in the dumps, grrr!
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 24
in the dumps, grrr!
Hi everyone!
Today marks 53 days sober. I'm posting because the last few days have inexplicably sucked, and I can't really figure out why, and I just need to vent for a bit!
The last few weeks have really been amazing. My sleep schedule "magically" fixed itself as I got the alcohol out of my system, and I'm waking up unaided at 6 a.m. every morning feeling great. I got back into running and began training for a 5k. My diet is so much better, I look and feel better now, and my head is so much clearer. I know I'm gushing, but I'm just so happy with everything that has come with sobreity.
A few nights ago, I decided to go out to see a music show with a couple friends that I haven't seen in awhile. I haven't told them that I quit drinking, because I still don't feel comfortable talking to them about it. Anyway, I was there, surrounded by tons of people drinking cheap beer and smoking and dancing on a warm summer night, and everything seemed so carefree, and a deep sense of loss started to wash over me. It scared me! Of course, I know that I can't just relax and enjoy the show with a couple beers and smokes... I have to get trashed, start doing shots halfway through the show, get a ride home with someone because I can't drive, and then not even remember what I paid to go see. Still, it really bothered me and I've been having a hard time shaking it.
The last few days, I haven't had much appetite, and for some reason I keep sleeping in later than usual and feeling very groggy in the morning. I don't want to do anything other than sit here.
I did force myself to go on a long run this morning, and I just got back, and I feel a little better. After writing this, I feel better, too. Thanks SR has been so awesome, thank you to everyone who is here!!
confound
Today marks 53 days sober. I'm posting because the last few days have inexplicably sucked, and I can't really figure out why, and I just need to vent for a bit!
The last few weeks have really been amazing. My sleep schedule "magically" fixed itself as I got the alcohol out of my system, and I'm waking up unaided at 6 a.m. every morning feeling great. I got back into running and began training for a 5k. My diet is so much better, I look and feel better now, and my head is so much clearer. I know I'm gushing, but I'm just so happy with everything that has come with sobreity.
A few nights ago, I decided to go out to see a music show with a couple friends that I haven't seen in awhile. I haven't told them that I quit drinking, because I still don't feel comfortable talking to them about it. Anyway, I was there, surrounded by tons of people drinking cheap beer and smoking and dancing on a warm summer night, and everything seemed so carefree, and a deep sense of loss started to wash over me. It scared me! Of course, I know that I can't just relax and enjoy the show with a couple beers and smokes... I have to get trashed, start doing shots halfway through the show, get a ride home with someone because I can't drive, and then not even remember what I paid to go see. Still, it really bothered me and I've been having a hard time shaking it.
The last few days, I haven't had much appetite, and for some reason I keep sleeping in later than usual and feeling very groggy in the morning. I don't want to do anything other than sit here.
I did force myself to go on a long run this morning, and I just got back, and I feel a little better. After writing this, I feel better, too. Thanks
SR has been so awesome, thank you to everyone who is here!!confound
Last edited by confound; 05-20-2007 at 09:44 AM. Reason: my spelling stinks
Coffee Drinker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
Hi Confound,
God willing I'll be 6 months sober on Tuesday.
I've had ups and downs too. I have been told by professionals that most of us have to greive for our now lost "best friend", alcohol.
Grief is a process and the way you described your deep sense of loss seems to fit.
But hey, 53 days is a major accomplishment! Whatever you are doing must be working!
Best to you,
Ted
God willing I'll be 6 months sober on Tuesday.
I've had ups and downs too. I have been told by professionals that most of us have to greive for our now lost "best friend", alcohol.
Grief is a process and the way you described your deep sense of loss seems to fit.
But hey, 53 days is a major accomplishment! Whatever you are doing must be working!
Best to you,
Ted
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Confound-
First of all, congrats on 53 days. That is an amazing accomplisment.
It's normal to have mixed feelings about quitting drinking. A sense of loss is something I can relate to. You dealt with it well by reminding yourself of what drinking does to you.
For me, when I quit drinking, it was like losing a close friend. I don't mean to be melodramatic about it, but it felt almost like a part of me had died. As Ted mentioned, there is certainly a process of grieving for many of us.
The most important thing for us to remember that we are on a new path to freedom in sobriety. The road may be rough at times, but happiness is possible.
God Bless You,
chip
Ted,
Congrats on 6 months!!!
chip
First of all, congrats on 53 days. That is an amazing accomplisment.
It's normal to have mixed feelings about quitting drinking. A sense of loss is something I can relate to. You dealt with it well by reminding yourself of what drinking does to you.
For me, when I quit drinking, it was like losing a close friend. I don't mean to be melodramatic about it, but it felt almost like a part of me had died. As Ted mentioned, there is certainly a process of grieving for many of us.
The most important thing for us to remember that we are on a new path to freedom in sobriety. The road may be rough at times, but happiness is possible.
God Bless You,
chip
Ted,
Congrats on 6 months!!!
chip
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Can't relate at all. Alcohol was by no means my friend. When I was finally able to stop and stay stopped, all I could say to alcohol was "good riddance, and don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out !"
As far as the grogginess, loss of appetite etc, that's prolly normal. Read up on PAWS, it takes a long time for our bodies to heal. I've got 7 months, and still experience insomnia, fatigue, mild depression etc. Although no where near what it was in severity or frequency.
As far as the grogginess, loss of appetite etc, that's prolly normal. Read up on PAWS, it takes a long time for our bodies to heal. I've got 7 months, and still experience insomnia, fatigue, mild depression etc. Although no where near what it was in severity or frequency.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 24
Thanks You are right, chip and Groucho - it feels like I'm missing a friend, although the friend was a real ***hole. I just have to remember that part.
Congrats on the 6 months, Groucho!!!
Glass, I just started to read up on PAWS and a lot of this is clicking. Thanks!
You are right, chip and Groucho - it feels like I'm missing a friend, although the friend was a real ***hole. I just have to remember that part. Congrats on the 6 months, Groucho!!!
Glass, I just started to read up on PAWS and a lot of this is clicking. Thanks!
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Confound congrats on the sober time, the other shares are good stuff.
I guess I may have been a bit sicker then some! LOL Alcohol was my lover for many years... probably the first 20 years, the next 10 alcohol became that teasing lover, every time I would catch her for that brief moment I would wind up miserable because I had to much of her, the last 10 years she became that abusive lover that I could not escape! LOL
Man when I quit there was a HUGE hole in me, I have filled that hole in me with my family and life with the aid of AA and the steps, it has been a little over 8 months now and looking back on my old lover I am so glad she is gone, life and living life on life's terms sober is the bomb!
I guess I may have been a bit sicker then some! LOL Alcohol was my lover for many years... probably the first 20 years, the next 10 alcohol became that teasing lover, every time I would catch her for that brief moment I would wind up miserable because I had to much of her, the last 10 years she became that abusive lover that I could not escape! LOL
Man when I quit there was a HUGE hole in me, I have filled that hole in me with my family and life with the aid of AA and the steps, it has been a little over 8 months now and looking back on my old lover I am so glad she is gone, life and living life on life's terms sober is the bomb!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I can relate to Taz's post...alcohol was also my lover. I bought into it's lies and false promises and it in the end....just as with my human intimate relationships...I realized I had been deceived and emptied out. My life was much more potentially rich and beautiful than I had been settling for. I gravitate towards poison...not sure why. Congrats on your sober time. Sobriety is not for sissies....the rewards are a result of work and delayed gratification at times....just like life.
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