Can I do this?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 2
Can I do this?
I know that I have a problem with alcohol. At this point in time, I try to only drink one night on the weekends, but when I drink...I drink. I'm talking a full bottle of tequila all by myself. It is complete binge drinking, but I know it is just as bad for me! During some work weeks, I will drink one night, (binge of course) and then be out of business the entire next day. Luckily, I work from home and make my own schedule.
I really, really want to stop drinking completely. I always say I will, but then once the weekend rolls around, I decide I want to have "fun." I am just so afraid that I won't be able to do it. But, then I look at so many others who were in my present position and have stopped!
I worry that life won't be fun anymore, or how will I go to dinner w/out drinking, or what if I go on a vacation where there is free alcohol. I have gone to a few AA meetings about one year ago, but did not follow through. A part of me wants to be able to stop without the traditional AA meetings. I would like to do Celebrate Recovery which is more of a Christ based program, but I'd only be going to one meeting a week. I feel like I will not have time to go to AA the recommended EVERYDAY esp. in the beginning. I am a single mom, (only drink on nights I don't have my child,) and work full-time. I feel incredibly busy and overwhelmed.
I know my life will be sooooo much better if I just stop drinking. I won't get sick from hangovers the night after a binge episode, get healthier, and my mental state, not to mention my job performance would really go up!!!
I just needed to post this to get my feelings out and hopefully get some suggestions.
Thanks!!
I really, really want to stop drinking completely. I always say I will, but then once the weekend rolls around, I decide I want to have "fun." I am just so afraid that I won't be able to do it. But, then I look at so many others who were in my present position and have stopped!
I worry that life won't be fun anymore, or how will I go to dinner w/out drinking, or what if I go on a vacation where there is free alcohol. I have gone to a few AA meetings about one year ago, but did not follow through. A part of me wants to be able to stop without the traditional AA meetings. I would like to do Celebrate Recovery which is more of a Christ based program, but I'd only be going to one meeting a week. I feel like I will not have time to go to AA the recommended EVERYDAY esp. in the beginning. I am a single mom, (only drink on nights I don't have my child,) and work full-time. I feel incredibly busy and overwhelmed.
I know my life will be sooooo much better if I just stop drinking. I won't get sick from hangovers the night after a binge episode, get healthier, and my mental state, not to mention my job performance would really go up!!!
I just needed to post this to get my feelings out and hopefully get some suggestions.
Thanks!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 57
Hi Ashana,
Welcome!
I just want to encourage you to do whatever it takes to get past that binge night. If Celebrate Recovery happens to have a meeting on that very night, then it might turn out to be the perfect program for you. If not, remember that the AA recommendations are not rules written in stone--that's what the whole "take what you like and leave the rest" saying is all about. I mention that because it's quite likely that there is an AA meeting on the night you are normally binging.
I was a binger towards the end of my drinking as well--and binge nights were the nights I needed to get through in the beginning. Now I don't drink at all, but in the beginning I really took the idea of "one day at a time" to heart, and when I went to my first few AA meetings, I was just trying to stay sober that night.
Being around others who understand, who support your effort at recovery, can make all the difference between waking up in the morning feeling clear and free versus waking up with another of those hideous hangovers. If you can find those people outside of AA, great. If not, you might want to go to a meeting with that in mind--that you just want to wake up happy in the morning.
Welcome!
I just want to encourage you to do whatever it takes to get past that binge night. If Celebrate Recovery happens to have a meeting on that very night, then it might turn out to be the perfect program for you. If not, remember that the AA recommendations are not rules written in stone--that's what the whole "take what you like and leave the rest" saying is all about. I mention that because it's quite likely that there is an AA meeting on the night you are normally binging.
I was a binger towards the end of my drinking as well--and binge nights were the nights I needed to get through in the beginning. Now I don't drink at all, but in the beginning I really took the idea of "one day at a time" to heart, and when I went to my first few AA meetings, I was just trying to stay sober that night.
