My Dead Friends
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
in sobriety, I've said my good byes to some more dead friends:
Johnnie Walker
Jim Beam
Jack Daniels
Sam Adams
Carl Mondavi
Mr Bailey
Mmle Cointreau
Clans Glenfiddich + Glenlivet
Ron Bacardi
Jose Cuervo
the St Pauli Girl
Bud
entire families from Burgundy and Champagne regions in France and the Chiantis of Italy
I am doing well without these friends in my life today.
Johnnie Walker
Jim Beam
Jack Daniels
Sam Adams
Carl Mondavi
Mr Bailey
Mmle Cointreau
Clans Glenfiddich + Glenlivet
Ron Bacardi
Jose Cuervo
the St Pauli Girl
Bud
entire families from Burgundy and Champagne regions in France and the Chiantis of Italy
I am doing well without these friends in my life today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 51
Wow....thank you everyone for those SOBERING posts! Just as sad: those we know now who "but for the grace of God" will be added to that roll call...
I could especially ditto this post: Yes! I was there too!
Thank you Jesus for saving me out of all that deadly self indulgence!
"There is a way that seems right unto a man, but the end thereof is the way of death."
Have a great sober summer!
Paul
I could especially ditto this post:
I have not in lived in my home town in many years. I"m sure I have lost many friends from drugs and alcohol. Funny how I think back to 70's, it was all about Love, bell bottoms, peace signs, smokin weed n trippin... but it really took its toll on many of us!
Thank you Jesus for saving me out of all that deadly self indulgence!
"There is a way that seems right unto a man, but the end thereof is the way of death."
Have a great sober summer!
Paul
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 184
What a great post. I've been at a very low point in my recovery lately, full of self pity and stuff, and this post puts it all in perspective to me. It's funny, when I first got sober I just naturally assumed that if you did A and B you got C; now almost 7 years later I see that's not true at all. Many people die in this disease, before they find AA/12-step, maybe they've rejected 12 step, maybe relapsed. I have a few:
Denise, 52, never found recovery, very successful, but had a pill for every ill and drank. Never woke up one morning last October.
My grandad Rupert, never met him, died drunk in the gutter during the great depression (1926). Was previously rich and successful.
A girl in my local AA relapsed after 10 years sobriety, lost all she had built up including a business, home, husband, 2 children. Was indigent living in her car for awhile, finally ended it all by jumping off a highway overpass.
Another girl in local AA relapsed and developed a medical condition that she ignored that eventually killed her. Her husband went out and relapsed and her children are being cared for by some homegroup members.
Denise, 52, never found recovery, very successful, but had a pill for every ill and drank. Never woke up one morning last October.
My grandad Rupert, never met him, died drunk in the gutter during the great depression (1926). Was previously rich and successful.
A girl in my local AA relapsed after 10 years sobriety, lost all she had built up including a business, home, husband, 2 children. Was indigent living in her car for awhile, finally ended it all by jumping off a highway overpass.
Another girl in local AA relapsed and developed a medical condition that she ignored that eventually killed her. Her husband went out and relapsed and her children are being cared for by some homegroup members.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
July 4 2001 my friend Rhiannon was thrown from a vehicle being driven by a drunk male friend. She died instantly. She was 19 years old.
July 21, 2004 on her 21st birthday my friend Kristen was riding in a car with a male friend who had too much to drink. They hit a utility truck on State Ave. going 100 mph. She was killed but not instantly. She was supposed to come over to our house that night to celebrate her birthday but said she had a chance to go on a date with this new guy and would I mind? No of course I didn't mind then, I do now.
Two extremely intelligent strong young women who both made the mistake of getting into the car with the wrong guy. It is only by the grace of God that I survived my 20's, I am just sorry that they did not. I still think about them all the time, especially during the month of July.
July 21, 2004 on her 21st birthday my friend Kristen was riding in a car with a male friend who had too much to drink. They hit a utility truck on State Ave. going 100 mph. She was killed but not instantly. She was supposed to come over to our house that night to celebrate her birthday but said she had a chance to go on a date with this new guy and would I mind? No of course I didn't mind then, I do now.
Two extremely intelligent strong young women who both made the mistake of getting into the car with the wrong guy. It is only by the grace of God that I survived my 20's, I am just sorry that they did not. I still think about them all the time, especially during the month of July.
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Can I add one?
