Shame and lying
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 74
Shame and lying
Ive been good at it. Alcoholism has taken my shame away. And lying. I hide my drinking and my shame. My lying is a good cover story.
I would like to know others cover stories and shame. I have put up elaborate cover stories. Hiding bottles of beer. Lying to significant others..
I would like to know others cover stories and shame. I have put up elaborate cover stories. Hiding bottles of beer. Lying to significant others..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 652
l could hide it for 30 years..
Untill one fine day l found myself in the back of the neighbor's car who was bringing me to detox.
Wasn't much use in hiding and lying anymore.
Actually, it was a relief..
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
- George Burns
Untill one fine day l found myself in the back of the neighbor's car who was bringing me to detox.
Wasn't much use in hiding and lying anymore.
Actually, it was a relief..
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
- George Burns
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmm...
I've often heard this in AA meetings
"Put as much effort into your recovery
as you did to destroying yourself....
then your life will fall into place."
Are you now keeping your home an alcohol free zone?.
That's a good way to begin living positively.
So is healthy eating getting a hair cut...walking/jogging/gym.
Action...my recovery requires action...
I know I did not respond to your topic the way you
expected. I did reply to what simple things I found
helpful in my early sobriety.
Hope my share will benefit you.....
I've often heard this in AA meetings
"Put as much effort into your recovery
as you did to destroying yourself....
then your life will fall into place."
Are you now keeping your home an alcohol free zone?.
That's a good way to begin living positively.
So is healthy eating getting a hair cut...walking/jogging/gym.
Action...my recovery requires action...
I know I did not respond to your topic the way you
expected. I did reply to what simple things I found
helpful in my early sobriety.
Hope my share will benefit you.....
Last edited by CarolD; 08-30-2009 at 11:01 AM.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Just a suggestion...
Especially, in early recovery it may be best to take it easy on yourself & focus on the good you are doing.
Negative, deep thinking about shame & lying may not be helpful right now but something you can deal with in the future.
One day at a time, moving forward into a new life.
Especially, in early recovery it may be best to take it easy on yourself & focus on the good you are doing.
Negative, deep thinking about shame & lying may not be helpful right now but something you can deal with in the future.
One day at a time, moving forward into a new life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Norfolk, MA
Posts: 792
There is a time and place in the steps to address your shame. Thankfully, it's not the first step or I doubt many people would go on to the second...
Dwelling in the past will keep you there, and at this point you are not ready to work on the issues that bother you the most. What you can and should work on is clearing your head. Make positive steps to not repeat the negative thinking. You would be surprised. With a clear and positive mindset, issues can be addressed and dealt with and put away ~forever~ not just until they arise again... In time, you will notice that they don't arise again and life is easier to live without the constant deceptions.
I wish you strength on your journey. You won't regret it. It will free you in ways you haven't felt in many years, if ever.
Dwelling in the past will keep you there, and at this point you are not ready to work on the issues that bother you the most. What you can and should work on is clearing your head. Make positive steps to not repeat the negative thinking. You would be surprised. With a clear and positive mindset, issues can be addressed and dealt with and put away ~forever~ not just until they arise again... In time, you will notice that they don't arise again and life is easier to live without the constant deceptions.
I wish you strength on your journey. You won't regret it. It will free you in ways you haven't felt in many years, if ever.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 5
Hi, I agree with Ajax's post above. I think you may need to put some sober time together, focusing on the positiveness of the act of staying clean. Then after your brain and emotions have had some time to stabilize without this corrosive chemical in your body, you can then clean house and come to terms with the past and move on.
KCB.com/justfortoday :-)
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 168
The only way to get rid of the shame and the lying is to tell the truth and not just for other peoples sake - but get honest with yourself.
I've had to admit to a lot of difficult stuff in sobriety and with that came freedom from bondage - from the past and from the lies my head would tell me that I was worthless.
It's not going to be easy - but it will be worth it.
Take care of yourself xx
I've had to admit to a lot of difficult stuff in sobriety and with that came freedom from bondage - from the past and from the lies my head would tell me that I was worthless.
It's not going to be easy - but it will be worth it.
Take care of yourself xx
Custom User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SC
Posts: 21
I for one, lied constantly to my significant other. Telling someone who loved me more than anyone, that I just didn't want to talk, or would just totally ignore her. Just so I could be using somewhere without her knowing. Of course, those couple lines don't even begin to touch the awful ways I acted and treated her. And she still loved me despite this for around 5 years. It's a sad, shameful way to live.
And of course, she eventually wised up. I didn't have my support system anymore and I was devastated. You begin to see what you lose. Slowly, but surely. The tab starts adding up. I lost someone who loved me more than anything because getting high was all important. Relationships are confusing, infinitely more so when alcohol is constantly blurring your vision. I couldn't begin to tell the whole story, and maybe it wasn't right anyway, but alcohol only prevented us from finding a common truth. And now I'll never know what could've been.
I'm still early in recovery as well. How long should you wait before delving into that stuff deeper? I guess maybe its something you have to figure out for yourself.
And of course, she eventually wised up. I didn't have my support system anymore and I was devastated. You begin to see what you lose. Slowly, but surely. The tab starts adding up. I lost someone who loved me more than anything because getting high was all important. Relationships are confusing, infinitely more so when alcohol is constantly blurring your vision. I couldn't begin to tell the whole story, and maybe it wasn't right anyway, but alcohol only prevented us from finding a common truth. And now I'll never know what could've been.
I'm still early in recovery as well. How long should you wait before delving into that stuff deeper? I guess maybe its something you have to figure out for yourself.
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
I told myself, year upon year that I was: a adventurer, a hippy, a bohemian, a free spirit, traveling, etc...... But I was really running away from from myself and people and people is what I needed to tell or show me how I was lying.
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