Being around others who understand, who support your effort at recovery, can make all the difference between waking up in the morning feeling clear and free versus waking up with another of those hideous hangovers. If you can find those people outside of AA, great. If not, you might want to go to a meeting with that in mind--that you just want to wake up happy in the morning.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and Welcome to SR!
Here is a list of recovery programs
some offer on line support
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
As you are only drinking once a week...SMART might be for you.
Keep in focus...try whatever you need to do
Sobriety Rocks!
Here is a list of recovery programs
some offer on line support
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
As you are only drinking once a week...SMART might be for you.
Keep in focus...try whatever you need to do
Sobriety Rocks!
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
Ashana,
You are all over the place; I don't say that to be critical, just to let you see yourself through my eyes.
EXAMPLE: "I really, really want to stop drinking completely. I always say I will, but then once the weekend rolls around, I decide I want to have "fun."
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH "having fun" and if when you drink you really are having fun, then DON'T STOP. That is a question that I would suggest you sit quietly sometime and answer for yourself. If drinking still works for you and isn't interfering with the type of life you want then I would say that you don't have a problem.
EXAMPLE: “I know my life will be sooooo much better if I just stop drinking. I won't get sick from hangovers the night after a binge episode, get healthier, and my mental state, not to mention my job performance. "
NOT REALLY SURE THAT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU THINK DRINKING IS REALLY WORKING FOR YOU?
I suggest that you read your own post as if I had posted it, and then please think about what you would ADVISE ME to do. Sometimes we get so close to our own situation that we can't see the obvious. No one can tell you if you are alcoholic, but YOU can determine if drinking is adding to or detracting from your life and in your case your child’s.
I have been sober a few years and I have an extremely "fun" and enjoyable life. I don't wear a scarlet A for alkie when I am out among the “normal” folks. Just as an example from my life, I spent a very enjoyable and fantastic night in June at the EMMY AWARDS with a lady friend of mine who was a nominee and believe me the booze was free and a whole bunch of the folks were pretty tipsy. I could not have enjoyed myself more, and I remember the whole event! I live a very active social life and all sorts of "drinkers" find me perfectly acceptable company. It isn’t an easy transition, however in my particular case it is a fantastic life that I would never trade for the “old one” that I had. I drank for 25+ years and I could not imagine life without booze, until I realized I wasn’t really living my life, I just thought I was.
Here is what I learned. FOR THE TRUE ALCOHOLIC (that be me), LIFE DOESN'T END WHEN WE STOP DRINKING, IT REALLY JUST BEGINS.
Good luck whatever you decide,
Jon
You are all over the place; I don't say that to be critical, just to let you see yourself through my eyes.
EXAMPLE: "I really, really want to stop drinking completely. I always say I will, but then once the weekend rolls around, I decide I want to have "fun."
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH "having fun" and if when you drink you really are having fun, then DON'T STOP. That is a question that I would suggest you sit quietly sometime and answer for yourself. If drinking still works for you and isn't interfering with the type of life you want then I would say that you don't have a problem.
EXAMPLE: “I know my life will be sooooo much better if I just stop drinking. I won't get sick from hangovers the night after a binge episode, get healthier, and my mental state, not to mention my job performance. "
NOT REALLY SURE THAT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU THINK DRINKING IS REALLY WORKING FOR YOU?
I suggest that you read your own post as if I had posted it, and then please think about what you would ADVISE ME to do. Sometimes we get so close to our own situation that we can't see the obvious. No one can tell you if you are alcoholic, but YOU can determine if drinking is adding to or detracting from your life and in your case your child’s.
