PaulL

Good morning folks.

As I approach the 1 month mark (this coming weekend) of my sobriety, I am wondering what others do in the way of volunteering and giving back to their community. I would love to hear.

In my mind, I can think of Church work, civic work, child/school related volunteering, visiting old folks homes...etc.

What are some of you doing (or are hoping to do) in this cornerstone of recovery?

Thanks,
Paul

Tazman53

Paul right now I am still spending my time making amends to my family by focusing on being a father and a husband in addition to helping other alcoholics. My wife and I have spoken about either volunterring at a nursing home or a homeless shelter.

This is an excellent topic and something that can be a very rewarding part of someones recovery, helping others helps us take the focus of of us being the center of the universe.

Rimmy

Good topic...

I am so busy with work and life that I have little time to offer to the world other than not drinking. But I get satisfaction from little things. I live on a corner with a rare section of woods accross the street (Long Island living) and instead of people seeing a nice patch of woods, they see a spot that isn't someone's property and dispose of their coffee cups, McDonalds, Wendys, and of course their empty beer cans and bottles. I try to keep that section of my neighborhood clean and it is refreshing.

Astro

Hello Paul and welcome to SR.

After I'd finished my first trip through the 12 Steps and started making my amends I immersed myself in service work, chairing meetings and reaching out to other alcoholics. I still stay busy in the program, serving on my club's Board Of Directors and doing anything that's available to help out. It might seem strange, but the service work I enjoy most is taking out the trash, cleaning ashcans, and wiping down tables and chairs. Anything that's quiet, humble service works best for me.

But what I've also learned is that anything that keeps my mind off my addiction and focused on helping someone else is service. It might be helping an elderly person load groceries into their car, holding the door open for someone, coaching a kids sports team, helping out at church. Tomorrow night I've volunteered to work in the snack bar at my son's Little League field. Anything, as long as it ain't all about me , can be service.

Good luck in your endeavors!

Rimmy

yeah, it's the little things. I'm learning to forgive the idiots that don't hold doors. I used to make under the breath comments or get pissed when people didn't hold them (if I always hold doors for others, they should hold them for me attitude). Now, whatever. I know I'm doing what I can to help people and not all people are respectful in return... But they might have a reason. Perhaps they have a kid in the hospital (I know I cut a lot of people off driving back and forth in the past), or are late for a job interview, or whatever.

I'm done assuming the worst in everyone. Still cautious of course, but not blindly assuming. This has made a lot of my hate go away.

least

THe only thing I can really afford to do right now, and something I love doing anyway, is feeding the stray kitties in my neighborhood. I've got a feeding station under a table in the back yard and seven little straw lined shelters (with catnip to entice them in!) in the window wells and on my porch.

I get a lot of pleasure from just knowing they have food and water and a safe warm place to sleep.

That's 'feline-community' service!:rof

but it matters to the felines!

Jomey

HI Paul - I volunteer a food pantry, a soup kitchen and a home for teenage mothers. At the food pantry, I babysit the kids who come with their parents while their parents fill out papers, get their groceries, etc. At the soup kitchen, we actually prepare and serve hot meals, and at the shelter, I mind the babies while their mothers take classes to finish high school. I am also looking in to volunteering on a farm that provides therapeutic horseback riding lessons to physically and mentally challenged folks. It's all so rewarding, I couldn't pick my favorite, but I suppose I like the food pantry and soup kitchen because my husband and sons come with me and it makes me very happy to see my little boys learning the value of giving at such an early age.

Hope you find something that appeals to you - not sure where you are located, but if in the US, try your church, as you mentioned, or United Way, Red Cross or Salvation Army for ideas...even local libraries and museums and hospitals are looking for volunteers usually as well.

Great thread!

Signal30

I heard once at a meeting a fellow member say. A true example of humility, is do something nice for someone and not tell anyone.

Sounds harder than it actually is. I'm such a alcoholic! lol.

I do my best to offer my hand when help is needed whatever that help actually is. I do my best to fight off my laziness and stomp out the ego because I know my maximum service to others plays a big part in my recovery. It's the good and right thing to do aka Gods Will.


Tom

Sugah

Being on a college campus for the past four years, I don't have to look far for opportunities. I'll be headed to another university this fall, so already I'm putting feelers out. My suggestion is to find something you feel strongly about and ask around about opportunities to help. As a single mother who received a lot of help from some local charities (clothing to go back to work at one point, food pantry help, etc), one of the first things I did before I was physically able to do much and even less financially capable, I sorted through my clothes and my children's, bagging up all the good stuff and making sure it got to certain charities that had helped me out. These days, my efforts go towards domestic and sexual violence, as well as any charity or organization that helps the kids of the community.

