TheQuixotian

Hello,

As some may or may not remember, I lost a loved one to alcoholism last year. With the help of friends, SR, some counselling and informing myself in greater detail on this addiction, I have come a long way in letting go of the substantial guilt I felt with the 'what could and should I have done to prevent this' aspect. It will rear it's head now and then but it's definitely not as overwhelming as it once was. The grief of course is another thing altogether but I think I am learning to move forward.

While I cannot change my friend's fate, I think maybe my knowledge can assist others in the future and I have remained curious about the last times I saw him prior to his death. He had just come off a binge of about one week of several bottles of vodka. About the second day in, he had called to say there was an emergency on the day of a mutual friend's birthday. He was walking around in an excited state and was 'showing me" a ghost or alien that was sleeping in his bed and was the 'surprise' for our friend.

The next day we spoke on the phone and he seemed fine but by the day after he seemed less coherent (and I thought he had been drinking but now I'm not so sure) and when I asked about the hallucinations to which he queried why I didn't believe him (that they were real i.e. not hallucinations) which disturbed me because usually after his withdrawals he recognizes that they were hallucinations. About two days after he came over seeming fine physically but very depressed at the end of which he told me 'I'm no good for you' and left. I spoke to him again the day before he died and he seemed to be coming out of a second binge. I was told that the next day he called to persons with short term lapses in memory and that he had left his apartment and came back. For those that do not know he died from the fumes of his cigarette which stay lit with him passed out or maybe in a coma on the bed.

I know I'll never know for sure what he was going through and obviously will wonder if I had realized the seriousness of what was happening and taken him to the hospital if things woudl've taken a different turn; but I wanted to know if anyone on this forum had any similar type of experiences following their withdrawals and how does going through the DTs differ from going through 'regular' withdrawal hallucinations.

I have to tell you though, no matter how much I read, the drive of the addiction still seems so mysterious i.e. is the person's own issues that drive the next drink, the 'demon' inside their head, the alcohol that has taken over their brain, is there really a choice, are all alcoholics really in some internal pain or turmoil or is it just the physiological addiction or stubborness?. I read exercepts from 'Under the Influence' which just makes me wonder more. It's all so confusing and horrible.

Anyway, thanks for reading and look forward to your responses.

Q

CarolD

Hello again Q...
I don't know the medical differences between
hallucinations and D.T.'s.
You might want to Google.

I am sorry you did lose your friend
and hope you will find peace soon.