UNHAPPY777

HI everyone! I have posted on the substance abuse board before but, never on alcoholism. Well I was wondering if someone could tell if alcohol contributes or causes you to use other drugs. My AH comes in some nights smelling just like alcohol and then at other times he comes in smelling like nothing but, still looks like he's under the influence. I knew for years that he drunk alcohol but, he always seemed to have it under control. In the last year soooo much has happend and I know he has to be addicted to something else. All he says is that he has to stop drinking. He stated that he didn't like the 12 step program. And to me he needs to stop making excuses because any program is better than NO program at all.

Another thing is there some type of drug out there besides METH that people can make at home. Has anyone ever been given a drug without knowing it. I know drugs like the date rape drug is out there but, have any alcoholics ever thought that they have just had a little too much to drink but in reality over time came to find out that they have been drugged along with the alcohol?

I know this sounds confusing but, there are many reasons that I am asking. I've found through the help of this site and my recovering alcoholic brother that alcohol is a very powerful drug. But, I've also seen my brother drane our cabinets dry. My home has alcohol in the cabinets for entertaining (maybe 3 times a year) and my husband hardly even touches it maybe twice a week.My husband sooo easily claims to be an alcoholic but, strongly denies any other drug use. My brother denied being an alcoholic until he got into treatment and worked his program. I believe and I could be wrong but, my husband may be covering for some other addiction. Can any recovering/alcoholics tell me what they think. + Have any of you ever been in a relationship with someone strickly based on the fact that they were supplying the alcohol and drugs?

Oh I know I'm rambling but, one more thing... On New Years Eve my husband disappeared only to reappear with a call the next day and say that he had been smoking Marijuana.. He said this because it was time to come home ... My husband in the 20 years I've known him can't stand the smell of Marijuana and gasps everytime he's around it. So, to make a long story short when he got home he didn't smell like alcohol or Marijuana but, he was disoriented and his pupils were dialated... PLEASE HELP with any advice or similar situations.....


Thank You

TryingSoHard

Hi Unhappy,

I unfortunately don't have much relevant experience, so I feel I can't answer your questions very well, but I did want to say hello and I'm sorry you're going through this. I did have one comment, though. You said:
Yeah, well, that doesn't mean he's not drinking. I had my own private stash that I kept hidden for just this reason. I didn't want my husband to know how much I was drinking. Sure, I'd have a beer in front of him, or if he fixed me a drink he saw how much rum or Jack Daniels was in it... but I didn't ever want him to look at a bottle and say, "You drank HOW MUCH last night??" so I just kept my own bottle that he didn't even know about. So, to me, the fact that he's not in your liquor cabinet doesn't mean a darn thing.

I really can't comment on the drug stuff. I'm sorry. Don't rely too much on him smelling like alcohol, either. There are ways around that (for the short term anyway... eventually he will start reeking even when he's not been drinking).

Please consider posting this on the Friends & Family forum if you haven't done so already. The people there have seen and heard just about everything and can offer support and experience that you can't imagine!

Best wishes to you.

sailorjohn

welcome!!!

I don't know about your husband, but I would do anything to change the way I feel. I consider myself an alcoholic and label myself as such because alcohol was primarily my doc-drug of choice. My advice for you would be to get some help for yourself. There is a life outside of his addiction.

Texasblind

Alcohol never drove me to any other drugs. It is entirely possible that after a binge, you can still look and act drunk while not having a drink for a few days. That's withdrawal setting in.

I agree with the previous poster about the private stash. I never touched the family liquor, but I had a liquor pile of my own that nobody knew about. I would keep my act together for holidays and family gatherings, parties, etc. Nobody ever questioned why I constantly went outside. lol I got so paranoid, I eventually stashed my liquor outside since nobody went there.

You can make just about any drug out there at home. I think you would notice a big operation like that going on though.

UNHAPPY777

I am just starting to breathe again. But, it seems like when I begin to breathe something always smoothers me again. It's funny how life sends you a hard ball and you just dont know how to catch it. I get a tingling sensation when I think of how long we've been together and how much we shared. One day I told him I just want things to be the way they use to be... He said I don't know how to get us back there

UNHAPPY777

Texas Blind......
Thanks for your reply! I'm just talking about drugs that can be made in the home out of household items. Is there any drug that could potentially make you fall asleep and you don't remember what went on? I'm sorry if I sound nieve... I don't know I'm sooo confused right night I may not even be making sense. But, I do know that this has been the worst year of my entire life!!!!

CAPTAINZING2000

A lot of drunks drink vodka cause, it's smell isn't as strong. You can still smell it if, you don't drink and smoke heavy yourself.

You'd smell pot for sure. There are so many drugs out there hard to say for sure.

The fact you say, your husband admits to being an alcoholic says it all. But, doing something about it is another thing.

You ever think of Al Anon???

Mark75

UNHAPPY

Many over the counter meds could make you fall asleep... There are so many possibilities in this regard. What's buggin' ya about that?

My wife has been saying for sometime that she wanted the old Mark back. I'm 4 months clean and sober and I already feel the old Mark coming back a little, hopefully she'll see it soon too. If what is keeping things for you from being the way they used to be drugs and/or alcohol, recovery from addiction is the first and only right step.

Sounds like though, you are not sure. Sailorjohn is right, get some help for you, because you can't make anyone else seek help, unless they want it.

