I have always been preparing for this...
ever closer...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 361
I have always been preparing for this...
My whole family is alcoholic. I remember going to my Grandmothers (that's what we had to call her) house and having to call my Mom to pick me up cuz she was drunk. Sneaking cigareetes from my other grandmas linen drawer, they were right next to the vodka. My mom passed out on the stairs, my Dad drinking beer. Huge family holiday fights between my aunts, uncles etc....
Some of my family got sober, some didn't. My parents have been sober with AA since I was about 12. We have always had an open relationship about drinking.
So 4 years ago when I told my mom I was an alcoholic she was very supportive but told me in honestly that I probably wasn't there yet. She offered to go to meetings with me and help in anyway.
Well I was dry for about 3 months but never really took it seriously.
I started drinking again and picked up right were I had left off....
Well imagine that My Mom was Right
So now at 30+ days I feel like I have had a lifetime to prepare for this. I wasn't blindsided like so many. I never denied I was an alcoholic, I always knew one day it would catch up with me.
So having this knowledge has helped me. Once I lost the battle and slipped to the alcoholic side I know there is no turning back.
I walked into AA with step one well done!!
Thanks for listening! Jen
Some of my family got sober, some didn't. My parents have been sober with AA since I was about 12. We have always had an open relationship about drinking.
So 4 years ago when I told my mom I was an alcoholic she was very supportive but told me in honestly that I probably wasn't there yet. She offered to go to meetings with me and help in anyway.
Well I was dry for about 3 months but never really took it seriously.
I started drinking again and picked up right were I had left off....
Well imagine that My Mom was Right
So now at 30+ days I feel like I have had a lifetime to prepare for this. I wasn't blindsided like so many. I never denied I was an alcoholic, I always knew one day it would catch up with me.
So having this knowledge has helped me. Once I lost the battle and slipped to the alcoholic side I know there is no turning back.
I walked into AA with step one well done!!
Thanks for listening! Jen
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,002
That's great that your parents are in the program. I can imagine if my mom was an alcoholic and in AA. I could hear her say. Now Tom, did you call your sponsor today? Make sure you wash behind your ears and do a 10th step. LOL!
Great post. It just made my day.
Tom
Great post. It just made my day.
Tom
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Thank you Jen, here I sit at work with a big grin on my face just to see someone else get it is a miracle!!!! Congrats!!!!
Tom that is classic!! Did she ask you how your amends were going? LOL
Tom
Now Tom, did you call your sponsor today? Make sure you wash behind your ears and do a 10th step. LOL!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: FL
Posts: 47
Jen,
Thank you for sharing! I have only been given the gift recently of fully understanding what alcoholism is....including the "science" of it. I guess I have come to believe that first, no matter whether you ever drink, that perhaps you either are an alcoholic or not. I think it's why it progresses as it's fed and why some can drink and not take to it like a duck to water as I feel most alcoholics do. I think perhaps it's just then a matter of degrees (the stages) and certainly some will never feed the disease to the point that they reach their full "potential" but the potential is there if you are an alcoholic. You clearly knew you could be, probably before you began drinking thanks to your understanding of it. Many of us have the thought that an alcoholic is just some bum who can't put the bottle down and that is SO far from the truth it isn't funny. I am blessed because I also "got it" but not until 40. I now have the ability to talk to my children and teach them about the disease as I know either or both of my beautiful teenage boys may BE a potential alcoholic. For me, realizing how alcoholism progresses and "works" is like accepting any other disease and so the treatment is clear, that no alcohol is an acceptable amount to drink. I pray to God that I can give my kids the tools they need to face this potential demon and be able to recognize early on if they try alcohol, whether it seems just a little too "comfortable" for them, that they may as well move right to step one ASAP and live without it.
I'm sorry to ramble....I'm just at day 44 and reading "Under the Influence" and trying to come up with the best ways to help my family understand what I'm going through and the disease itself. It's hard because certainly alcoholism carries such a huge stigma that most of us probably bought into until we finally "got it"!
Thank you SO very much for sharing and I am so happy for you, I think the very key to beating this is "getting it"!!!
