Younger Members?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 40
Sailorjohn - It may be easy to do this in the USA, but in the UK, there isn't a significant portion of the population that doesn't binge drink. At universities, everyone drinks massively and you can't just join a different "crowd". You have a choice between social isolation (and remember you've just left home and don't have any new friends yet) or fitting in.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by Nuclerosis 
At universities, everyone drinks massively and you can't just join a different "crowd".
As far as joining a 'different crowd' goes, that would be your choice.
I still do the things I love-sailing, for example-but when it comes time for regatta 'rum parties' and things like that, I don't participate. I do understand that most if not all of your social life involves excessive drinking.
Attempting to stay sober while surrounded yourself with a sea of alcohol is extremely difficult, most of your drinking buddies probably won't be able to relate, and won't be offering any support.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 40
Oh I agree that if your immersed in a group of drinkers then it will be near impossible to give up the bottle. My post was more about how hard it is in the UK specifically to find friends for whom alcohol is not important in their lives.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: variable....
Posts: 36
hi neo
im 24 and and a wino...
been sober for 25 days now... i'm not worried about the thought that in AA etcetc a lot of alcoholics will be older- all they did was live longer...
but it is good to speak to people all ages for a wider scope i guess
cover all angles haha
give me a shout if you fancy a chat
tess
im 24 and and a wino...
been sober for 25 days now... i'm not worried about the thought that in AA etcetc a lot of alcoholics will be older- all they did was live longer...but it is good to speak to people all ages for a wider scope i guess
cover all angles haha
give me a shout if you fancy a chat
tess
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: variable....
Posts: 36
Originally Posted by Nuclerosis
Sailorjohn - It may be easy to do this in the USA, but in the UK, there isn't a significant portion of the population that doesn't binge drink. At universities, everyone drinks massively and you can't just join a different "crowd". You have a choice between social isolation (and remember you've just left home and don't have any new friends yet) or fitting in.
Zen Nihilist
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 147
I'm 24, but I have been mistaken for 10 years younger, so I have an interesting time in the world.
One of the best AA meetings we have around here is a "Young People's" meeting. It may be the most dedicated, hardcore Step Study I've ever been to.
In general, I won't exactly relate well to people of any particular age range. What matters is the way they think and their intelligence level, not how old they are.
What sucks is when older people in AA can only see you for your youth, and interact with you differently because of it. Most of them will absolutely mean well when they do this.
One of the best AA meetings we have around here is a "Young People's" meeting. It may be the most dedicated, hardcore Step Study I've ever been to.
In general, I won't exactly relate well to people of any particular age range. What matters is the way they think and their intelligence level, not how old they are.
What sucks is when older people in AA can only see you for your youth, and interact with you differently because of it. Most of them will absolutely mean well when they do this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 679
I'm 27. I know a guy who is 19 and he is in recovery. I look at him and have so much respect and a tinge of envy. Part of me wishes I had figured it out at 19, I would have had a much different few years. It is so amazing and courageous for him to be doing this now and in the long run is going to enhance his life so much. I say it like that because at that age there is no way I think I would have been able to see it. And people say, I certainly experienced this, that drinking and/or using stunts your emotional growth so you basically are the age you were when you started. Therefore at the onset of recovery I was the ripe age of 14. I might now be 16. So there might not be the amount of age disparities as there first seems in the AA room 
.
.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
In bigger cities they have young person's AA meetings.
I went to a meeting recently in Newport Beach CA at 6:30 in the morning, and I don't think there were more than 5 or 6 people over 30 there, out of about 80 at the meeting. I swear I felt like I was everyone's daddy or at least uncle. I am 48.
So there is good participation amongst younger people.
In my experience younger folks are often struggling with more than one substance. If this is your case you may need to find a group that is supportive of this. Some groups are strictly alcohol only and some are more open.
I went to a meeting recently in Newport Beach CA at 6:30 in the morning, and I don't think there were more than 5 or 6 people over 30 there, out of about 80 at the meeting. I swear I felt like I was everyone's daddy or at least uncle. I am 48.
So there is good participation amongst younger people.
In my experience younger folks are often struggling with more than one substance. If this is your case you may need to find a group that is supportive of this. Some groups are strictly alcohol only and some are more open.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I think it depends on the meetings you go to, ay my home group the youngest is 25 and there is one who is 27, a friend, who's story sends shivers down my spine and i'm 38, you know the sort of share where you say to yourself i don't want that!!!
In Barcelona there were actually quite a few very early twenties in the group i went to a few times. Definitely looks for the similarities with regard to the feeling, the patterns etc. Taking it a step further beyond age, i was in rehab with a heroin addict and a prescription med addict...the feelings, thoughts, pattern were exactly the same...very eye opening!