Mark

UNHAPPY777

I agree completely Cubile but, I guess it's a pride thing. My husband keeps saying that he'll figure it out on his own but, we all know that it is basically impossible to do this on your own unless you are truely commited. And yes there is something wrong with taking a over the counter medicine if it is in excess of the recommended dosage. I was basically saying is there a mixture of something that he could be using straight from the household items.

Now at one time I thought it was METH and alcohol but, I soon found that to probably be impossible without a change in appearance. Yes I was attending counseling and hopefully in the near future I will find one designed to work with families of addiction. I have been to one al-anon meeting but, it's hard to find one that fits my work schedule and I have two small children.

Thanks for all the wonderful feedback!

Texasblind

There are tons of legal and illegal drugs that, when combined with alcohol, will make you fall asleep and black out. Even antihistamines will make you do that. Tylenol PM, NyQuil, any cough syrups, etc.

As to what can be made from regular old household stuff, I still stand behind my "you would recognize an operation like that" statement. Things like meth, GHB, and Ecstasy cannot be made "under the radar" at home.

laurie6781

I have to ask this

WHAT DOES IT MATTER? He is using mind altering chemicals to numb himself, doesn't matter what they are.

He obviously has a problem, in your eyes and it's making you miserable.

Whether you stay or go is your business, however, I would suggest you try some AlAnon for YOU. I believe it would change your whole perspective on the situation.

You didn't CAUSE this.

You can't CONTROL this.

and

You can't CURE this.

What AlAnon can and will do if you work the prgram is allow you to set BOUNARIES for yourself and what is and isn't acceptable around you. It will help you to 'focus' on YOU and take some of your stress off in NOT monitoring him.

We have a great Friends and Families Forum , please check it out:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Love and hugs,

Peter

O f course it's possible your husband may be using other drugs , but even with your detailed report we could never really know for certain.

Nevertheless it sounds to me like his drinking alone is enough cause for concern.

Whichever treatment programe helped your brother find recovery i suggest you both try and encourage him to join it.

flutter

Sounds to me like it doesn't matter the substance, he's not sober, and it upsets you. When he admits to being an alcoholic, do you ask him why he hasn't addressed it? Is he planning to quit, or just die an alcoholic death?

I remember when I drank and didnt want my husband to know that's what was f***ing me up so bad I'd tell him I took too many sleeping pills cuz I was anxious. That sounds ridiculous I know, but maybe your hubby is doing the opposite? He says it's alcohol when it's really something else? who knows.. TONS of stuff mixed with alcohol can cause serious reactions. I one time just took ONE vicodin and had 2 drinks and blacked out the rest of the night.

I hope you figure out what YOU need in all this, and do it for YOU, and those babies.

Tazman53

As others have said already I will emphasize, it is time for you to focus on you and your family and not him, go to Alanon, most Alanon meetings happen at the same time in the same building as Alateen meetings because trust me, your kids are effected by his drinking FAR more then you can imagine, my kids were tore up by mine.

In regards to your husbands change recently, for many years I hid my drinking, what I mean by that is I hid the amount I was drinking, I would drink 2 or 3 beers in front of the family after having killed over a 12 pack in my garage, I would slide out to the garage for more beer all through the evening simply killing the one I was drinking and grabbing another one.

Well things went haywire for me after may years of drinking, one day I could drink from sunup to sundown slamming one beer after another and never even get a buzz, then the next day I would be glassy eyed, slurring my speech, & stumbling after only 6!!!

What was happening was my tolerance to alcohol had gone haywire. He may not be doing anything other then alcohol, his tolerance to it may be going haywire.

As others have already said, drunk, stoned, tripping, or tweaking....... does it really matter? It is his problem, only he can address it and only when he is ready, the best thing for you to do is take care of your self and the kids and not enable him.

UNHAPPY777

Tazman thank you... It does seem as though his tolerance level has gone haywire and he doesn't know quite how to deal with it. TOLERANCE for what though! He has'nt been held accountable for anything and I think I have been enabling him. I have read the book Co-Dependent No More and a lot of things apply to me. His sister told me that I was killing him because I never allowed him to be a MAN. How do you allow someone to be a man I though that was just natural. Now, I have taken over when he has lacked because someone had to be responsible. There is no way I'm gonna let my house payment or car note go unpaid because OOPS I forgot. She also said that I was "desperate" for staying with her brother. How bizarre I had a chance to marry someone in the NFL but, I choose my husband and he choose me....I have 5 degrees and can take care of myself... But, I LOVE MY HUSBAND. I love him and I can't fix him but, by no means am I desperate. I will take care of me and my children first.

I'm sorry I'm just venting. Until people actually are in this situation it's hard to talk to them. I am lucky to have such wonderful people to talk to here on this site and for that I am thankful...........

lisa t

hey unhappy...sounds to me like your tolerance level is running out!! doesn't really matter what the drug of choice is..alcohol...meth...pot...crack...he has to want it for himself...i know you are frustrated and angry and and and..i was the drunk on the other side but have heard very similar things said from husband when i was drinking...hang in there for you & your children...and by that i mean..take care of you & your kids...maybe it's time hubby starts trying to take care of hubby....i know you love him but love doesn't fix THIS!!!
Wishing you some peace!
Lisa