wastedtheday

I went to the doctor today and mentioned to him the fact that I've been drinking and feel like I should've just lied. He knows I have a eating disorder but, I've gained some weight.

The main reason I went was to get a higher dose of topamax. I'm currently taking 50mg he wouldn't give it to me because he was afraid about the loss of appetite. I told him it helped me not want to drink and helped with my depression and he still wouldn't.

I doubled the dose to 100mg for about a week which probably wasn't the best idea without the doctors permission but, I was trying to cut back on the drinking a little. I noticed it helped me not throw up and hallucinate. I've been vomiting blood and bile and I told him that.

I walked out of the doctors office with just 50mg and he told me to go to AA. I felt really frustrated all day just because I don't know if I can do that right now. There's a lot keeping me from caring and I think it's the way I've been treated.

I was in an abusive marriage for 8 years and my current living situation isn't good either. The few people that I feel do care I feel like I'm slowly pushing them away because of the alcohol. They don't want me to drink but for some reason it just makes me mad. I feel like there trying to contol me.

I really can't hardly think straight anymore. I don't know if it's the alcohol or the eating disorder. I feel confused a lot. I can't remember the last few weeks. I don't remember saying things doing things. I've been through so much and I feel like deep down I've kinda just given up.

I went 15 hours the other day but, it was almost like I was waiting just for another drink instead of quitting. During that time the nausea, sweating, chills were intense. I kept having nightmares every ten minutes and waking up. I saw things, heard voices, it was too much.

I don't know what to do. I just need I guess to rant.

Tazman53

Wasted I am an alcoholic, I have a daughter who is anorexic and as she was going through her treatment leading to her recovery there were many similarities I noticed between alcoholism and her anorexia, the severe depression, the feeling of hopelessness, of being powerless over her problem.

I know several women in AA who also are recovering from eating disorders, actually now that I think about it there are some men as well. They all use AA for their recovery from alcoholism and OA which is a 12 step program for people with eating disorders to recover from thier eating disorders.

I would strongly urge you to ask your doctor for a referal to a doctor who specializes in alcoholism and drug addiction. I would also encourage you to follow the suggestions of your doctors if you want the pain to stop and to begin recovery.

BTW ranting is a good thing as long as no one gets hurt and this is a great place to rant because you can get support and understanding as you rant!! LOL

CarolD

I am so sorry you are dealing with such upsetting matters.
Have you considered going to a treatment center?

Prayers coming your way

nandm

Welcome to SR :ghug2

I do not have an eating disorder, my sister does, but I do take medications for mental health issues. I know that when I was still drinking the medications I took were considerably less effective in fact some of them wouldn't work at all. Since I have been sober I have found the medications do what they are supposed to do, make my quality of life better.

I use A.A. for my alcoholism. It has provided me with a solution to the obsession/cravings to drink. Your doctor was wise to suggest a program of recovery. Would it hurt anything to go to just one meeting? It might be worth the try. To find a meeting in your area look in the phone book and call the A.A. hotline. They will be able to answer your questions as well as help you get to a meeting.

Take care and I wish you the best in your recovery.

tennis71

Welcome to SR and sorry to hear about your situation.

I had a Dr. suggest AA to me once. I didn't pay much attention at the time but now I see what he was trying to do. You see, I was in the hospital after totaling my car in an alcohol induced blackout. Drinking and prescription meds do not mix well for many reasons, mine made me black out once I got to a certain number of drinks. I don't remember the accident and woke up in the hospital. The last thing I remember before leaving was the Dr. talking to me and telling me that I had an incredibly high blood alcohol level and was still able to maintain a conversation. He suggested 2 things which I now take to heart - 1. stop drinking or you will die, and 2. go to AA.

He could not treat my alcoholism but he helped me find the rooms of AA and for that I am grateful. I have relapsed several times since, but if I hadn't started the program, I would have been drinking non stop since and would be in a much worse spot than I am now.

I am not saying that AA is the end all be all of recovery, but you should heed the Dr's advice and work on sobriety. I doubt that alcohol is making your life any better.

Thanks for sharing and I hope that you make a decision that is healthy for you. If you do decide that you want to quit, I would talk to the Dr. again and let them know.

tommyk

It is frustrating for doctors to prescribe medications knowing the patient will mix the meds with alcohol.

Listen to the doctor, evaluate what he is saying. They are not always right, but they are sometimes.

Stubborn1

Dear one, I do not have any knowledge of what you are going through but wanted to let you know that I care and I hope you find strength inside of yourself to know you are worth the fight. You are valuable. Much love