sad75

8 July 2007 is my sobriety date so I guess this is day two. To be honest today feels like the first day as I had so much alcohol still in my body from my Saturday night drinking spree that I didn't feel too 'sober' yesterday.

The tears have stopped, for today but I am sure there are many more to come. I have made an appointment to see the doctor this morning. My body aches and my head hurts like hell, I don't think that these are specifically down to my alcohol intake on Saturday, I have cuts and bruises everywhere. I know I must have fallen on Saturday night tho I have no recollection of this. I am now petrified I've smacked my head good and proper. Also not in work this morning which is not good.

I'm going to try and attend an AA metting tonight. I still haven't seen anyone since I was drunk on Saturday and still don't want to see anyone but as someone posted yesterday, I have to start living at some point.

I have always known drink was a major problem for me, I just couldn't face up to the fact that I am an alcoholic and you know saying it out loud just isn't as bad as I thought. I can't drink alcohol because it makes me sick.

I don't feel too good with myself at the moment but am not completely despondant. I am grateful to wake up this morning to a shining sun and that you people are here to listen (or read...) and help everyone out. The people that replied to my first posts yesterday helped me get through yesterday.

I am grateful that I have now recognised what I am and just hope I am ready to fight it head on because I do not want to wake up another morning having wet myself, feeling sorry for myself, tired, sore head, shame... I think you get the picture.

Anyway peeps I shall be back because I need to here those supportive words right now and read all your inspiring stories of sobriety, I can't wait to be like you!! I envy sober people.

Thanks for listening to my vague little rant about my little corner of the earth.

I hope you are all well and strong today - stay well.

Shaneo20

I really feel for you. Try not to focus on what others will think of you. I know this is extremely difficult, especially when withdrawing, but I have done the most repulsive things whilst under the influence and usually things are forgiven before too long provided you make amends. In the scheme of your life this embarrassing incident is but a small part of who you are as a person, so look at it as an event that has sparked your sobriety and was perhaps even necessary. I am on day 8 and have a very long way to go but I know that postponing my sobriety has continually produced mistakes in my life. Be strong. Reach out to those AA members. Were all here ready to support you. The future will hold some fantastic things for you so keep posting to fill us all in and in the meantime keep your chin up.

Shane

Hooner

Congratulations on Day2! You are fortunate to have not had any serious withdrawals. The bruises and cuts will heal. It's also good that you are seeing a doctor. Don't worry about missing work, this is really about you right now and your life. It will all be so much better without alcohol. Also, we've all been there and have our own share of stories - but life moves on - and so must you. Keep looking forward. You mentioned you didn't like AA before, I suggest you try different meetings and find one you like. You will probably meet some really good people there and make new friends. It's uncomfortable but all growth is. Take care!

needtobefree

Hiya, it's day 10 for me and it's getting easier in a lot of respects. Good on you for embarking on this journey. We'll be here to give you encouragement and support. :0)

sad75

Well tears again but this time, from your lovely kind words of support. A girl I spoke to last night who is an AA has just called me again to make sure I'm OK. I really can't tell you how much your kind words are doing. I felt so lost and alone yesterday and someone I spoke to in AA suggested I try this website. I'm glad I picked up the phone and glad I logged on here.

I will keep you all posted on my recovery which petrifies me but as I keep reading, one baby step at a time. Today is all that concerns me for now.

Thank you.

Love and hugs to you all.

Tazman53

sad welcome to SR and when you go to that AA meeting try and go a bit early, some times the best parts of AA meetings are before and after the meeting.

Keep in mind also that you do not need to say a word if you do not want to, if some one does ask you to share simply say "No thanks, I am just listening today." people who have been in AA for 20 years say this on occasion.

Try and focus on what you have in common with others in the meeting and not the differences. Every human being on the face of the earth is different, but we alcoholics all have similar traits whether we are rich or poor, black or white, religous or aethist, young or old.

In the rooms of AA I have found people who understand my drinking issues, they also understand how to stay sober and become better people and be happy doing it. They understand every bit of pain I have gone through and am going through now, they have been there and done that. They are more then happy to share with me how they have got through all of this sober.

Seeing the doctor is an excellent idea, you may need meds to see you through the withdrawals, be totally honest with your doctor.

Congrats on your sobriety, just remember, stopping drinking is the easy part, the hard part is staying stopped.

parentrecovers

sending you support, k

sad75

Hi all,

Just logged in to let you know I'm just back from my AA meeting. Didn't think I'd speak but I did manage at least to say, my name's ***** and I'm an alcoholic.

It actually felt good to say it, in the company of people who understood the weight behind the words I was speaking. I truly don't think I would have got through those doors if it hadn't been for your support and the two girls in AA I spoke with yesterday, so thank you.

I am under no illusion that my battle is going to be a long hard one, although at this very moment today I feel better, much better than 24 hours ago. I still can't eat but my body will ask for food when it is ready, as long as I keep drinking (liquids - not my poison!!!!).

My next step is to find myself a group, today's meeting was just to get me through the doors of an AA meeting. I was welcomed with nothing other than warm smiles and handshakes from some lovely people.

As I've said before, technically today was my second AA meeting but it really feels like the first because today I stayed and today I listened.

Love and hugs and many thanks to you all for your encouragement and support. Shane I meant to thank you earlier for what you said, not that everyone else's words didn't resonate with me, but you're spot on when you said For years I have known something in my life would have to change and for years deep down I knew what that "something" was. I had no courage to stand up to it, for today at least I do. Congratulations on the beginning of your second week in sobriety, I hope you stay for a long long time.

I hope you all stay strong and well.

Talk to you soon.

parentrecovers

well done getting to that meeting! blessings, k

Tazman53

sad it gets better every day and that word "CHANGE" is so important in recovery. For me if all I did was quit drinking and changed nothing else about me as a person, I was going to drink again. I always remind my self:

If nothing changes, nothing changes!

The steps of AA has been the way I have found freedom from all of the guilt and shame of my past and allowed me to now live life on lifes terms sober. In AA I have learned that AA works if I work it!

I have also seen that no program will work if one is not willing to work it, AA is not the only program that does work, but no program works unless we work it.

sad75

Thanks Tazman.

Couldn't agree more, but I think a lot of you will agree when I say that with alcohol in my life, or more importantly, in my blood, I couldn't see what needs to be changed. I have been living in a drunken fog pretty much since the age of 14. I have a wide range of interests none of which I do because I am, at the moment, too lost in sefl esteem issues to get cracking on the things I love and fill my time with them. I know if I can get X number of days sobriety under my belt it will give me something to be proud of and work and build on.

As someone else said, this is a journey and I have no idea where it will take me or, more importantly, where I will take it. I am hopeful for the future, but right now I can't see past midnight tonight. Today I am sober and that feels great.

Tazman53

sad that is all I am.... sober today! I have spoken to alcoholics who have not touched a drop in over 20 years and every one of them will tell you they have done it one day at a time.

One day at a time sounds stupid, but I can handle one day, I can not handle a month, a year, 5 years or FOREVER!!!!

I have today, tomorrow who knows? Living in today is far easier for me, I can handle that, FOREVER I can not grasp.

Peter

Well done Sad.

Somehow I have a feeling you're gonna be okay

mpr

just take it easy one day at a time... baby steps don't overwhelm yourself