starfieldroad

i have been sober for almost a year-- i am dual diagnosed & dual recovering. i've been taking psychiatric medication under the care of a doctor for about 19 months-- i have a serious brain disorder (outside issue) that needed an atypical antipsychotic to be manegable. i'm not sure if this is kosher to be discussing in this forum, but i really need help and support from the 12-step community. my meds have intense side effects that make me feel drugged, even to the point where my friend from the program told me that i looked loaded. sometimes when i take my meds, my brain goes "yeah we're taking drugs, right on this is what we do" and i just ignore it and try to trust my doctor. i am between psychiatrists right now as well. for some reason this didn't come up as an issue until the other night, when i started getting really scared and paniking about the issue. this freaks me out so much-- i talked to my sponsor and she said that there is a small possibility that somewhere in the future i might want to consider changing my sobriety date. this year has been by far the hardest year of my life, and i don't know that i could deal with having to start all over again. i used to abuse/share my medication a bit before i got sober, but now i am careful to always take them as directed and to be responsible with them. i don't take them to get high... so why do i feel so guilty? and if i have to start all over, why not just get loaded? i don't want to drink and i'm afraid that if i go out i won't get to come back in, but right now i feel like i have no choice. i really need some experience, strength and hope about this, so if anyone has gone through something similar or has something that would be helpful, i'd appreciate it.

thanks.

Dee74

Hi Starfieldroad

I'm not in AA, but for me there are two kinds of drugs - the ones I used to do before I got into recovery...and the kinds I take now, prescribed to me by a competent physician, and which I take as directed.

If you're worried at all about the drugs you're taking and their effect on you, see your doctor immediately...or even sooner

As for sobriety dates - do you feel as if you've been compromised? is that where the guilt is coming from? or are you unsure because of what your sponsor has suggested?

I've seen people throw away sober time over things like this.
Yours is the only opinion that counts here - in my opinion.

You do have a choice - you always have a choice - stay true to the path you've kept for nearly a year - don't let foolish thoughts take hold. 'Why not get loaded' is the worst question we can ask ourselves - but you've changed in the past year - you do not have to respond in the same old way.


D

Tosh

I believe your sobriety date is just that, yours, and if you're taking prescribed medicine in accordance with doctor's orders then that won't compromise it; not one iota.

But to be honest, mine doesn't mean much to me; it's just a date! What's really important to me is that I have that monkey off my back, (the obsession with alcohol) and I'm starting to learn how to live the programme.

findingout

Hey starfieldroad,

Why not get loaded?

Because it's the wrong answer to any problem, any dilemma, any question except "What is the quickest, surest way to make things worse?"

I don't see anything in what you shared that would make me reset my sobriety date. If you do not take the medication to get high and you need to take the medication to manage your condition, I am not seeing the connection to your sobriety date. Maybe there is more to the story but I am not willing to speculate between the lines.

If you have questions and concerns about the medication you are taking, talk to your doctor and get them addressed by the person who is qualified to do so. It's part of being responsible for your own recovery.

But don't get loaded and congratulations on your almost a year.

Sikkisirus

I agree with DEE as well. If they're prescribed for a legit reason then I don't see a problem.

Freedom1990

First of all, congratulations on your sober time.

I too am dually diagnosed, and it wasn't a whole lot of fun finding the right medications for me either.

That didn't change my sobriety date. I took my meds as prescribed. Eventually we found what worked for me.

I hope you find a good psychiatrist that can help you with the medications/side effects, and in the meantime you keep doing what you are doing for your sobriety, okay?

:ghug2

tommyk

why not get loaded?

So long as I remember the hell I went through finding the answer to that question I'll have yet another day clean & sober.

Prescription drugs taken as prescribed does not constitute 'using' in my opinion.

If I had a sponsor that even remotely suggested differently I would change sponsors, fast.

Welcome to SR, Starfield, you're in good company here.

Bamboozle

Hello, SFR. If you have concerns please talk to your doctor.

As the others said, taking prescribed meds has nothing to do with your sobriety date.

Your health is between you and your physician.

Mark75

From what I read, I don't think your sponsor thinks you will need to change your sobriety date.... I think he thinks you need to look into it, which you are doing here...

Red Flag!! But, wait, don't react... then you go on to say...

OK... you didn't pop the pill with the intention of copping a buzz... no harm, no foul. However, be rigorously honest with yourself, your motives, etc.... Also... Big red flag... That feeling you got could be a trigger to use your DOC...!!! Seriously... Talk to your physician.

Your sober date is between you and God. Sounds like it shouldn't be changed.

Oh please, you know the answer to that... Did you enter sobriety so you could collect coins with ever increasing time, or to get sober??? Progress, not perfection.

Keep posting!!

Mark

CarolD

What meds I take and why are between my doctors and me.


I don't ask them how to work the AA program
nor do I ask AA members their opinion on my medications.

Well done on your sober time....Congratulations!

keithj

The best support I can offer is to forget about sobriety dates, forget about other medical issues (follow your doctor's advice), forget about the just f*ck it rationalization and ask yourself one question. What step are you on?

I've seen guys (women too) with some pretty serious mental illness recover and stay sober. Their mental illness or other problems don't go away, but through recovery they are in a position to manage them much more effectively. My buddy J. has been sober 23 years and he's crazy as a loon when his meds get a little off. But, he knows where to go for help with that, and he's got the self awareness from recovery to recognize a problem that needs attention.