yeah

Now that I am sober, i cant stop the racing thoughts that go through my head every minute of t7he day. regret, guilt, sorrow---24/7

INSOMNIA!!

will it ever go away? I have thoughts: "will my job find out that i was in the hospital 10 times" - "what will my friends think is going on if i dont drink" - "do i have a future of sobriety or is this my life, since i CANT stop"

they just wont end. I am an avid runner and hockey player and i keep busy. but i cant sleep and i'm just so unhappy.. i'm here on desperation for someone to relate to what i am going through.

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sunrise1

I know exactly where you are coming from... Tomorrow daytime will mark 7 days for me so I too have some of those feelings. What works for me is to remember it's really only TODAY I need to worry about- - and I will cross each bridge as I come to it.

There are plenty of people here on SR to help or to talk to... have you considered a program like AA or something else? I "decided" to quit several times but truly I don't think I was committed to it because I didn't let my thoughts (go to meetings, commit to a program, sponsor, etc) become actions.

Your friends will probably not really notice... if you are asked, you can always say "I'm just chilling out for a few days"... or another I have used is that I'm taking a medication that contraindicates any alcohol consumption... my closest friends know at least that I feel like I should take a break from drinking. It's not necessary to really say anything... nor divulge long-term plans...

It's a good thing you're here. Stick around... I know some of the tenured members will be along shortly to help as well. They are awesome and every post I read helps me.

shaun00

yes i can relate to that fully...

and im assuming your in very early recovery...

i found once my sleep pattern returned and the fog cleared.....i started to relax........the anxiety and panic subsided.

but while i wasnt sleeping my head was racing and full of unfounded fears..and worrys..

go easy on yourself........plenty of quiet time if you can.

relax.........your body and mind probably need it.

tears25

I can relate!!
I have the exact same thoughts racing around my head.

I think the biggest threat to me drinking again will be if people notice and ask me why I dont want a drink.

By the sounds of it, it's all pretty common struggles and emotions that most people go through, and there are a hell of a lot of sober people here so i'm hoping it can be possible for me and you too.

Take it easy.

Charmie

hello yeah,nice to meet you and welcome to sr.you will get plenty of support here.i remember only too well the racing brain,it wasnt that long ago for me (7th feb) i drank alcoholicaly for 20 yrs,im only 36.my life was one disaster after another.its not like that today.i have peace and contentment and lots of sleep which was elusive for years! i went to AA got a sponsor and im working the steps.my life has changed beyond recognition! im free! no more racing brain.its not for everyone but for me it has given me a life i never had and never thought possible.why not check out local meetings and give it a go.you have nothing to lose.just my esh,hope it helps.i wish you well whatever you decide to do.

CarolD

Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum.....

Early sobriety is just darn difficult for most of us.
The longer I have stayed sober....the easier it is.

About sleeping....please check out this link....

Insomnia? 42 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures

Also....please read the top 2 sticky post for info.

Keep in focus....and keep posting with us
We do understand..

Mark75

Yeah! You are in the right place... The racing thoughts, insomnia... You are on schedule in your journey of recovery.

I had all that... racing thoughts for a while, my insomnia got better within weeks.

Willingness... If you have it, you can do it. Early recovery is hard, but worth it. Hang in there... one minute at a time if you have to... keep posting, and don't drink!

Welcome!!

Mark

Chamabama

I can relate. I have 9 days now. The first week my anxiety was through the roof. I felt like my body was vibrating. I kept telling myself that it would pass although I'll admit there were moments that I found it hard to believe.

Sleep was the pits. But I have slept for 7 hours straight the last 2 nights. It does get better!

As for my friends, I'm meeting them after work on Wednesday for Happy Hour. I already warned them that I won't be drinking because I'm on a diet (not even a lie or improbable considering the weight I've put on during the past year). One of the 5 of us doesn't drink anyway. Another friend responded that she wasn't going to come because she is on a diet too, but if it's ok for her to only drink Ice Tea, then she's happy and coming too. So only 2 of the 5 of us will even being drinking! I'll stay on my diet for awhile and eventually, if anyone asks, I'll just say that since I had quit drinking for my diet, I feel much better, so I'm going to keep it that way.

Hold on. It does get better!

