Not my first rodeo...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ca
Posts: 214
Not my first rodeo...
First post...
Been drinking pretty heavy for 16 years on and off. Like many of you I used to just get hammered on the weekends and laugh at all the crazy blackouts and craziness my friends and I would end up creating. Normal weekend in college was starting friday night and partying saturday night as well, recover sunday and back to life monday.
As I got older and out in the real world things began to slowly change...now when I would drink it would usually be a situation where I would guzzle like a mad man for 2-3 days straight, and then stop and deal with 2-3 days of suffering coming down from the booze.
Now, years later my last few bad benders have included doing nothing but drink for 7-12 days straight (vodka gatorade's a plenty), 2 arrests on dui charges, lost opportunies with women and possible job advancement, job loss in general, shame, loss of weight due to malnurishment, sweats, shakes, convulsions, depression, money problems.....so on so on......you all know the story. My costs for the neverending benders include: arrests, friendships, girlfriends, scars from fighting, missed appointments, and the worst.....depression and feelings of worthlessness.
The last bender I was on was an 8 day alcohol diet, I missed appointments at work, ruined my relationship with the girl I was dating, lied constantly, passed out 2-3 times a day, and the icing on the cake, smacked the back right of my company car into the side of my garage while in a blackout. That alone could have cost me BIG TIME! The depression and withdrawals I went through following that bender were wicked; sweats, shakes, anxiety, clammy skin, insomnia, nerves shot......
I decided after the last one I would be done with booze, that was over a month ago. I have read many of your posts and I am glad this site is here. That is all for now....just felt like joining this group of people who are like me in knowing we are not good drinkers.
Been drinking pretty heavy for 16 years on and off. Like many of you I used to just get hammered on the weekends and laugh at all the crazy blackouts and craziness my friends and I would end up creating. Normal weekend in college was starting friday night and partying saturday night as well, recover sunday and back to life monday.
As I got older and out in the real world things began to slowly change...now when I would drink it would usually be a situation where I would guzzle like a mad man for 2-3 days straight, and then stop and deal with 2-3 days of suffering coming down from the booze.
Now, years later my last few bad benders have included doing nothing but drink for 7-12 days straight (vodka gatorade's a plenty), 2 arrests on dui charges, lost opportunies with women and possible job advancement, job loss in general, shame, loss of weight due to malnurishment, sweats, shakes, convulsions, depression, money problems.....so on so on......you all know the story. My costs for the neverending benders include: arrests, friendships, girlfriends, scars from fighting, missed appointments, and the worst.....depression and feelings of worthlessness.
The last bender I was on was an 8 day alcohol diet, I missed appointments at work, ruined my relationship with the girl I was dating, lied constantly, passed out 2-3 times a day, and the icing on the cake, smacked the back right of my company car into the side of my garage while in a blackout. That alone could have cost me BIG TIME! The depression and withdrawals I went through following that bender were wicked; sweats, shakes, anxiety, clammy skin, insomnia, nerves shot......
I decided after the last one I would be done with booze, that was over a month ago. I have read many of your posts and I am glad this site is here. That is all for now....just felt like joining this group of people who are like me in knowing we are not good drinkers.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
I used to just get hammered on the weekends and laugh at all the crazy blackouts and craziness my friends and I would end up creating. Normal weekend in college was starting friday night and partying saturday night as well, recover sunday and back to life monday.
As I got older and out in the real world things began to slowly change...now when I would drink it would usually be a situation where I would guzzle like a mad man for 2-3 days straight, and then stop and deal with 2-3 days of suffering coming down from the booze.
As I got older and out in the real world things began to slowly change...now when I would drink it would usually be a situation where I would guzzle like a mad man for 2-3 days straight, and then stop and deal with 2-3 days of suffering coming down from the booze.
Now, years later my last few bad benders have included doing nothing but drink for 7-12 days straight
Once I accepted that I am an alcoholic and, in my heart, truly wanted to quit (not learn to moderate) I was able to move forward with a solution – in my case, AA. Over 9 months sober, and life has never been better.
Congratulations on your 30+ days of sobriety. Best wishes!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ca
Posts: 214
Thanks for the replies....
I won't say the urges don't exist because they do, but the other times I have stopped for a decent amount of time I always talked myself back into the bottle by remembering the "fun" times w/booze, while somehow forgetting how many bad things can/have occured while drinking. I used to tell myself things like "oh the wd's weren't so bad, have a few and relax, just don't go overboard"......sure...lol.
