sunrise1

Isn't that what we would say as kids when something didn't work our way? "I call a do-over!" Well, I am doing that with my sobriety today. Only - this is not a kid's game, it's my life and I'm screwing it up pretty badly.

I have been drinking every night, and last few months I've been having "nightly nightcaps", and finally, in the last few weeks, sneaking slugs of booze when I think DH is not looking. Like, picking up ye olde bottle of Capt. Morgan and taking a gulp, then quietly putting it back and going about the evening.

I don't know if he even knows about that part, but he was finally able to articulate my drinking problem yesterday and how it's affecting him and us.

I want this to be the last do- over.

Sugah

Good news is, so long as you're breathing, you can have a do-over of sorts. Bad news is, if you do it the exact same way, you get the exact same results.

I'm sure you've heard the Einstein quote: Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

What do you plan to do differently - besides, of course, just not drinking?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

CarolD

Good to see you here with us again...

What is your new plan?

serenityqueen

I'm glad you're back with us. Just remember, not everyone gets a "do over"

I hope you'll continue to be honest with yourself and set up a plan of Recovery.

We're here for you.

God Bless,
Judy

Signal30

If you keep doing it, it will be done. Just do your best at staying sober, and staying sober is what you will do. Just do it. Trying to be sober, to me, is another word for "I'll see what happens and I hope it works out." Half measures avail nothing.

Yeah it really is that simple. We just tend to make it harder than it actually is.

A few weeks ago I was hiking, and I had to grab a notch on a sandstone cliff, and put my foot in a rounded out hole. I was about 40 feet up already and the only way further was to hoist myself up to the next level then I could simply walk up the rest of it. The longer I stared at the cliff I needed to climb, the more fear and hesitation built up. All this time I was fiddling around trying to find the best way (or easier way) to get up. There was no easier way. I knew it, my hiking buddies knew it, yet I was still trying to find the "easier and softer way", and there wasn't any.

Finally, I sucked up, and just did it. It took a fraction of a second to climb it and I was once again on my way and reached the top. When I took my personal risk, overcame my fear, and just did it, this was my reward...






Seeing God's work from a birds point of view. Sobriety and maintaining it is not too different. We are hesitant to change, we fear the unknown, and we fear doing it another way other than our own way. My way kept failing over and over again. It's taking a deep breath and simply doing it. Doing something different we are not used to and are afraid to do. Once breaking the seal and following through, the rewards are amazing. Every day for me sober is like climbing another cliff and enjoying the benefits.

Life can be good when we are willing to do something to make it that way.


Tom

Rimmy

Break the cycle before it breaks you. I had too many do overs to count... I am happier now than ever. Keep your family close and the dialogue with them open. It will help.

Best wishes.

Tazman53

My do overs working the "My Way" program for 10 years damn near killed me. Working the "My Way" program over and over again led to me having no choice but drinking every day just to be able to function.

Once I hit the point where I was willing to admit working the "My Way" program over and over again was not going to work, I finally was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober that worked for other people!!!!

I chose the program of AA and it worked for me because I worked it thier way, not My Way, I was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober.

If "Your Way" is not working, it may be time to try another way!!! AA, SMART, WFS, any way that has worked for other people, just be willing to work it no matter what program you choose.

No program will work unless you work it, all programs will work if you work them!

RufusACanal

sunrise1 welcome back! Sneaking booze is telling, at least to me it is. In a world where freedoms are usually taken for granted, we drunks sneak around and drink...insane right?
As those who wrote before have shared, you need a plan; one with maybe a tad less humor and a bit more seriousness, just a suggestion of course. Unless your partner drinks like you, of course they know. Rather hard to hide a slug of Captian Morgan repeatedly through the night. Your nose may have gone south, but I doubt your partners has.

So what options to do have and what level of priority will you give this change? Does not sound from your brief description that you drink like your peers so a complete life change might be in order. This change is only limited by your ego so feel free to give it all. Oh and you might ask God to tag along, just a thought.

Will be sitting here looking to get an update on your decisions, actions and results. Keep your head up and best to you.

sunrise1

Thank you all for your input. I am still trying to figure out what exactly my plan might be... I attended some AA meetings in the summer and I just didn't like them. I went to quite a few different ones, and just feel that it's not for me.

Can someone tell me about other programs? I'm aware that doing this alone could be the second dumbest thing I would try in my life.

I am grateful for you all,
sunrise

Rimmy

I did it my way for 3 years and it didn't work. Until I did a lot of reading. I read about meditation to slow down the 100 voices in my head. I never attended a meeting but I read The Big Book (well, a lot of it) and got an awareness that I could stop. But until I allowed myself some real sober time (hadn't had more than a few days in many many many many years), I didn't get it. But the concepts and understanding of myself not being the center of and cause of everything enlightened me and I did get sober for a while... I got a peek at the other side.

Although I relapsed once more, I quickly wanted back on this side of the fence. Get sober and stay sober for a little while and get one with the world, so to speak. Let go of the stresses if you can. Man, I sound like a hippie... lol.

Anyway, there is more peace on the sober side of the fence, but it's more than just "not drinking", at least it was for me. I had to re-invent my goals and opinions. I had to change for the better, not just get better.

I hope my little rant helps you. The first thing you will feel is happy that you are not sneaking... that alone makes you feel better than a drink ever will.

RufusACanal

Sorry to hear that you don't like AA sunrise1, though it is the truest way to freedom from booze I know. No one likes AA when they first go to meetings, my God, you are dealing with feelings, sensations and people without booze talking about booze. If booze is a problem in life, then maybe looking at AA as a means to an end would serve better, than your current thoughts. Did you think this would be easy? Do you have a relationship with something greater than you? Like God maybe? How important is it to you to change your life? Your options are few whether you believe or not. Why not go to a meeting tonight or tomorrow? Listen and look for women who have had new lives not drinking for several years and find out where they go to meetings. Hang around these ladies and do what they do. Who know, you just might find your answers!

Best to you@

nandm

At the top of the alcoholism forum there is a thread titled "Recovery programs". You might find this useful in exploring other options besides AA.

Tazman53

AA has been the only program I have worked because I need that face to face to be able to tell when someone is blowing smoke or telling the truth so I can not comment on other programs really. WFS (Women For Sobriety) I have heard works well for some folks, there is a lady who post here on occasion that uses it and seems as though she has her act together, maybe you could check them out.

For me I doubt very seriously I could have stayed sober without AA and its 12 steps, but there are other programs that work if you work them.

For me one of the primary reasons AA works for me is the laughter, the smiles, the friendship, the ability to go out with sober people and do fun things together sober, helping other alcoholics to find sobriety and to stay sober, the love in the rooms.

That face to face knowing that I am not alone.

problemchild

sunrise1, very familiar with the do-over and i am sure there is a limited bag of do-over charms, for me i think mine are all used up. Gotta ask yourself how many mulligans you get before you are asked to leave the tee box, try something diffrent this time and hopefully the cycle will stop..

Take care,
John

sunrise1

Well- I may give a meeting another shot. In the meanwhile, I am looking into the other programs recommended... I do have one or two people I can call if I need to.

On another forum I was mentioning how incredible it feels to wake without a headache, hangover, or guilt... I was getting ready to say "oh, if only I could bottle this feeling"...

Turns out that's what I've been trying to do for some time now.

Thank you for your continued contact... it helps unbelievably.