Katie09

I am trying to avoid the temptation of just getting plowed, but the thought has crossed my mind.

Basically, the ONE person I've trusted where I live completely stood me up today - no cancellation phone call - nothing. Now, I know he's not in a car accident or in the hospital - so there are no excuses other than the "usual ones." Being very rude and/or married is not beyond the scope of these excuses. IOW, I cannot trust him. At any rate, very disappointed and sad. My usual MO is just to drink a bunch, but am trying to avoid that.

Anyone else had to deal with something like this? Thanks in advance.

smacked

I used a lot of excuses to keep drinking..

I had to find new ways to cope with emotional garbage.. even if the new way was simply not to drink, and go ahead and actually feel the emotion. Some of it's good to feel and work through.

There's going to be a lot worse things in life than this Katie, and the more of these little hiccups that you put behind you, staying sober.. the easier the real hard stuff will probably be to get through.

Katie09

Thanks, truth is I need no excuse to drink. I can drink when the sun is shining and when it's cloudy. I am not using any excuses either way. I guess what I'm trying to come to terms with is a person I've trusted who cannot be trusted, and a way to not react to this in my typical way. Thanks.

smacked

Ok..to react atypical for you.. just don't drink. Simple enough? Hardly.. but just try it, I bet you'll survive.

As to the person you trusted that you can't anymore.. people make mistakes, people can be jerks, some people can do things like this for absolutely no reason whatsoever. People lie, cheat, steal. People love, give of themselves, and can be quite wonderful. It's just life.. chalk it up as another lesson learned about this particular person and move along. Sometimes people just do sucky things!

lauraandersen4

Don't let someone else's behavior control you! I did that time and time again... sounds like you have too. Is it worth it to let someone have that control over you? Doubt it. Do something else fun and constructive? I ran tonight as per a suggestion I got on here when I started thinking about drinking tonight. When I got home from the 5 mile run, I wanted water. I had 2 bottles of water and I'm not craving the wine yet... but I just got back an hour ago... I'm still filled up on water When the thoughts come back, I guess its time to find another constructive activity to do.

Katie09

Thanks, I just feel like crap. So what am I doing? Buying stuff off of Ebay I don't need. I've already spent $100 today and am ready for more - one of my other addictions. I just find it incredibly hard to sit with these emotions, and when I *win* on Ebay, for a minute I forget about everything. I can't tell you how much money I've spent on Ebay trying to get past stuff with this person. One day it was $750. I really MUST find a better way to process this stuff. Unemployed...Katie

mistycshore

We had a thing earlier this year. We learned that a really good friend, my husband's co-worker in a business they co-own with another man, had been embezzling lots of money over a period of years (hurt the business big-time). It was really hard. The knee-jerk reaction is to never trust anyone ever again. One morning, my husband woke up and said, "I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to live life with this kind of distrust in my heart." I followed his lead.

Lot's of people can't be trusted. That's not good reason to harden up or self-destruct.

tommyk

Easy for me to say, but - I'd suggest not having really high expectations of people.

As human beings we are all subject to pretty frequent faults.

And... at the least... give him/her a chance to explain.

Katie09

Thanks, at some point there are no explanations, other than the ones than hurt. I already know them. Good thing is I ran out of things to bid on on Ebay. I won one, lost a couple, so now I am in the clear as far as that self-damage goes...