I can't think of one reason as to why I should damage myself any further, and because I have the choice to avoid all of the badness booze brings to my life.....I choose to axe it from my life.
Good luck and blessings to all on this site, I read posts all of the time and it helps when I get dumb thoughts in my mind.
I won't say the urges don't exist because they do, but the other times I have stopped for a decent amount of time I always talked myself back into the bottle by remembering the "fun" times w/booze, while somehow forgetting how many bad things can/have occured while drinking. I used to tell myself things like "oh the wd's weren't so bad, have a few and relax, just don't go overboard"......sure...lol.
I can't think of one reason as to why I should damage myself any further, and because I have the choice to avoid all of the badness booze brings to my life.....I choose to axe it from my life.
Good luck and blessings to all on this site, I read posts all of the time and it helps when I get dumb thoughts in my mind.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
It is not so much the quantity and frequency of drinking that makes one an alcoholic but rather the progression and lack of control that puts one over the edge so to speak.
From your shared experience it looks like you have progression and lack of control. Keep in mind that it will only get worse if you do not get serious about it ASAP.
Stopping is one thing. Staying stopped is a whole new ball game. 12 step programs start with abstinence and go on to treat root causes (anxiety, frustration, guilt & despair) that lead us need to drink in the first place.
I suggest that you start looking in the "12 step" forum form more detailed advice.
From your shared experience it looks like you have progression and lack of control. Keep in mind that it will only get worse if you do not get serious about it ASAP.
Stopping is one thing. Staying stopped is a whole new ball game. 12 step programs start with abstinence and go on to treat root causes (anxiety, frustration, guilt & despair) that lead us need to drink in the first place.
I suggest that you start looking in the "12 step" forum form more detailed advice.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Western N.Y.
Posts: 595
Heavy drinking will not only take everything back, that you might think it helped you accomplish, It will destroy you from the inside out. My Father was a big, strong, hard working man, that drank as ofter as he could, and still provide for his family, I didn't like him, but I respected him for who he was. The last time I saw my Father alive, he was laying in a hospital bed, with a tube coming out of his head, and I could see the blood that was draining out of his brain. If you think this can't happen to you, keep drinking and instead, maybe you will have another car accident in a blackout, where you kill someone else, or become paralyzed from the neck down, and have to have somebody else wipe your a*s for the rest of your life. I hope and pray, nothing like these real life situations ever happen to you. If you can be honest with yourself, and understand the universal law of averages, the longer you keep drinking your odd's of it happening go up, and you will have nobody else to blame for whatever happens but yourself. They say you can't scare an Alcoholic, so if you start thinking this won't happen to you, when you and your life seem to be getting better, and you do what you have always done in the past, trying to drink and control it, I can't stop you, no human power can, and we know that, but we will be here to help and support your efforts, If you really, inside, are ready to quit, not just because life got difficult again. If you are completely sick and tired of being sick an tired, and you can believe your life is not just getting difficult, but is unmanageable because of drinking, you just might have had enough, to do whatever it takes to stay stopped this time, even when the craving returns and it usually does.
Just remember you know that you can go a day without picking up a drink, just focus on doing it just for that day, don't let yourself think ahead, just stay in the day, and no matter how bad you feel, don't quit, and drink that day. You can do this if you have the resolve to do whatever it takes, because I will not bull-s*it you, this will probably be the most difficult trial you will ever face. The hardest part of this major change in your life, is you have to do it without alcohol, which was hard for me do, as I relied on it to get me through anything that took any kind of effort. I don't know if anything I said will help you to get sober, but it will help me not to pick up that first drink, just for today.
