Emimily

i need as much advice as humanly possible, folks.

how do i get clarity on god's will, not mine? i pray every morning, every night, and a couple times throughout the day, depending. i am open to god, i sincerely want the big guy's will in my life, i want mine to align with it, i want to do the next right thing... i'm constantly working to enlarge my spiritual condition, and i feel good about my connection with the ole HP.

so here's my problem. i met someone in the rooms who i love oh-so-much. but, we've fought, we've yelled, etc. we're young, y'know, it happens.

then i met someone else.

and it's like... i want what i want yesterday. and we have so much in common, and he's really cute, and blah blah.

ahhh i just want the big guy to be like "here's what you do, here's what you don't. k? love you buddy!" and yeah.

it's more complicated than this, but not so much. just enough to make me understand that i don't know whether i'm coming or going some days.

so, third step advice/god advice/life advice/boy advice please please please.

and, thank you thank you thank you.

parentrecovers

how long have you been in recovery, emimily? relationships are hard to manage that first year or so. i met someone at an open mtg awhile back in her 3rd year of recovery, and she said she still didn't feel ready. it's such a vulnerable time, you know?

maybe you're just not ready to get involved with a guy yet?

caraway

Sounds to me like you're not ready just yet. You're young, you've lots of time. Perhaps you should try to cultivate friendships rather than relationships at this stage.

Rowan

Hi Em,

I wish it could be as simple as God bathing boy #1 in golden light, so you would know whom to choose!
If you're having a difficult time choosing, then maybe neither one is right for you.
I'm glad that you're working hard to enlarge your spiritual journey, and I know it might be difficult, but maybe that's where the answers are. Maybe you just need to stick with the spiritual aspect, keep working hard at your recovery, and maybe think about romance at a later time?
Good luck!

Row

Sugah

God's will vs. our own will.... the way I was taught to get a little better at it (I know no one who's perfect) is to check my motives and see which if any of my character defects were involved in the choice. If they were, I was to ask that I be divorced from them and re-evaluate.

I just had a situation over the weekend where I reacted emotionally, and it took from Friday to Sunday morning to sort out the facts from the feelings. Two days...not so bad. Used to take much longer.

And also, my sponsor never told me to wait a year to date or make big decisions. She told me to wait until I worked all 12 steps. Have you done that? Has he?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

justjo

I always say. Ever in doubt, dont do it.