redbear

Hello,
My husband is an alcoholic and has made alot of attempts to quit and have alot of "research" . This time he has decided not to go to AA and stayed straight for 5weeks but he was with me the whole time. He left on a business trip. Well this time he did his lying and sceaming and went out a got drunk, when I finally realized he lyed to me he was unbelieviably drunk. He couldn't talk, I know he couldn't walk because I was on the phone with him while he was walking back to the hotel, he fell many times and within 5 mins of being in his room he fell a sleep on the phone with me. I sat there listening to him breath, hoping he would not throw up and coke himself to death. the next morning he call at 5am, apologizing and saying he remembered drinking 4 beer and that was that, he said it was like someone spiked his drink. could that be possible or could it have been because he didn't drink for 5 weeks. I worry about him all the time and would love to know what he goes through. Has anybody have experience with antibuse, this is something he is reseaching. what do you think about it and what if he goes out drinking on it, what can happen? Thank you in advance for your response.

livenletlive

I am sorry to hear about your husband. In my experience, abstinence for 5 weeks and then a bindge of 4 beers should not cause such a violent drunk, however, he may have had no food in his stomach and took the 4 beers, which can cause sickness. I did find info on antibuse. Here is the link I found:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...p/t-28322.html

nandm

In the few years prior to my getting sober, my liver had been damaged enough that it did not metabolize alcohol properly. I never knew when I was going to be drunk on few beers or if I was going to be on my second 30 pack and still not be drunk. The liver can only take so much damage before it fights back. I can not say that he was not drunk with only 4 beers but it could have happened that way or he just lost count and 4 sounded like a good number.

I would suggest that for your sake you seek ALANON as they can help guide you to dealing with the stress of a relationship with an alcoholic.

GrouchoTheCat

The key here is 'remembered'. Once I started I didn't and couldn't keep track.

Please go to alanon.

CarolD

I suggest you read...
"Co Dependant No More" by M. Beatty
and
"Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drew

Blessings to you and your family

Pinkcuda

Antabuse is not the answer Redbear. Even a Fledgeling Alcoholic would realize he could drink if he just quit taking the pill. I was on antabuse a few different times and I would have to go to my Counselor 3 times a week to take it. He kept the pills in a safe to keep us drunks from switching the pills with saccharine or something like that. We would have to crush the pills with a ceramic thing in a coffee cup. We would mix the powder with water and have to sit there for a half hour. That way we couldn't stick the pill under our tongue or go outside and barf it up. This was all under a Court Order with the threat of going back to jail if I didn't comply.
Alcoholics are a crafty bunch when it comes to getting alcohol. There's no stopping them. Antabuse is childs play for a seasoned alcoholic.

barb dwyer

my vote for the immediate is with those advising alanon.

snowgoose

Yes, of course you would want to know what other alcoholics in recovery think. I advise you to get a long and strong dose of Alanon as well. Yes, I feel your pain and wish you and your AH the best.

parentrecovers

take care of you, redbear. alanon is a good start...

hugs, k

redbear

I have been going to alanon, but with my long history of dealing with alcoholics from child to present, I just shut up. I find it's beter because everytime I open my mouth I give them the excuse to drink, so I have been told. My chest feels like it is going to crave in and I can't eat because my throat feels closed off. I don't know what to do anymore except to leave. I am a drug addict, I have been straight for about 5-6 mths, This is something my husband wanted me to do for our family and our daughter, why does he think he is above it, how can I make him see or at least clear the cob webs away long enough.? Am I asking silly questions that will never happen? Shuld I just stop all together. I love this man, he is my bestfriend and I have all the faith in the world to him, it's getting harder and harder to believe him becuase of his lies and his romance with Coors light.

CarolD

I'm glad you have stopped using drugs.
That's awesome!

It sounds as tho you are puting your
own well being at risk for someone else.

Can you continue to live with an active addict?
That's a question only you can answer.

Blesings

Pinkcuda

Redbear, I am an Alcoholic. My wife was a Cocaine/ Prescription addict. Social Services came in and took my children. That's where I stopped. I stopped for about a month and it was a struggle. It was then I decided to go to AA. I made the decision to go for myself. I decided to work the steps for myself and fix Me.
Me is the only thing I have control over.
When I hear questions like "how can I make someone act, feel or think a certain way"
I can only come up wih one response. Quit trying to do Gods job!
You just take care of you. It will give you strenght, self respect and insight. As things went in my house, I was sober and working the steps. I would go to meetings and she would go get high. My side of the street was being swept and hers wasn't.
The beauty of it was that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't deny the fact that I was changing. I was changing into a person that she actually liked. Not only did she see a change that she liked, she knew what was causing the change. After a two year struggle with her addiction, she climbed on board.
She's relapsed a time ot two in the last couple years but immediatley got right back on track. There has been no fighting in my home, No children crying, No Police, No neighbors looking out their windows at us. None of that. All because I took care of "Me". It became contagious.