My mother, Patricia. Fell into a coma in August of 1997 from liver failure. Died at 57 years old, September 25, 1997, after our family turned off life support.
I would like to think that she would be very happy and proud for me today.
A constant reminder....
My mother, Patricia. Fell into a coma in August of 1997 from liver failure. Died at 57 years old, September 25, 1997, after our family turned off life support.
I would like to think that she would be very happy and proud for me today.
A constant reminder....
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Thanks for this, Carol -
sometimes we get to joking around and it's only to forget for a minute that this is a progressive fatal condition. Period. End of debate.
The first year I trended bar in butte - The bar hosted eleven wakes.
My first 90 days of sobriety - seven of my customers died in one way onr another of alcohol.
Total - thirty people.
WHen youre behind the bar- your 'friend' circle of aquaintence expands componentially. But it's still just as dead as an associate or the child of someone you do business with.
Notice I didn't mention any family members.
Or any of the people I knew in the Fellowship.
It just can't get any more real than this.
sometimes we get to joking around and it's only to forget for a minute that this is a progressive fatal condition. Period. End of debate.
The first year I trended bar in butte - The bar hosted eleven wakes.
My first 90 days of sobriety - seven of my customers died in one way onr another of alcohol.
Total - thirty people.
WHen youre behind the bar- your 'friend' circle of aquaintence expands componentially. But it's still just as dead as an associate or the child of someone you do business with.
Notice I didn't mention any family members.
Or any of the people I knew in the Fellowship.
It just can't get any more real than this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
Thanks for this thread.
I read it a couple days ago and I thought to myself that I was lucky that I had not known anyone from recovery that had died yet, of course I've only been around for a couple months.
Today it changed. I got to my home group and found one of the members committed suicide last night. He was the first person to welcome me to AA after I picked up my first chip. He was a really upstanding guy, always would help others, and I always enjoyed hearing what he had to share.
I read it a couple days ago and I thought to myself that I was lucky that I had not known anyone from recovery that had died yet, of course I've only been around for a couple months.
Today it changed. I got to my home group and found one of the members committed suicide last night. He was the first person to welcome me to AA after I picked up my first chip. He was a really upstanding guy, always would help others, and I always enjoyed hearing what he had to share.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Hereford, UK
Posts: 87
Until I came into AA, I didn't realise alcoholism was such a killer -- now I have been to several funerals and heard about many deaths, horrible alcoholic deaths, people who didn;t realise alcohol was going to kill them long before they felt ready to die. And then there are the suicides, those who had lost everything and could not stop drinking no matter how they tried.
One day at a time, in gratitude
Mala
One day at a time, in gratitude
Mala
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I so appreciate the 81 SR members
who took the time to use the Thank You button.
A special
to the members
who added their thoughts and losses.
Yes! we can and do recover!
who took the time to use the Thank You button.
A special
to the members who added their thoughts and losses.
Yes! we can and do recover!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 184
Well, I have another to add to this list.
I began Intensive Outpatient Treatment on Monday to get all the pills out of my life and back to full sobriety. It's been really tough lately.
Then I asked my counselor about a person who was in this treatment with me back in April the first time I started (had to discontinue due to long, severe acute withdrawals).
Ben, 28, of Seattle, died of an overdose of pills and alcohol on May 25, 2008. He had just completed the I.O.P. treatment in early May and was in Phase II.
He was such a nice kid, but he needed to be in a year long lockdown rehab facility. I knew this at the time. A month of outpatient treatment just wasn't going to do this for the guy. I wish I would've told him that. It probably wouldn't have changed his mind, but I wish I would've said it anyway.
His mother called my counselor and let her know what had happened, and thanked her for having her son back for a few weeks. This is really sad.
I began Intensive Outpatient Treatment on Monday to get all the pills out of my life and back to full sobriety. It's been really tough lately.
Then I asked my counselor about a person who was in this treatment with me back in April the first time I started (had to discontinue due to long, severe acute withdrawals).
Ben, 28, of Seattle, died of an overdose of pills and alcohol on May 25, 2008. He had just completed the I.O.P. treatment in early May and was in Phase II.
He was such a nice kid, but he needed to be in a year long lockdown rehab facility. I knew this at the time. A month of outpatient treatment just wasn't going to do this for the guy. I wish I would've told him that. It probably wouldn't have changed his mind, but I wish I would've said it anyway.
His mother called my counselor and let her know what had happened, and thanked her for having her son back for a few weeks. This is really sad.
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