chango

Not really sure how I ended up in the position I am in. I am about to turn 30, have a crappy job, NO friends and a marriage that is poised to collapse. god I am so lonely it hurts sometimes. I don't really think about drinking much anymore (886 days sober), but sometimes I feel like just giving up and retreating into alcoholism. I don't know what I need to do to make things better. The loneliness is tearing me apart slowly. Meetings are even worse. I don't connect with anyone. There's just no point to living like this. Something has to change.

Dime

Wow congrats on the 886 days of sobriety!! Sorry things are not going well for you right now but you have way too much going for you to destroy everything with booze. I am at around 1 1/2 yrs sober now and I definitely have tough times and very down days. Fortunately for me I always remember how bad it was when I was drinking and how drinking destroyed everything in my life. For the few moments of pleasure (like 10 minutes worth late in my drinking days) we pay an extremely big price. I am still learning that problems can be addressed and that flooding them with alcohol just delays them and allows them to get much worse.

Life is so much better sober.

smacked

Just like we make the choice to drink, not drink..etc, we are also the directors of our own lives.

What steps are you taking to improve yours?

If nothing happens, nothing happens.. ya know?

Wolfchild

It's important to our own sanity to find a different way of looking at things. This helps us to not go back to our "old ways" of dealing with life, others, and ourselves. When i'm at my worst, i keep reaching out to that newcomer, i stay responsible to my committments, and keep moving forward no matter what. This way of life has become available through Step work, Tradition work, staying in contact with my sponsor and the God of my understanding, and going to meetings. Sharing about what the exact nature of my problems are often gives me clarity about the solution! God has a way of taking care of me even when i don't feel like taking care of myself.

Stay sober and don't give up on yourself!!

jamdls

I have been alone throughout my sobriety (I don't count days but last drink was 8/25?/07) and there have been many times I've wondered why bother. I believe I was put on this earth for a reason and 1 of these days that reason will become clear I want my head to be clear so that I get it.
We are only as alone as we choose to be, reaching out to others just on SR has helped me tremendously to not feel alone, even if all I do is say hello.

Judy

Believe808

I was very lonely and so many times I still feel that way. I found that helping another fellow alcoholic/addict really takes me out of myself. I really push myself to extend my hand to anyone I don't know at a meeting. That is a big step for me because I am a loner. It really has helped me and maybe by taking some small steps first will help you. I have found that even people who seem to have it all, are still very lonely and love it when someone reaches out to them because it is so hard for them to do. I wish you peace and friendship, my friend. Pray for some guidance and try to help someone else, you will be amazed how good it feels.

CAPTAINZING2000

I'm a loner but, I'm never alone

joedris

Hey Chango, Sounds like you're going through a tough time. Yeah, you have the option of giving up and retreating into the bottle. It won't change anything, but it's an option. I'm no expert here, but I think you may want to seek out a counselor or therapist. What you're going through is way beyond anything I or anyone else can do for you other offer a lot of support. I went through a divorce several years ago (after I got sober) and know what you're experiencing. A therapist helped me a lot then, and I never returned to drinking. And I had seriously considered it, too.

tears25

I agree with joedis. Hitting the bottle will most likely enhance your lonely feelings and not solve anything. I think its good advice too to seek professional help. its a lot of stuff you've got going on and not a weakness to not be coping very well. congratulations on 886 days. that seems huge to me!!

burton2012

Don't know about you, but I realized that I felt so lonely because I didn't like who I was inside. I couldn't get out of my own head, and felt something was terribly wrong with me. It's hard to 'put yourself out there' when you feel 'less than'. This just increased my isolation, and I used alcohol to numb the pain.

But as I get sober, I realize that I have unique qualities, and that I belong. One of my favorite quotes is from Desiderata: "you are a Child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a Right to be here". Once I started to understand this, I started to get out of my own head, and appreciate what sober life has to offer. And people naturally pick up on this peace of mind, and want to spend more time around me. I'm becoming a 'reverse paranoid': there is a huge conspiracy to help me.

Just put first things first, and do what you have to do to feel good about yourself. For me this included getting sober, hitting the gym every day, reading positive messages and meditating on them, journaling. I avoid TV, negative people and situations, gossip. I try to treat everyone with the Golden Rule in mind. It was painful at first, but I am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin, being alone without being lonely. Good luck...

tommyk

A.A.

You wanna be where you can see, that our problems are all the same.

You wanna be where everybody knows your name.