Pipes Mcgee

Antabuse, at best, only makes the idea of drinking kinda scary. It doesnt change the way you think, which is the only way to beat alcoholism. Antabuse does nothing to you, really, if you dont drink. If you do drink on it, it makes you violently ill. You get the cold, clammy skin, severe nausea, red and blotchy complextion, and flu-like symptoms, only multiplied by 10. Every alcoholic I have ever spoken to that used antabuse, tried to drink on it. Some didnt even get sick. Most just sweat alot. Thats it. Antabuse makes you not want to drink because you may get sick. Since you cannot take antabuse for the rest of your life, that isnt a good enough consequence. The reason to not drink must be because you want a new life. Want to be healthy. Want to live and not die. Its a frustrating truth, but, most alcoholics want a quick fix. Without doing any work. They dont want to attend meetings. They dont want to see Doctors. They dont even want to ADMIT they are alcoholics. They dont want anyone to know about the OBVIOUS problem they have. They want a little pill that makes it all go away. Little pills dont change your thinking. Little pills dont supply self-pride. Most of all, little pills do not repair the carnage ones drinking has caused.

tiburon88

Antabuse can be used as a tool to help a alcoholic stop drinking. IMO the first 6 months of sobriety Antabuse could be a big help. No it's not a magic pill but I say that anything that may help is worth a try.

Pinkcuda

Sure it's a magic pill. Take it and "Presto" you now have a Dry Drunk.

redbear

Thank you for your advice please keep it coming, I need slaps too once in a will to get me out of my slump and self-pity. Thank you

lostmdboy

my only advice is to take care of your recovery. It has to be #1.

Stormtooth

Redbear,

I think he is probably telling the truth. I know when i was sober and then thought I could have a few drinks "something" would happen like reaching some sort of critical mass and I would go out of control.

I know there were times where i would seemingly have a few drinks only to wake up, sometimes days later--not knowing what day--noy knowing what happened. Is that unpredictable enough for you?

It was like some sort of a bell rang. I have heard stories in rehab where someone has gone almost immediately into a black out after a ridiculously small amount of alcohol. I don't think it really has to do with the liver, but some sort of trigger.

I would say, do not blame yourself. Someone who has the experience of drinking to the point they do not know how they kept drinking, or apologizing at 5 am is out of control, and really has lost the ability to make any kind of a decision.

Your part in this is deciding how much you will put up with before you have to take off. Understand nothing you say or do will influence what your husband does. Nothing he really wants or thinks is important is likely to outweigh his cravings. He does not want to hurt you or himself.

He is an alcoholic, and alcoholics drink.

Only he can accept that, and not for love, money, or anything else. He has tio want to be sober--as opposed to avoiding being drunk.

Tazman53

Redbear the best thing you can do for him is NOTHING!!!! If he is hung over and can not go to work, do not call in sick for him, if he is in jail do not bail him out, if he needs a ride home because he is to drunk tell him to call a cab.

Redbear you need to make redbear #1, go to alanon and learn to understand that the only one who can control his drinking is him! The more you help him the more you hurt him, the less you help the closer he will draw to his last drink.

I am an alcoholic, the best thing my wife ever did for me was to tell me that her and the kids were leaving me in a month! This allowed me to see that I was going to die if I continued to drink.

You need to stop your self from becoming a victim and possibly going down the toilet if he chooses to flush his life down it.

There is only one person that can help an alcoholic and that is thier selfs!

No pill will keep an alcoholic sober, they make it easier for an alcoholic that WANTS to quit to quit, but if an alcoholic wants to drink, they are going to drink.

Alcoholics that quit drinking totally on thier own are few and far between, almost every one of them that quits and stays quit uses some sort of support group/groups.

A very important note though, no support group is able to help an alcoholic stay stopped unless the alcoholic is working their program of recovery.

Attending AA (or any other groups) meetings will no more get or keep an alcoholic sober then hanging around a hospital will make some one a doctor, work has to be done by the individial to achieve either.

Pipes Mcgee

This is a GREAT QUOTE!! So true, too.