Rimmy

Can anyone recommend some good reading or advice on how to lift yourself spiritually. Not necessarily going to church, but seeing more of life. I have so much good in my life and I wake up unhappy every day. I have to work to be happy. I assume this has to do with not drinking, so I'm posting here instead of paying for counseling... lol.

I just don't get the lethargic feeling and the negative emotions... It's not who I am but I'm not shaking it. It's not entirely controlling me, but it hits really hard...

I'm forced to remember where I was and that it was worse. Ugh.

justanothrdrunk

I guy I know in AA told me this story about an answer from the Dalai Lama to a question of his a few years ago when the Lama was in the Twin Cities.

He was speaking somewhere locally and this acquaintance of mine had an opportunity to ask a question. He asked how best to improve one's spirituality (or something like that). He was expecting the Lama to answer with prayer and meditiation, but he didn't.

Instead, the Lama said that when one treats all others with love, spirituality follows. I think there was something else in there about also being useful to others. I don't recall exactly since it's been a while since I heard the story, but it was something along those lines.

Love others and help them whenever you can.

tkdan

Hey Rimmy, I can relate. I battle this also. Often time I'll look back at what I was aggrivated about and realize the reasons were so insignificant. I can sit and think of how all the positives by far out-weigh the negatives but that does not matter once I get in that unhappy fram of mind. Weekends are especially tough. Sometimes I can not control whether or not I'm happy. The only hope I can offer is I've noticed it starting to lessen with time. My weekends are not bad from Friday evening to Sunday night as they were early on. Now I might have one bad day a week. I guess it is all part of the process. Also it probably has a lot to do with PAWS. If you haven't read about that before it would be benefitial. I don't have the thread maybe someone will be along soon that can post it. Hang in there it gets better.

laurie6781

Excellent question Rimmy.

First of all some of what you are feeling is the 'depression' that comes when one stops drinking and it can take a while to balance out. Some even need to go on a mild anti-depressant.

Spirituality really doesn't have anything to do with 'church' in my book.

I too have listened to the Dali Lama and the Elders of my Native American heritage and slowly came up with something that really works for me and keeps me in TODAY.

Each day, just for that day, to the best of my ability (some days better than others) I practice being THOUGHTFUL, KIND, and CONSIDERATE to ALL who cross my path, and to the best of my ability I TREAT THEM AS I WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED.

Now....................................that keeps me in today, that keeps me aware of my surroundings, right down to the ants and butterflys, lol and believe it or not, it makes me feel great when I can put a smile on someone elses face.

Keep practicing it every day and it becomes easier and easier to stay in today.

Hope that helps.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

gravity

I believe that I have had times where I have my thoughts & actions were in accordance with my spiritual nature and the feeling is just incredible. Here are some resources/approaches that have helped me:

The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by Dalai Lama, Howard C. Cutler
This book is easy to read and has a common sense approach. I have given this as a gift.

The Art of Happiness

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle
I’m about ½ way through this book. To me, it’s about cutting through the ego & negative emotions and living in accordance with your spirit. I have to read it in small chunks and then think about it.

Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth



I find prayer/meditating (for me, just for short periods) to help me focus on my spiritual nature, clear away all the negative garbage that my ego is feeding me. I also find sharing & helping others in any way that I can to greatly reduce any negative thoughts.

I keep a daily journal (on my computer). Even if I have a crappy day, I try & write down all the things I have to be grateful for – health, happy kids, great job, helped someone, learned something, talked to a friend, have a home etc. It really helps to put things in perspective, gets rid of the self-pity. I almost always feel more at peace and happier.

Great thread! I'm learning new things!

Rimmy

Thanks for your thoughtful comments. It helped just to write what I was feeling, but your feedback helps way more. I think I am setting my bars too high and out of reach... so no matter what I accomplish, it's never enough... SELFISH, as if the world revolves around me anyway.

Thanks again for your input, and allowing me to use this forum to help keep me going in the right direction.

xoffender

Hi Rimmy,

I'm not entirely sure by your meaining of spiritual here. If you're looking for some good books on Christianity (and if you 're not please ignore this post :-) ) you might want to take a look at Lee Strobel's books (A Case For Christ / A Case For Faith etc) or maybe the book on the Alpha Course - I can't remember the exact title - I think it's by Nicky Gumble though. Or even going on the Alpha course itself - I found this a bit hard going as the people who ran mine were a bit heavy on believing everything they said although this was probably just the people who ran mine).

I find these books very helpful when I need a top up on faith or what is spiritial for me personally.

