earthmama

Hey everyone -

Well, today is my 2 year sobriety birthday. I felt anxious coming up to it for some reason....but I made it, and here I am.

BUT - I am feeling sort of down in the dumps. Not even sure why, really - I'm usually pretty upbeat. I know that last year on my first birthday, I was SO happy and excited. I couldn't believe I had made it, one day at a time!

This year? I'm not sure what my deal is. I'm feeling bad because although I am free from alcohol (one day at a time, with the help of my HP), I still have this addictive personality. Nicotine Gum, Food, Internet - I'm hooked on all of them. I guess I'm disappointed in myself....for all of the work I've done in recovery, I'm still finding ways to isolate myself and avoid feelings. Don't get me wrong, life is 100% better than it was when I was drinking - there's no comparison, really. I guess I'm just feeling like I "should" be more recovered than I am. If that makes any sense!

I don't want to be a bummer for any of the newbies on the board. But I guess even those of us with a little time under our belts need some help sometimes. I do, anyhow.

Thanks for listening

nandm

Birthdays always leave me a little anxious too. I think it is fairly common.

It seems as it birthdays become a kind of reflection time and too many times I feel I have not progressed as fast as I would have liked. My opinion is that is the perfectionist coming through. When I start feeling that way I have to remind myself that it is "Progress not perfection" that matters.


Happy birthday! 2 years is awesome.

Astro

(((earthmama))) Two years is huge, I passed that mark 9 months ago. Congratulations! Try to be proud of your growth and progress.

My second year was hard, year three seems even harder. Why? Because I'm learning to live again, and I open myself up to more challenges, knowing that I can face them head-on in sobriety in spite of any fears I might have. There are still times when I hurt and feel painful emotions, but the reward of recovery for me is experiencing life on life's terms. It's pretty cool to do these things sober.

I also have "anniversary anxiety" when I approach an AA birthday. I think it's pretty natural at those times to examine our progress in recovery, and that's when I have to remind myself that it's "progress, not perfection".

I'm very proud of you for sharing and for your recovery time!

stone

Congrats earthmama!

findingout

Big ups on 2 years earthmama! Expectations of the way things should be VS Acceptance of the way things are. Always troublesome, more so on milestone occasions? We can't always get what we want, but if we try some times, we might just find, we get what we need.

Congratulations * 2.

parentrecovers

be proud! hugs, k

Rowan

Earthmama, congratulations and Happy Birthday! 2 years is a miracle! If you are feeling ready, maybe it is time to start looking at other areas of your life. It wasn't until I had some solid sober time that I was able to start looking at some of the deeper issues, myself. I've started working with a relapse prevention group, and though painful, it's been very helpful.
Regardless, you should be very proud of yourself for such an accomplishment! I'm grateful you are here to share your sobriety with us.

Rowan

SoberDad

Hang in there.As long as you stay with it you have a chance to overcome anything you want.Give yourself a break.What you have accomplished up to now is no small feat.Imagine what else you could do.Good going

GlassPrisoner

This.

Early sobriety was almost easier because the biggest challenges I faced were getting the mail , taking out the trash, and figuring out which meeting to go to for the day.

As I recover more, God gives me more challenges. (And more rewards)

Don’t feel bad mama. I'm pretty sure your not the first alkie to ever expect too much from themselves........

Astro

Welcome SoberDad!!

OK, back on topic........

CarolD

Hi Sober Dad....Welcome to SR!

CarolD

Mama ....Well Done!

GrouchoTheCat

Hi Earthy,

2 years is an amazing acomplishment. Where I am right now, it's hard to even imagine 2 years. It's great to see people get there, as it gives me hope for the future.

Don't sell yourself short!

Ted

SoberDad

Thanks for the welcome.I was really happy to have found you guys.

zJoe99

Two years is an awesome achievement, earthmama!!! You are one of the winners.

Sorry you are feeling sad today. I hope your sadness lifts and you are able to enjoy your great acomplishment. This is a big day for you. Wow. Two years!!!

The stuff you mentioned being disappointed about seems like small potatoes to me. I struggle to get a few days of sobriety. Had 6 but just blew that.

Winners like you give me hope though.

earthmama

Wow, thanks everybody for your kind words I feel really touched.

I think maybe like nandm said, birthdays are a time of reflection. And yes, I'm almost certainly comparing myself to some sort of perfect ideal of how I think I "should" be. I guess I just am who I am, and I just am where I am. At least I'm sober, and I am so grateful for that. Without that, I really would have nothing.

Thanks everyone for the congratulations and for helping me put all of this in perspective. I still feel a little sad....but I feel cared for and supported, and tomorrow is another day!

Kellye C

Happy birthday earthmama! I just celebrated 3 years last month and it kinda just slipped past. I remember year one being very exciting and year two not so much for many of the same reasons you've listed. I think what you are feeling is normal. If you need to, reflect back on what those first few days, weeks and months were like and then what today is like. Realize how far you've come. Then perhaps make some goals for year 3. Just an idea.

Congratulations, you've accomplished something truly awesome.

Hugs,
Kellye

chip

Happy Birthday, Earthmama!

It's sorta strange.... I can really relate to you. 2 years is a great accomplishment. I'm coming up on 2 years without a drink as well. I'm feeling a bit low myself.

It is good to be sober. One day at a time...
peace,
chip


Welcome Soberdad!

Tazman53

earthmama congrats on 2 years and thank you for giving me and others hope, I am coming upon a year and early on folks like you sharing your time sober gave me the hope I needed many times to just make it through that 24 hours I was in at the time.

I also want to thank you for sharing how you are feeling, I have heard a lot of folks share they get antsy as they near thier anniversary, this helps all of us to be prepared for what we may feel around our anniversary date.

DoingWell

2 years is awesome! I think sometimes we don't allow ourselves to see this as an ackomplishment because we might think of our addiction as morally wrong, defected so we don't really think of getting to those milestones as an ackomplishment, try to focus on the positives and know that your achievements are helping others. I get a great sense of empowerment when I see someone make these strides, think of all the others who want what you have and you have helped them in a big way by sharing your ackomplishments!