Getting worried about Christmas
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Getting worried about Christmas
It has occured to me today how close Christmas is.
I am a window cleaner, yesterday a customer pointed out how it was four weeks till Christmas, so i wouldn't see her till after, so gave me a Christmas tip. Last year i was given lots of wine, bottles of Brandy, Whiskey, you name it. I don't remember much of December.
I know i am going to be given drink again this year as part of the Christmas tips.
I am coming up to six months sober in a couple of days. I know we should keep it in the day, but six months has been a bit of a target or goal. So acheiving this i know i must revert back to day by day.
Christmas is worrying me if i'm honest. I am going to have the feeling of missing out, when i know friends are out drinking and enjoying the festivities.
I have lost my desire to drink since May, but today i have found i have obsessed a bit about a drink at Christmas. I phoned my sponsor, when i realised i was becoming obsessive, he re-iterated 'keep it in the day' and try not to worry about tomorrow's or in this case Christmas drinking.
Any thoughts?
Paul
I am a window cleaner, yesterday a customer pointed out how it was four weeks till Christmas, so i wouldn't see her till after, so gave me a Christmas tip. Last year i was given lots of wine, bottles of Brandy, Whiskey, you name it. I don't remember much of December.
I know i am going to be given drink again this year as part of the Christmas tips.
I am coming up to six months sober in a couple of days. I know we should keep it in the day, but six months has been a bit of a target or goal. So acheiving this i know i must revert back to day by day.
Christmas is worrying me if i'm honest. I am going to have the feeling of missing out, when i know friends are out drinking and enjoying the festivities.
I have lost my desire to drink since May, but today i have found i have obsessed a bit about a drink at Christmas. I phoned my sponsor, when i realised i was becoming obsessive, he re-iterated 'keep it in the day' and try not to worry about tomorrow's or in this case Christmas drinking.
Any thoughts?
Paul
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
My best suggestion would be this - now is the time to stick as close as possible to your group, your sponsor and us. The holidays are rough, especially these at the end of the year when there is typically lots of alcohol (I mean, not many people get plastered for Valentine's Day) and Lord, especially if you are going to be given it as gifts. Do you have anyone you can turn immediately around and re-gift it to or get them to dispose of it for you?
I remember early in sobriety I had to coordinate a meeting that included a happy hour. I had to go make sure the happy hour was set up properly. This was nerve wracking enough when it was just me, the bartender and all this alcohol. Then the bartender tells me he needs to go check on something and will be right back can I keep an eye on things. OMG it's like asking a bank robber to watch a safe LOL!
Anywho I digress. Calls to my sponsor got me through that evening. I hope calls to your sponsor will get you through this season. I started a thread last week about surviving holiday parties that might prove useful to you. It talks about building safety nets. But the gifts, keep them going right on along to the next grateful recipient you can find even if its a stranger. Might seem like a waste but hey, it's your life we are talking about here and you are SO WORTH IT!!!!
Stay in touch with us and know that you can get through this!
Hugs,
Kellye
I remember early in sobriety I had to coordinate a meeting that included a happy hour. I had to go make sure the happy hour was set up properly. This was nerve wracking enough when it was just me, the bartender and all this alcohol. Then the bartender tells me he needs to go check on something and will be right back can I keep an eye on things. OMG it's like asking a bank robber to watch a safe LOL!
Anywho I digress. Calls to my sponsor got me through that evening. I hope calls to your sponsor will get you through this season. I started a thread last week about surviving holiday parties that might prove useful to you. It talks about building safety nets. But the gifts, keep them going right on along to the next grateful recipient you can find even if its a stranger. Might seem like a waste but hey, it's your life we are talking about here and you are SO WORTH IT!!!!
Stay in touch with us and know that you can get through this!
Hugs,
Kellye
Next stop: real life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 990
Planning for any contingency always helps my stress level. Maybe figure out ahead of time who you're going to give the booze to, what you're going to say if you're invited to sit down for a drink? Think of it this way, every bottle of booze you get as a tip is a Christmas gift you don't have to buy for a normie friend!
Congrats on your (almost) six months!
This is my first sober Christmas in a while too... we'll make it. 
Congrats on your (almost) six months!
This is my first sober Christmas in a while too... we'll make it. Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Why not think of sober plans now for the holiday season?
My first sober Christmas I hung on to my AA club and
attended lots of meetings . There were also dances
and covered dish buffets all over the city.
On Christmas morning...I went to a nearby church that
was feeding homeless people. I helped cook and serve.
Then up to the main church for services.
I'm sure your sponsor will have ideas as to what is
needed or possible in your area.
Keep moving forward Paul....
My first sober Christmas I hung on to my AA club and
attended lots of meetings . There were also dances
and covered dish buffets all over the city.
On Christmas morning...I went to a nearby church that
was feeding homeless people. I helped cook and serve.
Then up to the main church for services.