Karen
Thank you for sharing! I have only been given the gift recently of fully understanding what alcoholism is....including the "science" of it. I guess I have come to believe that first, no matter whether you ever drink, that perhaps you either are an alcoholic or not. I think it's why it progresses as it's fed and why some can drink and not take to it like a duck to water as I feel most alcoholics do. I think perhaps it's just then a matter of degrees (the stages) and certainly some will never feed the disease to the point that they reach their full "potential" but the potential is there if you are an alcoholic. You clearly knew you could be, probably before you began drinking thanks to your understanding of it. Many of us have the thought that an alcoholic is just some bum who can't put the bottle down and that is SO far from the truth it isn't funny. I am blessed because I also "got it" but not until 40. I now have the ability to talk to my children and teach them about the disease as I know either or both of my beautiful teenage boys may BE a potential alcoholic. For me, realizing how alcoholism progresses and "works" is like accepting any other disease and so the treatment is clear, that no alcohol is an acceptable amount to drink. I pray to God that I can give my kids the tools they need to face this potential demon and be able to recognize early on if they try alcohol, whether it seems just a little too "comfortable" for them, that they may as well move right to step one ASAP and live without it.
I'm sorry to ramble....I'm just at day 44 and reading "Under the Influence" and trying to come up with the best ways to help my family understand what I'm going through and the disease itself. It's hard because certainly alcoholism carries such a huge stigma that most of us probably bought into until we finally "got it"!
Thank you SO very much for sharing and I am so happy for you, I think the very key to beating this is "getting it"!!!
Karen
ever closer...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 361
Karen, I am 39 and just knew I couldn't keep my life if I kept my drinking habit any longer. I once read that children with 2 alcoholic parents had an 85% chance of being alcoholic themselves. I wish I could have skipped the steps of drinking to excess for the past 20+ years and then black outs for the past 2 but I believe that I needed to follow that path to get to where I am now. Imagine if we could shelter our kids from everything that would hurt them...it would be nice for us but they would miss out on so much and probably not grow spirtually and emotionally the way they needed too. With all I knew about alcohol I still had to make my own path as stupid as it might have been.
Something about...what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
Something about...what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: FL
Posts: 47
Jen,
I agree on the path....I have had SO much turmoil in my life the past 6 years or so (um, that's how long I've known my husband...) and my drinking career went from being a social binger (ie, I always drank to excess but it wasn't initially the sort of drinking you might think is a problem, until you know about the stages of alcoholism, as I now do) to constantly numbing myself because I didn't have the tools to handle things. I am THANKFUL for it all because I am on the other side of it now. There were a good 3 years that I don't think a day went by that I didn't cry. I knew it wasn't right, but no tools. Just alcohol. Anyway, I am able to teach my children alot about coping with difficult people and to alert them to the dangers they may face in dealing with alcohol, especially since they very well could be genetically predisposed to alcoholism. I can't shield them, and they will have to make their own choices, but knowing what I know now means I can explain things to them that may cause a lightbulb to go off if and when they choose to allow alcohol into their lives. Understanding the phases of alcoholism sure would have perhaps gotten me here faster, but again, I'm grateful for it all because at 40, I have some mad skills that I never would have gotten otherwise. I hope to share them and teach some of them to my kids.
Hope you're doing well!
Peace,
Karen
I agree on the path....I have had SO much turmoil in my life the past 6 years or so (um, that's how long I've known my husband...) and my drinking career went from being a social binger (ie, I always drank to excess but it wasn't initially the sort of drinking you might think is a problem, until you know about the stages of alcoholism, as I now do) to constantly numbing myself because I didn't have the tools to handle things. I am THANKFUL for it all because I am on the other side of it now. There were a good 3 years that I don't think a day went by that I didn't cry. I knew it wasn't right, but no tools. Just alcohol. Anyway, I am able to teach my children alot about coping with difficult people and to alert them to the dangers they may face in dealing with alcohol, especially since they very well could be genetically predisposed to alcoholism. I can't shield them, and they will have to make their own choices, but knowing what I know now means I can explain things to them that may cause a lightbulb to go off if and when they choose to allow alcohol into their lives. Understanding the phases of alcoholism sure would have perhaps gotten me here faster, but again, I'm grateful for it all because at 40, I have some mad skills that I never would have gotten otherwise. I hope to share them and teach some of them to my kids.
Hope you're doing well!
Peace,
Karen
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