ghostgirl

hey guys... i could use a little advice or something right now. i'm in the worst mood... i feel like crap and a failure and i really am not liking myself right now. i just want to punch a wall and then go drinking. what the @#%#?? ?????????????????

i feel crazy! i went out during lunch and had a good cry. not feeling better.

its been almost a month since bf broke off with me, tomorrow is his bday and tonite he'll be going out with his friends to a concert and i'm just feeling really sh!#&^ about that. what the #$@!????????????

and i hate it when people see me and say "smile" arrrrgh!!!!

i have said the serenity prayer over and over.... God grant me serenity NOW!!

O.K. thinking of the sienfeld episode...

sorry i'm ranting........ ifeelcrazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DGG

i had a day like that this week as well. I got on my knees and asked my higher power to take it over for me. I went to a meeting, didnt really listen was just sort of there. But it did feel better. One thing I thought of which made it a little easier was that I was grateful that i was feeling those feelings even if they where bad because befroe (when drinking) I would not have felt them. Everytiem i have had a bad day or negitive thoughts going on within when I get through them it is better then it was beofre. Just another corner to turn. ou will and you will be rewarded when it is over.

Peter

I know the feeling ghostgirl but I also happen to know that there are certain periods in my day when I am most vulnerable.A heightened sense of irritability usually comes on in the late afternoon when I am most tired.

My best recourse is to isolate myself away from other people for a while until my mental and physical strength returns.

lanie67

Lord I hate that "Smile, I command thee" thing, it drives me up the wall, but what can you say without being rude, except something like 'well, my (insert family member) just died" or something, and make them feel stupid. Of course you feel bad, it's your boyfriend's birthday tomorrow and it's great that you recognize what you are feeling and why, there really is nothing better than that kind of self-awareness, which I never had until recovery, and some days still don't have. If all else fails I just write out my feelings, swearing and barking and whining on the page until I feel better. It always seems to help shift my burden out of me at least a little. Hope it eases soon.

Rowan

Thanks for sharing the crazies, GG. I'm there too - it's a comfort just to know that we aren't alone - that others feel this stuff too.
Hang in there as you go through this - the loss of a relationship, whether it needed to end, is HUGE. Allow yourself to grieve. You'll come through stronger on the other side. Just don't drink! (I'm saying that last part to myself too!)

Row

ghostgirl

thanks guys... i a little better just writing it. it kind of feels good to feel bad?? i know that sounds silly, but atleast i don't feel the same numb and then total crazy that i did when i drank!

gg

leeside

"i just want to punch a wall" :scratchch

Why on earth would your bf break-up with you? Perhaps your bf doesn't like a gf that punches walls

hope3

It will get better.....................you, are your number 1

concern right now, try to get bf out of your mind.

keeping busy on positive changes helps me allot.

Hugs hope3

ghostgirl

lee... i don't punch walls... or anything/anyone.

CarolD

Hugs GG!

Each time I drank again....I had not paid atttention to
HALT....and so I was "antsy"

So.....don't let yourself become too
Hungry
Angry
Lonely or
Tired

Blessings

Ten Chips Down

LOL


Well, i haven't seen much of Seinfeld so that was funny.

Ahh, the ups and downs of early sobriety. I defer to CarolD - the halt thing is gold during that time.

Also, just remember that being sober after a period of alcoholic drinking puts us in a very unnatural state: We are literally living life on life's terms. A high, buzz, or escape is no longer at our beck and call.

You keep these things in perspective, and you will be appreciating the enormity of the accomplishment of not drinking for the alcoholic.

Gratitude will catch you every time if you start to fall.

Uggh, emotional trauma of breaking up is the pits. Just ride it out like a wave, GG. You will be ok. Smi- Oh, sorry.

Ten

ghostgirl

hey ten and carol... good stuff there... thanks, 'specially that gratitude catching you every time you fall, and halt!! haven't heard "halt" before... i've tended not to eat when i'm depressed.

gg