LostSoul79

wondering how many people suffered from this???

this was my biggest problem. basically, i would have a drink and it would go downhill from there. 1 would turn into 2, 2 would turn into 4, 4 to 8 and so on until my body couldn't handle anymore or until the booze was gone. if i was still awake and there was no more, i would leave to find more. as the night went on, there was no stopping me....if you crossed me, i would turn into a rage. the fun guy at the beginning of the night was the farthest from it by the end. i loved to drink, but hated waking up the next day wondering what happened because it almost always turned into a blackout.

i can't even count anymore how many times this happened. the amount of pain i caused my ex-fiancee for the hurtful outlashes (words, not fists). the apologies were so many that they just didn't seem to matter anymore.

how i escaped serious harm while on autopilot really surprises me. it is such a helpless feeling that next day wondering what happened, asking the people you were with to fill in the blanks. it was only a matter of time before something did and i am taking a step so that it doesn't.

for me, the only way to fix the problem is to try and eliminate it from happening anymore....and that is to rid the body and mind of anything alcoholic.

Dee74

I suffered from auto pilot many times too - sometimes it hit me as I was going to buy the bottle, sometimes it hit me after the first sip, but it almost always hit me.

I don't miss that, or the remorse of 'coming to'.

good for you for taking action now

D

stone

Yep, can't stop once I start, Jeckyll and Hyde syndrome, blackouts, remorse.

Sounds like the definition of an alkie.

And yes, I believe the only solution is total abstinence.

Pam08

That is definitely me. I never would stop drinking til the bottle was gone, passed out etc. Wake up not knowing all I said, be bruised and cut, etc. Black outs= scarey stuff. I never really wanted to know what I didnt remember so i would avoid asking. Definitely sign of out of out of control drinking or alcoholic. I can connect with you. Good luck with your sobriety, your not alone here, I am new, 9 days for me...again..

achanceonu

Thank you so much for the reminder LostSoul. Not only do I suffer from "auto pilot" or "booze tunnell vision", but I also suffer from selective memory loss. That is, that I tend to forget the bad stuff I did during my "auto pilot" and blackouts, and after a while, will start to fantasize about how much "fun" I had. At the end, none of it was fun, and I need people to remind me of that.

Good luck and welcome

I am only sober longer than u if I woke up before you this morning. WE only have THIS 24 hours!!

sober date 7/10/08

soarinhigh

I think my whole life was on auto pilot

Anna

I think that the disease of addiction took over my mind completely. It was a huge step for me to be able to think rationally enough, to be able to take a step out of the vicious cycle.