People with dwi's/addiction related trouble....How can you live this down?
Helping Others, Helps Me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 481
People with dwi's/addiction related trouble....How can you live this down?
If you have battled or been through these problems before or are....what did you do to cope?
I am so overwhelmed by the terrible situation I have put myself in as a result of my poor choices when drinking. I mean I have two dwi's with 6 overall years of probation to follow or sit for 365 days and a DAR I am trying to fight.....
It just seems now a days everyone asks if you have anything on your record for employment....and not to mention the insurance end of these problems...and any proffessional license I would maybe want later on in life all of this all will surely come up
I am struggling right now...and not having a license until April 24th and now today potentially losing it for another 30 days and having to pay ANOTHER fee to get it back....is getting nuts. They say it gets worse before it gets better....but I am on the verge of snapping if I have another run in or something go wrong when I am doing my damndest to be on the straight and narrow....:wtf2 (thanks for listening....:ghug)
I am so overwhelmed by the terrible situation I have put myself in as a result of my poor choices when drinking. I mean I have two dwi's with 6 overall years of probation to follow or sit for 365 days and a DAR I am trying to fight.....
It just seems now a days everyone asks if you have anything on your record for employment....and not to mention the insurance end of these problems...and any proffessional license I would maybe want later on in life all of this all will surely come up
I am struggling right now...and not having a license until April 24th and now today potentially losing it for another 30 days and having to pay ANOTHER fee to get it back....is getting nuts. They say it gets worse before it gets better....but I am on the verge of snapping if I have another run in or something go wrong when I am doing my damndest to be on the straight and narrow....:wtf2 (thanks for listening....:ghug)
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,861
It took me about 9 years to clean up the wreckage of my drinking and drugging. We have no one to blame but ourselves for the situation we put ourselves in. I do empathize with your situation. I can only tell you that many many many people who were in the same situation and worse have recovered and re-joined society.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
magicman
it took me about 12 years to clear up most of my past,mainly my amends.
People will tend to forget things in time.I have had 4 dwi`s in the past.Been to jail 30 or 40 times,heck I don`t really remember.Been on probation probably at least 8-10 years of my life.
Not trying to plant discouragement to you my friend.There was times in my past when your situation would look great to me.Correct me if I am wrong,but it looks like you are frustrated with this whole mess of your license right now.
If so,we alcoholics don`t handle frustration very well.The drama or situations which causes our frustrations sometimes confuses or distracts us and we focus too much on the outside drama,or the situations outside us instead of looking inside and see whats going on there,trying to recognize it and do something about it.
Best wishes to you magicman...
it took me about 12 years to clear up most of my past,mainly my amends.
People will tend to forget things in time.I have had 4 dwi`s in the past.Been to jail 30 or 40 times,heck I don`t really remember.Been on probation probably at least 8-10 years of my life.
Not trying to plant discouragement to you my friend.There was times in my past when your situation would look great to me.Correct me if I am wrong,but it looks like you are frustrated with this whole mess of your license right now.
If so,we alcoholics don`t handle frustration very well.The drama or situations which causes our frustrations sometimes confuses or distracts us and we focus too much on the outside drama,or the situations outside us instead of looking inside and see whats going on there,trying to recognize it and do something about it.
Best wishes to you magicman...
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
MagicMan, I never got a DWI/DUI, so take what you will from my response.
What I did get was assault charges on my record, kids removed from my care, multiple involuntary hospitalizations and the reputation in a very small town as not just a drunk & druggie, but a crazy woman too. When I finally "came to," I thought the only solution was to move and start over. Seriously.
I know you're talking about a different kind of difficulty--the kind that can hit you in the pocketbook. I can tell you that I see very financially successful people with many years of sobriety inside the rooms, so I know they've gotten beyond it.
I can tell you that in regards to the reputation issue, those things don't change overnight, but being an example of sobriety goes a long way, slowly but surely. I've not been sober that long, and I've already had people at some of the community events that I've been involved in approach me and tell me that they are amazed by the difference--many using phrases such as "proud of" and "happy for" me. Oh, there are folks who will never change their opinion, but that's not really my problem and there's not much I can do about it. If their opinion interferes with reaching some goal I might have, well, some consequences last a long time. I just have to accept that.
One thing is for sure--drinking won't get you any closer to putting it behind you.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
What I did get was assault charges on my record, kids removed from my care, multiple involuntary hospitalizations and the reputation in a very small town as not just a drunk & druggie, but a crazy woman too. When I finally "came to," I thought the only solution was to move and start over. Seriously.
