Signal30

The last several days I have been dreading going out of town. I leave to go out of town tonight, and get back on the 20th. It's only about 2 hours away, but the amount of fear and anxiety I have built up on this is ridicules. It's for work related training, where I have to stay in a dorm for 2 nights and share a room with someone. I must admit my lack of humility by stating that I really don't want a room mate, and would prefer to have a room to myself. I will have lots of anxiety, and it will be a pain to try to hide it while I'm in the room with someone.

Not to sound like I'm changing the subject too much but last week I went over the 4th step with the guy I sponsor. I asked my sponsor to sit in with us and both my sponsor and the guy I sponsored liked the idea. As we were going over the 4th step, my sponsor explained the three inventories that were to be done. I looked over to my sponsor puzzled, and thought three inventories? Apparently when my sponsor and myself went over the 4th step, he forgot to mention the two other inventories Fear, and Sex Relations.

I was a tad peeved at my sponsor at first, then I realized that if I would of paid more attention on how to do the 4th step, I would of figured out that I need to do three of them. I so far have only done resentment inventories.

Then I thought maybe this is God giving me an opportunity to make time to do the other two inventories. I will have a lot of down time between training, and should have plenty of time to do my Fear and Sex Relations inventories. There should be areas where I can be by myself to do them. Perhaps this is God doing for me what I cannot do for myself.

Anyway, I believe I am spiritually fit enough to be able to do this without even the thought of drinking. I have found a meeting in the area to go to. If some of would you would be so kind to give a small prayer for me it will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


Tom

sugErspun

Consider it done (the prayer)


btw - the fear inventory opened me up more than any other part of my fourth step..really shows me where I fail to rely on God and use selfishness and self-centeredness to build fear ("compare it to stealing...")

all the best.

1963comet

Sure:praying

mike_mass

Hang tough...you are in my prayers :Weightlif

nandm

You are going to do great, I know your HP will be right there with you. I bet you find the hardest thing is being away from your wife and son for the weekend. With a cutie like him that is what I would miss. Have a great time. I will be praying for you.

CarolD

Follow the 4th Step directions in the BB.
Remember to pray before you start.

(+) (+) (+) Hugs and Prayers zinging your way Tom

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Sending you prayers Tom..

Karen

kelsh

Hi Signal30,

I stayed in a replica of a college dorm that was used for visiters and people coming for seminars and training. It seemed small to me but the closet and drawers were built-in on opposite ends of the room and so were the beds...so there was a good amount of open space (if you can really call it that) so you didn't feel on top of one another. :puppet

It will go fine for you...just keep up some silent self-talk to yourself for each and every step you take which will be positive.
Be sure to have some of your anxiety meds on you if you do take any. Just don't get yourself sleepy or you will sit bobbing your head like I do. I enjoy myself too much and wear myself out.

Signal30

Thanks everyone. I arrived at the training facility about an hour ago. It's ok. The dorm room isn't too bad, I just wish the twin beds weren't 3 feet apart. If worse comes to worse, I can find a cheap hotel down the street for about $40.00 a night.

namdm,
This trip away has been the first time I have been away from both of them since my son was born, (he turned two this past Saturday.) I miss them, but I know they are just a phone call away.

They have a computer lab here which is nice, hence is how I am able to respond back.

Thanks again everyone. I just need to take it hour by hour.

Tom

barb dwyer

*prayers*

Tazman53

Tom you got the prayers, hang in there.

From what I hear every sponsor takes people through the steps differently, mine did it by the BB and that is how I have worked them with my sponsee.

Maybe you should talk to your sponsor about this, it is pretty well spelled out in the BB, after the resentments it says:

When doing my 5th with my sponsor he explained that the best way to overcome fear was with faith, by that time I only had one big fear and that was drinking again, well later on I developed better faith in the steps and my HP and as a result of that I have overcome that fear. Why? Because I have developed faith that as long as I maintain my spiritual condition by applying the principles in the 12 steps to all aspects of my life I will not have to fear drinking again.

I am well aware that the fear will return and I may drink again if I do not maintain my spiritual condition by applying the principles in the 12 steps to all aspects of my life.

Next it explains how to handle the sex portion:

This one was a major undertaking and resulted in quit a list for my 8th step, but I am more then willing to do the 9th step on this list where it will not cause anyone harm.

Tom do not lose sleep over it, talk to your sponsor and do it, I am sure he will be willing to do another 5th to address these.

Shaneo20

The sponsorship family I belong to addresses four separate parts to the 4th step: resentments, fears, harms and sexual conduct. Anyone else do it this way?

sugErspun

Yes..'Harm' is where to work gets done. There are three inventories that I did - Resentment, Fear and Sex - with each of those, was listed the harm that was caused, either to myself or others.

Harm to others gives me a start on step 8 (We made a list....) often that harm caused came directly out of :Resentment, Fear or sexual conduct.