I'm sure your sponsor will have ideas as to what is
needed or possible in your area.
Keep moving forward Paul....
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Last weekend, I was in Montreal to attend the annual Grey Cup festivities (Canada’s national football championship, 66,000 people at the game). It’s also known as Canada’s national drunk. It’s the only place I have been to where it is acceptable to go on a 4 day bender. I have been attending the Grey Cup for several years but never sober.
I had some pretty intense anxiety for a few days leading up to my trip. What if this or that happens? Will my sobriety crumble?
I did see a lot of people drinking, laughing, and raising hell. On occasion, I did feel a bit of resentment (why can’t I do that?) but it was easily manageable. I have accepted that I am an alcoholic and that the drinking life isn’t for me. I also saw a few people blacked out, passed out in public, with uncontrollable cravings, drinking whiskey straight out of the bottle first thing in the morning…ugh! That used to be me. No thanks.
Some of the things that helped me deal with any temptation:
-I went with a person who does not drink (not an alcoholic).
-I talked about how I felt with others (to get it out of my head, keep it in perspective).
-I only went to places where there was partying if I had a reason to be there (eg. To eat, to listen to a band, the football game itself). I didn’t go to these places to live through the drinking experiences of others.
-I did all kinds of enjoyable stuff that did not involve drinking (Montreal is a beautiful city).
Looking back, the anxiety prior to my trip was unwarranted. Take precautions and use common sense – yes. But also have confidence that if you are working a strong program, you will not give in and you will enjoy yourself. I had a blast in Montreal and I’m certainly not sitting here thinking “man, I wish I would have went on a bender”.
Do I expect to get through the Christmas season without any temptation or discomfort? No. Do I expect to remain sober and have a great time? Yes. As long as I keep doing what I am doing, I really don't have to worry about it.
I had some pretty intense anxiety for a few days leading up to my trip. What if this or that happens? Will my sobriety crumble?
I am going to have the feeling of missing out, when i know friends are out drinking and enjoying the festivities.
Some of the things that helped me deal with any temptation:
-I went with a person who does not drink (not an alcoholic).
-I talked about how I felt with others (to get it out of my head, keep it in perspective).
-I only went to places where there was partying if I had a reason to be there (eg. To eat, to listen to a band, the football game itself). I didn’t go to these places to live through the drinking experiences of others.
-I did all kinds of enjoyable stuff that did not involve drinking (Montreal is a beautiful city).
Looking back, the anxiety prior to my trip was unwarranted. Take precautions and use common sense – yes. But also have confidence that if you are working a strong program, you will not give in and you will enjoy yourself. I had a blast in Montreal and I’m certainly not sitting here thinking “man, I wish I would have went on a bender”.
Do I expect to get through the Christmas season without any temptation or discomfort? No. Do I expect to remain sober and have a great time? Yes. As long as I keep doing what I am doing, I really don't have to worry about it.
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
Christmas is worrying me if i'm honest. I am going to have the feeling of missing out, when i know friends are out drinking and enjoying the festivities.
As you said bout missing out , But if you think about it you said you dont even remember much of december . whats the point in a holiday if you cant remember how nice it was to celebrate the reason for the season ? Its so much nicer to have an instant reply in the mind of all the good things that went on during the special days of the year , then a foggy recall and askin if " I did that" or who did that . Take it one day at a time , make a plan for those days wher you know it will be slippery , and you can politly refuse the bottles as gifts , and just say your alergic to it , if your uncomfortable saying your a recovering drinker . have a great day ...:atv
As you said bout missing out , But if you think about it you said you dont even remember much of december . whats the point in a holiday if you cant remember how nice it was to celebrate the reason for the season ? Its so much nicer to have an instant reply in the mind of all the good things that went on during the special days of the year , then a foggy recall and askin if " I did that" or who did that . Take it one day at a time , make a plan for those days wher you know it will be slippery , and you can politly refuse the bottles as gifts , and just say your alergic to it , if your uncomfortable saying your a recovering drinker . have a great day ...:atv
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 164
first thought...tell em thanks for thought of the alcoholic gift but i'm not a drinker, maybe you should pass it along to someone else with my compliments!! there are plenty of people out there that are happy to get a bottle of whatever at the holidays! and i agree with your sponsor, keep it in today, keep it simple! these help me keep it sober! you can do it!!!
In peace & sobriety,
Lisa
In peace & sobriety,
Lisa
Last edited by lisa t; 11-28-2008 at 06:35 PM.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
(Canada’s national football championship, 66,000 people at the game). It’s also known as Canada’s national drunk. It’s the only place I have been to where it is acceptable to go on a 4 day bender.