I also have tons of guilt, shame, remorse... but every day that I'm sober, the dial moves, almost imperceptibly, away from that area and into, dare I say, just a little bit proud of myself.

I am feeling better everyday. And it's simply awesome to wake up without a hangover. Good Morning!

Cleansing

Don't worry too much about your job finding out what has happened? That's thinking too much in the future about what has happened in the past.
Don't worry if you can live sober. I still don't know if i can do it, but you have to take it a day at a time. That's all that matters for now, the present. Today.

It's good you have a job hough, and are atheletic. That helps. You'll be okay.

Im on day 22, and I still feel sad, but it's not as bad as the first week. It takes a while apparently. For you, you might start feeling better by the end of the week. Who knows? we're all different.

optra

Very similar to my story...working the 12 steps from the Big Book with my sponsor was the key to freedom. I stayed sober for a while just by going to meetings but I wanted(needed) to be recovered as just being sober sucked. All the internal crap was still there and I no longer had my old standby to push it away. Today my life is better in more ways than I can list. The strange thing is the external pressures we all face on a day to day basis are still there, they just don't affect me like they used too.
I too wish you well on your own path.

tommyk

"... i'm here on desperation for someone to relate to what i am going through."

Stop the agony!

Hit an AA meeting and meet a lot of people who know the feeling.

Wolfchild

Your body is just beginning to recover from the use of alcohol. This takes time, steady meeting attendance, and healthy eating. Be kind to yourself and don't stress this temporary aspect of sobriety. It will get better!

joedris

What you're going through is normal. Insomnia, racing thoughts, we all went through that so stop worrying about it. It does get better, believe it or not. I too would recommend you try AA for a while. You'll find a lot of kindred souls who will be more than willing to help.

Tazman53

Yeah I can relate to that fully, I swore I had a committee that met in my head, this committee would take every fear I had and make it almost real, the committees answer was always gloom and doom, the committees answer was always "Hell might as well drink, at least the problems will quit spinning in my head. The same committee took tiny little problems and snowballed them into over whelming problems that I could not over come.

When I first quit drinking, that in reality was when my problems began! Drinking was always my solution to anything in life and suddenly that solution was gone and I knew no other way to deal with problems! When drinking was my solution and things started to spin in my head, I just drank and the spinning stopped until of course I started to sober up and then they were right back with a vengance!

I found another solution by taking the 12 steps of AA to heart and applying them to my every day life. The fears were unfounded, my real friends liked me better not drinking, the only folks who did not like me not drinking had just as bad a drinking problem as I had. I have found my new solution to life in the steps and fellowship of AA, I have found a power greater then myself or any of my problems to help me through those problems.

Sleep came and the spinning stopped, problems no longer snowball for no reason, I have learned how to deal with them.

Yes simply not drinking helped some, but I had to and have changed, I have found new ways of dealing with shame, guilt, fear, & life in general.

JJB

"The same committee took tiny little problems and snowballed them into over whelming problems that I could not over come." (Tazman)


That is exactly what happened to me . Being able to talk with people on SR and see a therapist and not having alcohol polluting my brain has taught me to deal with these problems differently.
I still have the same problems as before but they don't hurt as much. Why? because the alcohol isn't distorting my way of thinking anymore.

Good luck and keep working at your sobriety one day at a time-that's how i do it.
I've just had my first weekend when i've actually "enjoyed" being sober rather than just being pleased with myself for not drinking.

It's a great feeling .

I went to a restaurant two days ago and ordered a diet coke instead of wine with my meal. The first time i did this was really weird but this time it wasn't so difficult. I looked around and saw lots of other people also drinking coke.
It really isn't a big deal to other people!!

joedris

I fired the committee. One member I couldn't get rid of was the alcoholic guy. I locked him in the closet.

HappyMia

Haaaaaay!

Today is my day 15. What you are going through is totally normal. I know you may be getting sick of hearing this but it is so true: Take it one day at a time. Don't worry about work or what your friends will think. Focus on staying sober and your recovery. I know about the racing thoughts and the insomnia - it will pass. It took me about a week before I was able to sleep "normally" - whatever that means

Everyone here on SR is fantastic. AA is a solid idea too. I personally keep a journal to pour out my racing thoughts that still pay me a visit from time to time.

Keep posting and updating us on your progress. Best of luck to you and the rest of us.