Thanks,

Andy

least

I've asked myself the same question a lot. I'm fighting severe depression and it's hard for me to remember the good things as the bad things seem overwhelming. I like the answer about loving all things and spirituality will follow. I am getting some good advice here. Thank you for asking this question!:ghug3

Pinkcuda

I don't read, but I listen. Beg, borrow, buy or steal some CDs from John Maxwell or Garrison Keillor.
Just listening to those two makes me feel like doing everything I can to better myself.

nandm

Change your mind and your life will follow. One of the best books for teaching you how to change your perceptions to have a happier more producting life. I have recommended it to several people all of whom thanked me afterward as it truly helped them.

The Spirituality of Imperfection Also another good book but it is more geared toward spirituality.

lovingseren

Agree with gravity.

"Happiness is a habit I will develop. Happiness is created, not waited for"

Dr Jean Kirkpatrick
Statement #3
WFS New Life Program

Seren

barb dwyer

I like the 'Daily Meditations for Women".

And someone special sends me a Tao quote every
(well, mostly... ok often) now and then
so I have it waiting on me when I get here to work.

Far as books - well, I'm on a Terry Pratchett kick -
not particularly spiritual,
but the laughter is essential for me at present.

Dean62

This is a great thread, I will be investigating all the suggestions so far.

Starting my day out with a few daily reflection books and prayer gets me up and going spiritually before I have to face the world. I have a few I enjoy, check out Joyce Meyers "Starting your day right" along with AA's daily reflections book. Page 86 in the big book starting half way down with "On awakening" through page 88 is a good way to start every morning.

I found an old book in a used book store by Lewis B. Smedes. Discovering Hope through the Gift of Grace is an amazing little known book for improving your personal spirituality. I would love to hear anyone read and give their feedback.

Chapter 4 "We agnostics is another good read.

Personally I pray every morning for the sunshine of the spirit to flow through me and then I get out of the way and accept the outcome. I find I am often depressed when things don't go my way no matter how small. I try to make plans, do the work and then knowing I have done my part I accept the outcome. I don't control it, that is Gods part, the part I turn over everyday.

Church has little to do with it for me.

Rimmy

So much great advice and references here! It's nice to hear others have combatted some of the feelings I've been having and worked through them. I think now I have some references for finding a path or outlet that will work for me. I know I don't live a balanced life. I'm working too much and not eating enough. Thinking too much about my financial future and not enough about today. I have my work cut out for me, but thanks again for everything... keep the advice coming!

22NGONE

Rimmy,

The best thing I have found is the 24hr a Day Book. It has a thought, mediation and prayer for each day of the year. I bought it at an A.A. meeting and have seen it at most. I find it to be quite profound and inspirational. I don't know how I survived without it now.

John

Rimmy

I just wanted to thank everyone again for their input. It's only fair to let you know that it has helped. I can't change overnight of course, but even reading some of the motivational quotes keeps me on the right track at least. It is reminding me of the positive potential of each day rather than grinding my teeth at all the negative. I hate to think I need to "work" at being happy, but I also hate to think I need to "work" at being sober... I guess it's just who I am and the more I work at each, the easier it will become.

So thank you all again for being there!

ken67

Rimmy,

Read my signature line.

I believe it, and I live it.

Spirituality is not religion.....every religion is solely concerned with what happens in the afterlife.
Spirituality concerns what happens here and now, today, each and every minute.
When the sun shines on my face, I feel a warm Spirit.
When the wind blows softly, I feel a calm Spirit.
When the storms rage and the lightning crashes, I feel an angry Spirit.
When I help somebody load their groceries in their car, I feel MY Spirit.

Feel the Spiritual effects in all things, all the time....watch them work around you, then let them work in you.

And always remember, the nastiest, angriest, most cunning, baffling, and powerful spirit out there is no match for all the good ones, when you find them, feel them, and talk with them and live amongst them.

problemchild

The road less traveled, Cant remember the author's name..

Tazman53

Great stuff here, thanks folks.

For me I focus on the posotive.

I look for laughter.

I look for the good in everyone, for some folks it can be hard to find, but it is there if we look.

I look for opportunities to help.

I do the next right thing and try hard not to develop expectations of what I do.

I put faith into the outcome of what I do that is not always my will, will come out the way it was meant to be and not the way I expected it to be.

I love.

I laugh.

I cry.

I am quiet and I listen.

I ask simply for the ability to do what needs to be done and nothing more.

I keep things as simple as possible.

I expect nothing in return for what I give.

I work on not being the center of the universe, simply a part of it.

gravity

M. Scott Peck. Great book! Of all things, it was a part of my Business Ethics university course! :rof

Amazon review: "By melding love, science, and religion into a primer on personal growth, M. Scott Peck launched his highly successful writing and lecturing career with this book. Even to this day, Peck remains at the forefront of spiritual psychology as a result of The Road Less Traveled. In the era of I'm OK, You're OK, Peck was courageous enough to suggest that "life is difficult" and personal growth is a "complex, arduous and lifelong task." His willingness to expose his own life stories as well as to share the intimate stories of his anonymous therapy clients creates a compelling and heartfelt narrative."