soberdude70

So I was doing great with sobriety, about 4 months worth. School was going great: I was focused and working hard everyday.

Then I started drinking again about 4 months ago. Things have been going downhill since then. I'm in somewhat of an interactive education model. Since I started drinking, my teachers have all had the same comments on course evaluations.

"Performs well, has knowledge of subject matter, but seems disinterested, and does not appear to try very hard, poor work ethic."

Well it's gotten bad enough that I'm most likely going to have to retake a module of my education. The last teacher basically mirrored the comments above and said he thinks I should repeat, which means I'll most likely have to.

I'm very depressed and discouraged at this. It makes me feel worthless actually. The ironic thing is that I had decided to make another run at sobriety the day before I heard the news (4 months too late, of course). My real worry is going in front of the school's review board, this is required when you repeat a module, and I'm not sure what to say in my defense. I feel that admitting to drinking as the cause of the problem would be a surefire dismissal from school.

Anyways, I'm stressed because of that and I'm not exactly sure how the repeat is going to mess with my schedule and course for graduation. This may also put a mark on my record that potential employers will see when I apply for work.

I am very motivated to learn and I want to succeed in this schooling, Needless to say I haven't made decisions in my life to show this.

I feel like I'm on the cusp of functional alcoholic/nonfunctional...you're a functional alcoholic until you're not.

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community....

Apparently you are now non functioning in regards
to your education.
Darn shame, but there it is.

Soooo...what is your plan for sobriety?
Obviously ...drinking is causing you harm.

chip

Welcome to SR, Soberdude70

How much more do you want to go down?

I hope you'll be able to get sober again. 4 months is a major accomplishment, and I'll bet you can do it again. Perhaps these difficulties in school can motivate you to get sober.

Drinking destroys lives. It can get worse...just keep drinking. You might be able to turn this around if you can quit drinking. At the very least, by getting sober, this doesn't have to get worse for you. Believe me, it can get much worse.

I destroyed my own academic career before I stopped drinking. If I got sober several years ago, I may have finished my degree and I might have a better job. This is water under the bridge. By staying sober today, I can prevent myself from screwing up other aspects of my life. School is only one thing that drinking can ruin....

I hope you'll find some support and strength here.
chip

soberdude70

I plan on never drinking again. I'm considering an AA meeting this morning. I haven't had a drink in 5 days.

I really need to get through with schooling and started in my life. Drinking cannot be a part of either of these.

Freedom1990

I'll tell you how college and drinking mixed for me. It didn't.

I am now 50 years old and finally going back to college and will be graduating with a double degree.

My sponsor told me many years ago that I would be feeling consequences of my alcoholism for a long time after I sobered up, and he was so right.

I could have been a registered nurse by 1980. Alcoholism took care of that for me!