I have been sober a few years and I have an extremely "fun" and enjoyable life. I don't wear a scarlet A for alkie when I am out among the “normal” folks. Just as an example from my life, I spent a very enjoyable and fantastic night in June at the EMMY AWARDS with a lady friend of mine who was a nominee and believe me the booze was free and a whole bunch of the folks were pretty tipsy. I could not have enjoyed myself more, and I remember the whole event! I live a very active social life and all sorts of "drinkers" find me perfectly acceptable company. It isn’t an easy transition, however in my particular case it is a fantastic life that I would never trade for the “old one” that I had. I drank for 25+ years and I could not imagine life without booze, until I realized I wasn’t really living my life, I just thought I was.
Here is what I learned. FOR THE TRUE ALCOHOLIC (that be me), LIFE DOESN'T END WHEN WE STOP DRINKING, IT REALLY JUST BEGINS.
Good luck whatever you decide,
Jon
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
To drink or not to drink????
Hi Jon,
I did like your post. It makes a whole lot of sense, especially your take on being sober. I have been sober 19 years and I totally agree that my life began after I had been sober a while....I accomplished many goals that I would have not lived long enough to do if I had kept on drinking.
Life goes so fast for me now. It is hard to believe the years I spent in a muddled mess. I drank a total of 24 years and most of it was alcohol abuse and later alcoholic every day drinking after work. I had to work to afford to drink. I had one daughter at home that was 11 when I decided to get help for my drinking. She had been diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes when she was eleven and I needed to be alert for her.....I had to keep a diary of her insulin, blood sugars, and what she ate to take to her doc every week. One morning I had to look through the garbage to see what I had cooked her for supper. That was my bottom!!!! UCK ....I was so disgusted with myself...got an appointment that day to do something to help me get back on the right track. 
Life is so good now and I enjoy each and every day.
I did like your post. It makes a whole lot of sense, especially your take on being sober. I have been sober 19 years and I totally agree that my life began after I had been sober a while....I accomplished many goals that I would have not lived long enough to do if I had kept on drinking.
Life goes so fast for me now. It is hard to believe the years I spent in a muddled mess. I drank a total of 24 years and most of it was alcohol abuse and later alcoholic every day drinking after work. I had to work to afford to drink. I had one daughter at home that was 11 when I decided to get help for my drinking. She had been diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes when she was eleven and I needed to be alert for her.....I had to keep a diary of her insulin, blood sugars, and what she ate to take to her doc every week. One morning I had to look through the garbage to see what I had cooked her for supper. That was my bottom!!!! UCK ....I was so disgusted with myself...got an appointment that day to do something to help me get back on the right track. Life is so good now and I enjoy each and every day.
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
Kelsh,
You have an 11 year lead on me going down the sober road, God willing and a little attention to detail and I strongly suspect we will both have a grand day again tomorrow!
Thanks for showing me that all things are possible.
Jon
Jon
You have an 11 year lead on me going down the sober road, God willing and a little attention to detail and I strongly suspect we will both have a grand day again tomorrow!
Thanks for showing me that all things are possible.
Jon
Jon
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 63
ashana,
good luck. you're in the same boat as others here. i wish i could be one of the ones that tells you i've been sober for years but so far it's only been 2 days... it's nice to have the people here to lean on because i know the temptation is going to be there again for me soon. it's 7:00 am where i am right now and i'm just hoping i make it thru today. but i do know that i, and the rest of the world, am better off with me sober than either spending my life drunk or hung over and eventually dying from it. i hope you find what works for you.
good luck. you're in the same boat as others here. i wish i could be one of the ones that tells you i've been sober for years but so far it's only been 2 days... it's nice to have the people here to lean on because i know the temptation is going to be there again for me soon. it's 7:00 am where i am right now and i'm just hoping i make it thru today. but i do know that i, and the rest of the world, am better off with me sober than either spending my life drunk or hung over and eventually dying from it. i hope you find what works for you.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
At this point in time, I try to only drink one night on the weekends, but when I drink...I drink. I'm talking a full bottle of tequila all by myself.