Just remember you know that you can go a day without picking up a drink, just focus on doing it just for that day, don't let yourself think ahead, just stay in the day, and no matter how bad you feel, don't quit, and drink that day. You can do this if you have the resolve to do whatever it takes, because I will not bull-s*it you, this will probably be the most difficult trial you will ever face. The hardest part of this major change in your life, is you have to do it without alcohol, which was hard for me do, as I relied on it to get me through anything that took any kind of effort. I don't know if anything I said will help you to get sober, but it will help me not to pick up that first drink, just for today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ca
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by jurneyman 
Heavy drinking will not only take everything back, that you might think it helped you accomplish, It will destroy you from the inside out. My Father was a big, strong, hard working man, that drank as ofter as he could, and still provide for his family, I didn't like him, but I respected him for who he was. The last time I saw my Father alive, he was laying in a hospital bed, with a tube coming out of his head, and I could see the blood that was draining out of his brain. If you think this can't happen to you, keep drinking and instead, maybe you will have another car accident in a blackout, where you kill someone else, or become paralyzed from the neck down, and have to have somebody else wipe your a*s for the rest of your life. I hope and pray, nothing like these real life situations ever happen to you. If you can be honest with yourself, and understand the universal law of averages, the longer you keep drinking your odd's of it happening go up, and you will have nobody else to blame for whatever happens but yourself. They say you can't scare an Alcoholic, so if you start thinking this won't happen to you, when you and your life seem to be getting better, and you do what you have always done in the past, trying to drink and control it, I can't stop you, no human power can, and we know that, but we will be here to help and support your efforts, If you really, inside, are ready to quit, not just because life got difficult again. If you are completely sick and tired of being sick an tired, and you can believe your life is not just getting difficult, but is unmanageable because of drinking, you just might have had enough, to do whatever it takes to stay stopped this time, even when the craving returns and it usually does.
Just remember you know that you can go a day without picking up a drink, just focus on doing it just for that day, don't let yourself think ahead, just stay in the day, and no matter how bad you feel, don't quit, and drink that day. You can do this if you have the resolve to do whatever it takes, because I will not bull-s*it you, this will probably be the most difficult trial you will ever face. The hardest part of this major change in your life, is you have to do it without alcohol, which was hard for me do, as I relied on it to get me through anything that took any kind of effort. I don't know if anything I said will help you to get sober, but it will help me not to pick up that first drink, just for today.
Just remember you know that you can go a day without picking up a drink, just focus on doing it just for that day, don't let yourself think ahead, just stay in the day, and no matter how bad you feel, don't quit, and drink that day. You can do this if you have the resolve to do whatever it takes, because I will not bull-s*it you, this will probably be the most difficult trial you will ever face. The hardest part of this major change in your life, is you have to do it without alcohol, which was hard for me do, as I relied on it to get me through anything that took any kind of effort. I don't know if anything I said will help you to get sober, but it will help me not to pick up that first drink, just for today.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Hang in there tjhook, keep taking it one day at a time.
Stay HONEST, with your self, if you are an alcoholic be honest with yourself about that at all times and in all thoughts about a drink.
Stay OPEN minded, do not say "I will not do that to stay sober!". Open your mind to new things, erase preconcieved ideas about things you have not done, remove prejudice about anything in you mind, stay OPEN minded about everything that has a track record helping other alcoholics to stay sober.
Remain WILLING! Stay willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober, be willing to try something you have not been willing to do before in order to not drink.
What I described above is my take on "HOW" Honesty, Open mindeness, & Willingness.
Stay HONEST, with your self, if you are an alcoholic be honest with yourself about that at all times and in all thoughts about a drink.
Stay OPEN minded, do not say "I will not do that to stay sober!". Open your mind to new things, erase preconcieved ideas about things you have not done, remove prejudice about anything in you mind, stay OPEN minded about everything that has a track record helping other alcoholics to stay sober.
Remain WILLING! Stay willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober, be willing to try something you have not been willing to do before in order to not drink.
What I described above is my take on "HOW" Honesty, Open mindeness, & Willingness.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: ca
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Tazman53
Hang in there tjhook, keep taking it one day at a time.
Stay HONEST, with your self, if you are an alcoholic be honest with yourself about that at all times and in all thoughts about a drink.
Stay OPEN minded, do not say "I will not do that to stay sober!". Open your mind to new things, erase preconcieved ideas about things you have not done, remove prejudice about anything in you mind, stay OPEN minded about everything that has a track record helping other alcoholics to stay sober.
Remain WILLING! Stay willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober, be willing to try something you have not been willing to do before in order to not drink.
What I described above is my take on "HOW" Honesty, Open mindeness, & Willingness.
Stay HONEST, with your self, if you are an alcoholic be honest with yourself about that at all times and in all thoughts about a drink.
Stay OPEN minded, do not say "I will not do that to stay sober!". Open your mind to new things, erase preconcieved ideas about things you have not done, remove prejudice about anything in you mind, stay OPEN minded about everything that has a track record helping other alcoholics to stay sober.
Remain WILLING! Stay willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober, be willing to try something you have not been willing to do before in order to not drink.
What I described above is my take on "HOW" Honesty, Open mindeness, & Willingness.
No offense to anybody on this board, and I apologize for the language but.......**** alcohol.
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