As a guest shared 2 weeks ago, you can get off the train at anytime although, for me, i would have not been able to do this in my early twenties and would not have been on this forum then (even if it had been about) as i was all into live fast die young, it didn't work out for me though lol
Learn from the older guys/girls mistakes, i actually did see the big flashing warning signs, i just didn't care enough to do anything about it. Good luck:-)
In Barcelona there were actually quite a few very early twenties in the group i went to a few times. Definitely looks for the similarities with regard to the feeling, the patterns etc. Taking it a step further beyond age, i was in rehab with a heroin addict and a prescription med addict...the feelings, thoughts, pattern were exactly the same...very eye opening!
As a guest shared 2 weeks ago, you can get off the train at anytime although, for me, i would have not been able to do this in my early twenties and would not have been on this forum then (even if it had been about) as i was all into live fast die young, it didn't work out for me though lol
Learn from the older guys/girls mistakes, i actually did see the big flashing warning signs, i just didn't care enough to do anything about it. Good luck:-)
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 773
It has been said that it takes an average of 10 years of hard core drinking to become true alcoholics. I saw a girl who announced her birthday at the meeting, she was only 17! I suspected her parents made her go to meetings. I'm sure her parents don't realize the amount of predators in the rooms. I saw 2 older men rush to this poor girl after the meeting to check out her "spirituality." I came into AA forced by a job in my mid 20's. Looking back I wasn't even a real alcoholic then. I suppose I'm jealous of the real young members today. They have never been to jail, detox, morning drinks, blackouts, ect.... At the same time maybe they aren't even real alcoholics and are just going through that college party stage. I think the sickest thing would be to have someone attend AA and not even be an alcoholic.
tib
tib
Zen Nihilist
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by tiburon88
I suppose I'm jealous of the real young members today. They have never been to jail, detox, morning drinks, blackouts, ect....
That's the kind of s hit that helps no one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by jane_668
Hi neo,
I'm 25 ,an alcoholic and addict.
I'm 25 ,an alcoholic and addict.
Just thought I'd jump on the band wagon to let you know that you're not alone neo.
I first accepted that I was alcoholic when I was about 19/20 (I'm not saying you're alcoholic).The first A.A. meeting I went to a fifty year old lady approached me and I just thought 'yet another older member' , when I got talking to her she told me she surrendered when she was 25.since then I've met loads of young people like myself in A.A. and older members who surrendered when they were in there twentys, some younger.
alcoholism doesn't just affect the poor and old, you become poor and old through alcoholism.
god bless.
spicedt
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Midwest
Posts: 70
I'm now 25. I first started AA at 24.
I too am often among the youngest in a meeting, but it really doesn't bother me. I may have only had 6 years of using/abusing, but I thank my lucky stars that I sobered up when I did. I see men and women who are in their 50s and 60s who are just trying to sober up. I don't want to give away anymore of my life to alcoholism than I already have.
I did try a younger people meeting, but was the oldest one there. Go figure I love my meetings, even if everyone is older. I learn so much from going.
I too am often among the youngest in a meeting, but it really doesn't bother me. I may have only had 6 years of using/abusing, but I thank my lucky stars that I sobered up when I did. I see men and women who are in their 50s and 60s who are just trying to sober up. I don't want to give away anymore of my life to alcoholism than I already have.
I did try a younger people meeting, but was the oldest one there. Go figure
I love my meetings, even if everyone is older. I learn so much from going.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Wow, Blast from the past!!!!!!
Just saw this thread and remembered posting it when I first joined. 2nd May 09.
wow, interesting reading my post which was written 3 months ago. Well I now refer to myself as an 'alcoholic' and have no doubts about that. I had a few periods of sobriety (37 days longest) and then went out on some mad binges again.
I am 24 days sober today and feel like I finally have reached the place where I can see total sobriety being a realistic option "one day at time"
I have been to about 12 AA meetings off and on, I find some parts of AA beneficial and others not so. Basically I go to a meeting when I need the face to face 'hardcore' element that they bring though i find many of the people in the meetings quite depressing tbh. But I use it as and when I need to. Nice to know it's there. I use step 1 as the basis of my personal recovery from alcoholism, I am not sure I need anymore than this as it boils down to the fact of admitting alcohol is not an option, period.
Hello to you Lucy!!
Just saw this thread and remembered posting it when I first joined. 2nd May 09.
wow, interesting reading my post which was written 3 months ago. Well I now refer to myself as an 'alcoholic' and have no doubts about that. I had a few periods of sobriety (37 days longest) and then went out on some mad binges again.