I assume you noticed that I bolded if you are an alcoholic. The reason I did that is because the only person that can tell if you are an alcoholic is you, here is a quiz that can help you decide. http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/....cfm?PageID=71
I would like to do Celebrate Recovery which is more of a Christ based program, but I'd only be going to one meeting a week. I feel like I will not have time to go to AA the recommended EVERYDAY esp. in the beginning.
There are no conflicts between AA and any religion or faith, even agnostics and athiest have found a Higher Power of their understanding to allow them to stay sober.
I worry that life won't be fun anymore, or how will I go to dinner w/out drinking, or what if I go on a vacation where there is free alcohol.
You know what I have discovered? Every thing I did and enjoyed while drinking, I did better and enjoyed more sober!!!! Another amazing discovery I made was there were tons of delicous things to drink that did not have any alcohol in them and most people do not drink when eating dinner, and thoise that do could care less if I drank or did not drink.
Think about that one..... when you are drinking do you really care if some one with you is not drinking? Do you dislike them because they are not drinking?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 2
Thank you everyone for your responses. Yardbird...
What you said really made sense regarding just trying to get through that binge night which is Friday for me. I've gotten really good about not drinking during the week but there is still that chance so maybe if I don't have my daughter one night and get the urge to drink, I should try to find a meeting. One hour in an AA meeting, no matter how much work I have to do or how much I need some time to just relax, will be better than losing a full day of work due to a hangover.
I will try that this week! Thank you!
Jon...
You said I was "all over the place." You are right, that's just my nature in general, but I can tell you that I re-read my post and thought it made complete sense. If I were an outsider looking in,I would say, "Wow, I can relate." Thanks for responding though, and I appreciate the insight.
Have to pick up my daughter from daycare.
What you said really made sense regarding just trying to get through that binge night which is Friday for me. I've gotten really good about not drinking during the week but there is still that chance so maybe if I don't have my daughter one night and get the urge to drink, I should try to find a meeting. One hour in an AA meeting, no matter how much work I have to do or how much I need some time to just relax, will be better than losing a full day of work due to a hangover.
I will try that this week! Thank you!
Jon...
You said I was "all over the place." You are right, that's just my nature in general, but I can tell you that I re-read my post and thought it made complete sense. If I were an outsider looking in,I would say, "Wow, I can relate." Thanks for responding though, and I appreciate the insight.
Have to pick up my daughter from daycare.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: brooklyn, new york
Posts: 1,639
"i feel like I will not have time to go to AA the recommended EVERYDAY esp. in the beginning......................"
everyone feels like that
but once you start going
and
stop drinking
you will not believe how much more time you have
and
you will be amazed at all the things you get done in a day
try it
you'll like it
best
fraankie
everyone feels like that
but once you start going
and
stop drinking
you will not believe how much more time you have
and
you will be amazed at all the things you get done in a day
try it
you'll like it
best
fraankie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 63
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
Welcome to SR Ashana, do a little research on alcoholism, because if you are an alcoholic I can tell you for a fact that as long as an alcoholic drinks, their disease always gets worse and never better! Years before I quit I was like you during certain periods of my drinking, other times I was a daily drinker with binges thrown in every once in a while. Then I became a daily drinker still mixing in binges, in the end I had to drink every day to just feel normal.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Pixel it took me 40 years of drinking before I finally drank enough.......... enough to finally be able to realize that I did not need to drink anymore............ you see I am powerless over alcohol!
Once I drink that one drink I lose every bit of power that my Higher Power has given me to not drink! At that point in time I have no idea if I will have 1 more or get and stay drunk for a week, I have no idea if I will hop in my truck drunk and drive some where to get some more beer, who knows what will happen once I have that one drink, you see I lose all power.
Once I drink that one drink I lose every bit of power that my Higher Power has given me to not drink! At that point in time I have no idea if I will have 1 more or get and stay drunk for a week, I have no idea if I will hop in my truck drunk and drive some where to get some more beer, who knows what will happen once I have that one drink, you see I lose all power.
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