Look around. There are many things, small and not so small depending upon your time and abilities.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

CarolD

Hmm...
These days I stay busy with my AA commitments.

...Today I scrubbed out our refrigerator
before the noon meeting.

I try to live by The Golden Rule.

barb dwyer

offer to help with the daycare at your Alano club (if that applies)

Meals on wheels is alomst always in need of delivery help -
they also 'parcel out' routes in areas - like near your home..
they USED to do that by the month.

become a reading tutor.
for adults.

help at the library -
clean up the alleys around your house (if that's safe to do)
put together a neighborhood watch.

let cars ahead of you ... merge.

PaulL

Thanks everyone for your feedback.

In addition to quitting drinking, in the next 5 months I am looking at retirement and relocation. That's a huge change both in lifestyle and geography.

Being by nature introverted and reflective, alcohol has served well to make me overly self-involved, self-centered. So, I am trying to picture giving time and energy to others in my soon to come "next chapter of life". Without a 40 hr/week job, I'll have no excuse!

Your examples help me picture possibilities.

Thanks
Paul

Tazman53

Paul you didn't mention you were getting ready to retire, man that opens up a ton of volunteer work, depending upon your interest you could volunteer to do more then you ever dreamed of!

Schools, Hospitals, Animal rescue places, Historical sites, Ecology orgs, the list goes on and on.

Go to google and search on what you like and are interested in followed by volunteers, I bet you will find more then enough to keep you busy and happy!

RufusACanal

"I heard once at a meeting a fellow member say. A true example of humility, is do something nice for someone and not tell anyone."

...could not be better said.

sugErspun

My mother gave me a box of books to give to my father recently (they are going through divorce and I often act as middleman to pass goods) - anyhow there was a book in there called something like - There Is A Place Where You Are Not Alone - by Hugh Prather. Now I know Hugh Prather and his book 'Notes to myself' - which I found incredibly insightful on his part - and I have only read a couple of chapters in this new discovery but - he has a breakdown of all his time doing things and allots certain percentage of his time for:

"Doing kind things for people without their knowledge that the action is being performed."

Seems to be along those same lines Ruf...

Tazman53

You know that reminded me about a sports celebrity that died in 2001, the man seemed a bit self centered, some what cocky, yet aloof, not a bad guy for the most part. ANy how after his death word got out that this man was notorious for grabbing a freind who was over for what was refered to as "Mid night runs". Sworn to secrecy what would happen is this guy would have his friend drive him to some ones house where he would stick money in through the mail slot of thier front door and then take off. This guy knew through the rumor mill that these folks were about to have thier house foreclosed on or thier car repopped and he would help them out anonymously.

FInding this out made the man a hero of sorts in my eyes. So may other celebs call in the press and very publicily say "Look how much money I give to charity" and then bask in the glory, this man did it in the spirit of true charity, families benefitted from his actions yet no one knew who it was or why.

barb dwyer

if you have a god enoghhretirement - you could hitch up the traiiler and vounteer to host at a state campground someplace ...preferrably someplace scenic and remote (for meanyhow) all summer - inthe woods ...
I'd LOVE to be able to do that.

Signal30

Me to barb, me to. I have been recently contributing to helping the environment. When I go out on day hikes, I pack a garbage bag in my backpack and pick up trash when I see it.

And helping with childcare is a FANTASTIC way to do some service work. Mommies and daddies need meetings too, and simply volunteering to entertain a child so mom or dad can get in a meeting is great. You don't have to be at a AA clubhouse to do it. Simply taking the child aside in another room, or running around outside with them at any meeting can be the break a parent needs to get them through.

Of course you have to be trusted to do it. I personally would be a little hesitant if someone offered unless I knew him or her in the fellowship.



Tom

PaulL

Hey Barb, Great idea coming from Big Sky country! :-) I lived in Bozeman years ago, so I can see how you'd feel that way. I still do too!

While I appreciate all the comments about giving "secretly", that certainly has a place, I thought that it would also be good for all of us if others could lift the veil of their secrecy and share how giving back has helped them in recovery.

That might serve to emphasize how important service is for a healthy state of mind. I know I REALLY need to grow in this area.