I am 24 days sober today and feel like I finally have reached the place where I can see total sobriety being a realistic option "one day at time"
I have been to about 12 AA meetings off and on, I find some parts of AA beneficial and others not so. Basically I go to a meeting when I need the face to face 'hardcore' element that they bring though i find many of the people in the meetings quite depressing tbh. But I use it as and when I need to. Nice to know it's there. I use step 1 as the basis of my personal recovery from alcoholism, I am not sure I need anymore than this as it boils down to the fact of admitting alcohol is not an option, period.
Hello to you Lucy!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Methuen, MA
Posts: 99
It's pretty cool revisiting an old post of yours', especially when it's a thread you started and people responded too. isn't it?!
>> ...wake up at 53 and realize you've drank away half your life.
Someone posted this earlier in this thread, and I resemble that remark, literally! :-) And, as I look back at the big picture, I'm extremely fortunate to have raised 2 wonderful kids who are great adults now, and that I'll be celebrating 30 years of marriage in a few months!
Anyway, sorry, didn't mean to make this about me. Enjoy your thread, Neo, and "keep up the good work"...
>> ...wake up at 53 and realize you've drank away half your life.
Someone posted this earlier in this thread, and I resemble that remark, literally! :-) And, as I look back at the big picture, I'm extremely fortunate to have raised 2 wonderful kids who are great adults now, and that I'll be celebrating 30 years of marriage in a few months!
Anyway, sorry, didn't mean to make this about me. Enjoy your thread, Neo, and "keep up the good work"...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST
I am 24 days sober today and feel like I finally have reached the place where I can see total sobriety being a realistic option "one day at time"
You're doing great neo, stay strong and just try your best to keep a day at a time in your mind, everyday sober is a massive step, I wish you well
spicedt.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 15
I'm 25 and I've only been to one AA meeting last year I think...maybe january, my memory isn't what it used to be. Anyway, I didn't care for it at all. Too much emphasis was on God this God that, blah blah. I'm an atheist so I was just rolling my eyes the entire time. Everyone was mostly older at least at this meeting, but it didn't really bug me as I was there with a friend, I just couldn't get into what they were saying and thought it was bs.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 68
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST
Hi, I am new here. One of the things that I am finding difficult is that a lot of people on here and my perceived notion of an alcolic generally (I admit I may be very wrong) is that they tend to be in their 30's, usually older. So I just wondered how many people on here are under age of 30, myself being 23.
This is one of the things that is making me feel apprehensive about going to AA meetings as I am worried that I will be a lot younger than everone else there and so feel a bit stupid/embarrased. It is also giving amunition to the 'niggling voice' insisting you merely like a 'proper' drink as afterall it's only Rock n Roll and you are certainly not an alcoholic, which is a term that I really am finding it hard to come to terms with saying and don't like, I tend to find Drink problem more apt, maybe this is to do with the engrained stereotype of the homeless street drinker. However I fully realise that this will ultimately happen to myself if I don't do something about my drinking before it becomes a full-blown physical addiction. I would always drink as soon as my eyes opened after I drank untill I passed out again.
I hope I don't offend anyone. this is not my intention whatsoever, i am just curious and feel i may be able to relate to other younger members more.
This is one of the things that is making me feel apprehensive about going to AA meetings as I am worried that I will be a lot younger than everone else there and so feel a bit stupid/embarrased. It is also giving amunition to the 'niggling voice' insisting you merely like a 'proper' drink as afterall it's only Rock n Roll and you are certainly not an alcoholic, which is a term that I really am finding it hard to come to terms with saying and don't like, I tend to find Drink problem more apt, maybe this is to do with the engrained stereotype of the homeless street drinker. However I fully realise that this will ultimately happen to myself if I don't do something about my drinking before it becomes a full-blown physical addiction. I would always drink as soon as my eyes opened after I drank untill I passed out again.
I hope I don't offend anyone. this is not my intention whatsoever, i am just curious and feel i may be able to relate to other younger members more.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
I'm 33 and an old guy.
A few weeks ago, at my home group, a young guy (maybe 21) who's a regular brought his parents with him. It was their first meeting. The subject that day was resentments and almost the entire room shared. By the end of the meeting, this kids father stood up and announced that maybe he had finally found the place he needed to be.
The lesson learned: We can always learn from each other and especially from the young guys.
Just try different meetings until you find one that fits.
A few weeks ago, at my home group, a young guy (maybe 21) who's a regular brought his parents with him. It was their first meeting. The subject that day was resentments and almost the entire room shared. By the end of the meeting, this kids father stood up and announced that maybe he had finally found the place he needed to be.
The lesson learned: We can always learn from each other and especially from the young guys.
Just try different meetings until you find one that fits.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
