you safe.
Quotes:Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st. Edition
Some people have attained wisdom and the spiritual life without having to put in years and years of puking, p!$$ing, fighting, whinning, etc. They just do the next right thing. We are doing the next right thing and we want a Bronze Statue put up in our honor.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: london, england
Posts: 184
i would never think that we corner the market on spirituality,
just trying to get across what it like to suffer with untreated alcoholism and what is like to have it treated.
i have been walking around with a hole in me for 30 yrs trying to treat it with drink and drugs, the whole i had was not drink and drug shaped, woman shaped, car shaped, money shaped, boat shaped.
it is program shaped.
i was only speaking in the context of AA.
mcgowdog, your E,S&H is always welcome as is everyones.
peace and fellowship to you. god bless
just trying to get across what it like to suffer with untreated alcoholism and what is like to have it treated.
i have been walking around with a hole in me for 30 yrs trying to treat it with drink and drugs, the whole i had was not drink and drug shaped, woman shaped, car shaped, money shaped, boat shaped.
it is program shaped.
i was only speaking in the context of AA.
mcgowdog, your E,S&H is always welcome as is everyones.
peace and fellowship to you. god bless
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: london, england
Posts: 184
i would never think that we corner the market on spirituality,
just trying to get across what it like to suffer with untreated alcoholism and what is like to have it treated.
i have been walking around with a hole in me for 30 yrs trying to treat it with drink and drugs, the whole i had was not drink and drug shaped, woman shaped, car shaped, money shaped, boat shaped.
it is program shaped.
i was only speaking in the context of AA.
mcgowdog, your E,S&H is always welcome as is everyones.
peace and fellowship to you. god bless
just trying to get across what it like to suffer with untreated alcoholism and what is like to have it treated.
i have been walking around with a hole in me for 30 yrs trying to treat it with drink and drugs, the whole i had was not drink and drug shaped, woman shaped, car shaped, money shaped, boat shaped.
it is program shaped.
i was only speaking in the context of AA.
mcgowdog, your E,S&H is always welcome as is everyones.
peace and fellowship to you. god bless
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