I don't want to miss the football, so I am the designated driver tomorrow for the Alabama/Auburn game. Everybody else is going to get ripped but I am staying sober and making sure no one gets arrested!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: NY State
Posts: 114
I found this writing when I was first sober and review it with sponsees at holiday time;
A Threefold Disease
It has often been noted wryly that alcoholism is a threefold disease: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. The holidays can be a minefield of emotions, both good and bad, and many of us struggle with family and relationship issues that are brought into sharp focus at this time of year. But sobriety can bring a different perspective, so long as we remember our primary purpose: to stay sober and help another alcoholic. With this simple goal in mind, we’ve found that it’s possible to enjoy this time of year whether we spend time with our families or not. Sometimes the best we can do is to stay in close contact with our recovering friends and community; and this, we have found, can be more than enough to make it through the holiday season safely.
A Threefold Disease
It has often been noted wryly that alcoholism is a threefold disease: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. The holidays can be a minefield of emotions, both good and bad, and many of us struggle with family and relationship issues that are brought into sharp focus at this time of year. But sobriety can bring a different perspective, so long as we remember our primary purpose: to stay sober and help another alcoholic. With this simple goal in mind, we’ve found that it’s possible to enjoy this time of year whether we spend time with our families or not. Sometimes the best we can do is to stay in close contact with our recovering friends and community; and this, we have found, can be more than enough to make it through the holiday season safely.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Thanks for your comments guys.
It's definately going to mean more meetings, more phone calls and more reading, also to take it within the day.
I am not going to refuse the gifts from people. First of all i accepted many alcoholic gifts last year, so in refusing this year i would have to do a bit of explaining, which i do not really want to do with customers. So i guess the best idea is to pass them on.
The missing out part, i guess i will have to dwell on the positives of not drinking, how much my life has improved over the last year. So much so, that drinking at Christmas could compromise that.
Thanks
Paul
It's definately going to mean more meetings, more phone calls and more reading, also to take it within the day.
I am not going to refuse the gifts from people. First of all i accepted many alcoholic gifts last year, so in refusing this year i would have to do a bit of explaining, which i do not really want to do with customers. So i guess the best idea is to pass them on.
The missing out part, i guess i will have to dwell on the positives of not drinking, how much my life has improved over the last year. So much so, that drinking at Christmas could compromise that.
Thanks
Paul
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 163
Whenever someone offers me alcohol as a favor or a gift, I just smile and say "Thank you, but I don't drink. I really appreciate you thinking of me, though!"
It's better than having a lot of booze sitting around undrunk.
It's better than having a lot of booze sitting around undrunk.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 157
Just remember that this year you will remember December. Hey, that rhymed! :bounce Also remember that just because they are drinking doesn't mean they are having more fun then you, only if you let them!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Digerdoo my greatest fear when I quit drinking was being sober!!! I had no idea what life was like sober...... I imagined it was really boring!
In other words like you, I felt I was going to be missing out on things!
Well it turned out I missed out on life while I was drinking!
My first Christmas sober I actually went Christmas shopping and enjoyed it!!! I enjoyed putting up the tree without a single argument or being pushed to do so. My wife commented that she could not recall a prior Christmas where the tree was up and looked good and the lights looked right!!!!!
I found that get togethers with family and friends were actually fun and not something that interfered with me get hammered! I remembered what food I ate and that it tasted darn good! I enjoyed singing Carols and just hanging out with folks.
I actually remembered all of this the next day. I enjoyed sitting down and watching my kids open thier gifts, instead of sitting there wishing they would hurry up to where I could get up and get another drink!
I did not worry about getting a DUI, or embarassing myself or family, we did not argue, my wife did not constantly nag me about how much I was drinking...... hell we enjoyed each other.
Digerdoo above is what I was missing out on for years due to my drinking life away foolishly thinking that I was living life!!!
You have had some excellent suggestions given to you, stay close with other sober folks, if you go some where and they are drinking make sure you have an out in case the urge grabs you! Drive your self, that way you can leave when ever you want.
In other words like you, I felt I was going to be missing out on things!
Well it turned out I missed out on life while I was drinking!
My first Christmas sober I actually went Christmas shopping and enjoyed it!!! I enjoyed putting up the tree without a single argument or being pushed to do so. My wife commented that she could not recall a prior Christmas where the tree was up and looked good and the lights looked right!!!!!
I found that get togethers with family and friends were actually fun and not something that interfered with me get hammered! I remembered what food I ate and that it tasted darn good! I enjoyed singing Carols and just hanging out with folks.
I actually remembered all of this the next day. I enjoyed sitting down and watching my kids open thier gifts, instead of sitting there wishing they would hurry up to where I could get up and get another drink!
I did not worry about getting a DUI, or embarassing myself or family, we did not argue, my wife did not constantly nag me about how much I was drinking...... hell we enjoyed each other.
Digerdoo above is what I was missing out on for years due to my drinking life away foolishly thinking that I was living life!!!
You have had some excellent suggestions given to you, stay close with other sober folks, if you go some where and they are drinking make sure you have an out in case the urge grabs you! Drive your self, that way you can leave when ever you want.
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