I know you're talking about a different kind of difficulty--the kind that can hit you in the pocketbook. I can tell you that I see very financially successful people with many years of sobriety inside the rooms, so I know they've gotten beyond it.
I can tell you that in regards to the reputation issue, those things don't change overnight, but being an example of sobriety goes a long way, slowly but surely. I've not been sober that long, and I've already had people at some of the community events that I've been involved in approach me and tell me that they are amazed by the difference--many using phrases such as "proud of" and "happy for" me. Oh, there are folks who will never change their opinion, but that's not really my problem and there's not much I can do about it. If their opinion interferes with reaching some goal I might have, well, some consequences last a long time. I just have to accept that.
One thing is for sure--drinking won't get you any closer to putting it behind you.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Like Steve it took me over 10 years to clean up the wreckage of my past, and that includes paying off ALL my old credit cards.
It does get better. Yes, it seems frustrating, but it does get better.
I took the risk when getting jobs and told my potential employers that I was in AA, that I was sober XXX amount of time and that One Day At A Time I would continue to do so. Somehow it never interferred. Usually got a "Good For You" from them.
Of course, remember also, each day that you move forward, is one day further away from that 'wreckage' and eventually, the DUI's and other things do fade into the past.
One of the promises that I love so much, says "we will not forget the past, nor wish to shut the door on it."
When I worked at Hughes Aircraft at the Missile Systems Division, part of my job was being on call for HR to come down when called, when they were doing an "intervention of sorts" with an employee with an addiction problem. See my wreckage became an asset.
Now, take some DEEP BREATHES, now take some more SLOW DEEP BREATHES. Concentrate on today. The 'what ifs' only confuse us worse. If I keep both feet in today, and keep my head where my feet are, then I can truly do justice to TODAY. When I stand there with one foot in yesterday, and one foot in tomorrow, then as my sponsor used to say..................................... "I'm p*ss**g on today."
That made a clear enough image in my head to help me immensely in STAYING IN THE NOW.
J M H O
It does get better, honest.
Love and hugs,
It does get better. Yes, it seems frustrating, but it does get better.
I took the risk when getting jobs and told my potential employers that I was in AA, that I was sober XXX amount of time and that One Day At A Time I would continue to do so. Somehow it never interferred. Usually got a "Good For You" from them.
Of course, remember also, each day that you move forward, is one day further away from that 'wreckage' and eventually, the DUI's and other things do fade into the past.
One of the promises that I love so much, says "we will not forget the past, nor wish to shut the door on it."
When I worked at Hughes Aircraft at the Missile Systems Division, part of my job was being on call for HR to come down when called, when they were doing an "intervention of sorts" with an employee with an addiction problem. See my wreckage became an asset.
Now, take some DEEP BREATHES, now take some more SLOW DEEP BREATHES. Concentrate on today. The 'what ifs' only confuse us worse. If I keep both feet in today, and keep my head where my feet are, then I can truly do justice to TODAY. When I stand there with one foot in yesterday, and one foot in tomorrow, then as my sponsor used to say..................................... "I'm p*ss**g on today."
That made a clear enough image in my head to help me immensely in STAYING IN THE NOW.
J M H O
It does get better, honest.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Hotel California
Posts: 175
It's been over 14 years since my last DUI
Since my last DUI I've been pulled over 3 times for speeding. The first two were warnings. The last one was a couple of weeks ago. He caught me dead on. Fortunately I'll be able to go to traffic school and keep this off my record.
I give thanks for my blessings and problems today. I gladly trade my old problems of DUI's and public intoxication for a speeding ticket. What a relief it was to not have to wonder if there was an open container in the car, or whether my license was suspended, etc, etc. I was cordial towards the officer and he was towards me. I accept the consequences of my actions. I was speeding, I got caught, I must pay the appropriate fines and penalties. Years ago I would have been whining about the unfairness of it all. Why didn't he ticket the other drivers going almost as fast, etc.
14 years ago I lost my license for 18 months, had to perform public service (Keep America Beautiful Campaign - wearing the Orange vests and picking up litter in parks). I learned the Public Transportation System and somehow managed to get where I needed to go and do the things I needed to do.
By coming into AA, getting a Sponsor, working the steps with him, being of service, doors opened for me that I would have never thought possible.
