Paulos

Ever since last night I have had such trouble breathing, I can barely even read words off a screen, last night I had so much anxiety.... you know all I COULD have drank last night to get the edge off, but I did not...

CurioAndTheCat

I'll congradulate you on your fortitude and strength, but you might want to see the doctor if you really can't breathe like that.

We're proud of you!

Paulos

I think it's just anxiety from not drinking and my obesity... god I'm going crazy in thought... always thinking I'm losing my mind and can't do anything right...

Tazman53

Congrats on not drinking last night Paulos, what are you changing about yourself?

A recovery program helps one get rid of that anxiety.

Things in life become so much easier when one has people helping them.

If you had a car stuck in a ditch, would you call a tow truck to help you get it out or would you leave the car in the ditch to rust?

Paulos

Taz, thanks for being philosophical about it *scoff* but the question to that is obvious.

Paulos

I changed one thing today, I did "The Wishing Well" game in the comics today, followed the instructions, actually read them, and did it. Just can't do Sodoku.

Tazman53

Paulos why not treat your alcoholism with the same respect you give a car?

When one can not get their car out of the ditch they call a tow truck, when one can not stop drinking it is time to reach out and ask for help from a recovery program.

Texasblind

Hey Paulos, and anyone else new in sobriety like me.

Here is a link to online AA chat meetings. Helped me ease into it when I was embarrased to actually go in person. It really helped me understand the atmospher and rules before I was ready to go to a real life one. Plus, helps immensely when you get that craving first thing in the morning or late at night and don't want to leave the house.

AAOnline Guests Chat Module

Paulos

Taz you've been trying to convince me to going to AA for a year now and I keep telling you I ain't into the god thing. I'm spiritual in my own way, I've got to get off my Lamictal medication first. Also thanks to the other poster I'll try the chat.

Paulos

That AA site sucked... people were too rough on me.

Tazman53

Paulos once again you have spirituality and religion tied together when it is not.

Religion was and still is the last thing I need, I needed to get spiritual or die!

I needed to learn how to be spiritual not religous.

Lack of power, that was my dilemma. I had to find a power by which I could live, and it had to be a Power greater than me. Obviously. But where and how was I to find this Power?

AA taught me how to find that power.

Paulos once again I am not saying AA is the only way, it is not!

Once a person can admit to them selfs that they can not stop and stay stopped drinking they need to start working on a program of recovery, any program, because they have become honest enough with them selfs to realize that their way is not working.

Being honest with myself was the hardest part of getting sober. I had to quit lying to myself that I could quit my way, I couldn't!

Tazman53

What were they doing? Asking you to be honest with your self?

tellus

For what it's worth, Paulos, I was very against the "God" thing in AA. I'm doing a 90/90, and I'm getting a lot out of it. Today I have 30 days, I don't think I'd have that if I hadn't sucked it up and gone to AA.

That AAOnline site has been indispensable for me when I can't make it to a f2f meeting.

Texasblind

Really? I've never felt that way. Did you share? And if you shared, did you follow the rules? Those guys are hardcore about observing the same rules in a chatroom as they do in a face to face meeting.

Sobriety's rough.

I'm sitting here unemployed and all I want to do is drink. I beat that by exercising and sitting here on Sober Recovery all day. People are going to be judgemental and sometimes they end up in a chatroom. That's why we have to both keep our guard up online, and believe in ourselves.

Paulos

Yeah they're WAY too hardcore for me, I'm hardcore with my mouth lol. I don't sit here everyday and do nothing or exercise, I play my video games, watch my shows... and live my life, but alcoholism helps me out sometimes but I know in the long run my brain is dying from it and I'm so fogged up. I must get back into my campaign. Day 2, lol. No taz they wanted "unity in aa" and I wasn't being unifiable enough, so tough crap for them.

nandm

Paulos, AA was a last resort for me. It took coming to the realization that I could no longer go on living while drinking but knowing that I could not live without drinking. I did not choose AA because I thought it was a wonderful place to go. I chose it out of complete and utter desperation. My option was continuing the way I was going; heading toward an alcoholic death; or giving AA an honest try.

Today I am grateful that I was desperate enough to put aside my differences and go to any lenths to stop drinking even though for me that meant following the directions of AA, even though there were times when I thought "how stupid is that", "why should I have to do that?", "who are they to tell me I am wrong?".

All I can say to you Paulos, is that choosing AA for many of us was not because we liked it, we chose it because without it we were going to die a miserable death.

The program of AA saved my life, once I sobered up I was able to look back and realize the my resistance to trying AA only kept me in misery longer than I needed to be. AA not only helped me to stop drinking but it taught me how to live a happy, productive life in the process. I honestly hope you are able to find a solution to your problem.

scarly-J

Thats your problem,,....going to a website wont get you sober. You MUST attend the meetings. Also, Ive been going to AA for 4 years now. I have only heard the name "God" uttered once. The people in and around the meetings I attend are the furtherest thing from "religious". AA is nothing more than people with alcoholism coming together to help and support one another. Nothing more. Like I said, Ive been sober for 4 years. Ive been attending AA the entire time. Yet,...Ive only been to church twice in my entire life. Those two times were in grade school. So, you do NOT have to be religious or INTO religion to attend AA, because it just doesnt matter.

Paulos

Wasn't trying to get sober from the site, was simply testing the waters,... freaking AA fanatics always pushing their brutal opinions.

Zoobear

You sound like you have most of the answers.
I think you should do it your way. It seems to be working well for you so far.

nandm

Paulos, I have shared my experience with you and that experience happens to be in the form of AA was the solution to my alcohol problem. There has been no pushing of any brutal opinions on my part and as far as I see there has been none from anyone else.

When someone states they have a problem and ask for others input then people will share their experience.

I do hope you find a solution to your problem.