I've been with my current employer for 8 years. When it came time to answer the "Have you ever been convicted of a falony or misdimeanor offence? If so please describe on a separate sheet of paper", I listed the DUI's that I had. I gave as much detail as possible. The HR Dept. lost the sheet. I filled out another one but not as detailed. Somehow it was lost. I filled out a third just listing the offense and dates. They managed not to lose it. All my worries and concerns about my past were for naught.
As others have mentioned It does take time for the wreckage to be cleaned up.
Best of luck getting through this. I couldn't have gotten through what I did 14 years ago without getting a sponsor and working the steps & all the other stuff we're supposed to do - no surprise that doing so works to this day too.
I give thanks for my blessings and problems today. I gladly trade my old problems of DUI's and public intoxication for a speeding ticket. What a relief it was to not have to wonder if there was an open container in the car, or whether my license was suspended, etc, etc. I was cordial towards the officer and he was towards me. I accept the consequences of my actions. I was speeding, I got caught, I must pay the appropriate fines and penalties. Years ago I would have been whining about the unfairness of it all. Why didn't he ticket the other drivers going almost as fast, etc.
14 years ago I lost my license for 18 months, had to perform public service (Keep America Beautiful Campaign - wearing the Orange vests and picking up litter in parks). I learned the Public Transportation System and somehow managed to get where I needed to go and do the things I needed to do.
By coming into AA, getting a Sponsor, working the steps with him, being of service, doors opened for me that I would have never thought possible.
I've been with my current employer for 8 years. When it came time to answer the "Have you ever been convicted of a falony or misdimeanor offence? If so please describe on a separate sheet of paper", I listed the DUI's that I had. I gave as much detail as possible. The HR Dept. lost the sheet. I filled out another one but not as detailed. Somehow it was lost. I filled out a third just listing the offense and dates. They managed not to lose it. All my worries and concerns about my past were for naught.
As others have mentioned It does take time for the wreckage to be cleaned up.
Best of luck getting through this. I couldn't have gotten through what I did 14 years ago without getting a sponsor and working the steps & all the other stuff we're supposed to do - no surprise that doing so works to this day too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
Well, as some here know I have been battling a DUI from September.
I went out and hired the best lawyer I could find and he figures out a way to stall everything. Everyone tells me to just shut up and let him handle it.
I wish I could. Patience is not a virtue of mine. There are times, I just want jail. Just so it's finally over with and I can move on.
I went out and hired the best lawyer I could find and he figures out a way to stall everything. Everyone tells me to just shut up and let him handle it.
I wish I could. Patience is not a virtue of mine. There are times, I just want jail. Just so it's finally over with and I can move on.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 163
I obtained a professional license six years after I got sober. I had to go through a very tight background check. It wasn't an issue. I had one short conversation with the lawyer who reviewed my file. He asked me if I had anything other than the things that I had listed ("No.") and then passed me on the background check.
My husband just applied for his nursing license (he graduates in May! Yay!) and it wasn't an issue. They asked if he'd had any active addictions or alcoholism or treatment for either addiction or alcoholism in the last five years. (Nope. He's been sober way longer than that.) That was it. No big deal.
You can completely deal with a professional licensing board as long as you are honest with them and stay sober for a good period of time. The way to get time is one day at a time.
My husband just applied for his nursing license (he graduates in May! Yay!) and it wasn't an issue. They asked if he'd had any active addictions or alcoholism or treatment for either addiction or alcoholism in the last five years. (Nope. He's been sober way longer than that.) That was it. No big deal.
You can completely deal with a professional licensing board as long as you are honest with them and stay sober for a good period of time. The way to get time is one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 331
Oh man college time was a blur of mess. I am glad to be where i am before my 30th b day, before I am married, before I have kids and glad to have this weight removed from my life. I did however face thrown out of bars in college, trouble with roomates, fist fights, yelling and all that is associated with drinking and having some fire in me that was unleashed at people when i drank.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Back in the day, I was arrested for a DWI. I talked to the states attorney and got it dropped to a reckless driving.
What you don't do is drink over it. It'll take time to clear the mess up but, it will eventually be your past.
The important thing is, did you learn a lesson from all this?
If you didn't , there is more pain and anguish to follow you
What you don't do is drink over it. It'll take time to clear the mess up but, it will eventually be your past.
The important thing is, did you learn a lesson from all this?
If you didn't , there is more pain and anguish to follow you
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