confound

hey all!

Just wanted to say hi. I've been lurking for about a week, and I am so happy I found this site. I made the decision to get sober and get treatment. After the initial 3-4 days, the physical withdrawal effects subsided, and I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions the last couple days. So far, I've been really up, almost euphoric, and I've been keeping myself busy with all sort of projects I'd been meaning to do but never got around to due to drinking. However, today, day 7, I really crashed. I was cranky all day, and somehow I grew very angry and emotional this evening. I called a very close friend to tell them that I decided to stop drinking and totally broke down, which I haven't done for several years.

Now I'm restless and edgy and don't see myself falling asleep soon. Just wanted to share it. This sucks right now, but I know I'm headed in the right direction. Thanks to everyone who shares their experiences on here - it has really helped me.

I am growing very anxious about being sober in the rest of my life. Honestly, I don't know if I know how to function in social situations without alcohol. I'm not sure how to handle telling people that I don't drink anymore... it's no problem if they are my close friends (of which I have only a few), but I have several acquaintances who know I used to drink (a lot) and I am anticipating a lot of questions when I turn down a drink this weekend. Oh well, I guess this is the kind of stuff I have to get used to! Just wanted to share. Take care all.

confound

RedFox

Good job on the 7 days so far, may not seem like a lot, but it's something to be proud of. Try not to think about being sober the rest of your life. That's completely overwhelming to me. However corny it may sound "one day at a time" really really helps. Just think, today I will not have a drink. Then the next day do the same thing. It's so much easier said than done. I'm only at a month right now, but thinking just a day at a time has really helped me.

As far as not knowing how to function in social situations and tell people that you aren't drinking. To be honest, almost all my friends keep trying to tell me that I don't have a problem and that I can just have one or two drinks. I know that's completely impossible. They don't understand what it's like and I can't expect them to. That's been the hardest thing for me. It sucks, but I've had to completely avoid the old social situations and come up with new things to do with different people that doesn't include drinking. Until I'm strong enough to be around alcohol without caving to it, I have to avoid those situations.

Keep coming back and sharing, it helps to vent and hear things from other people's perspectives.

confound

Thanks for the kind words and advice, Redfox. Grats on a month as well!

I'm particularly nervous about a small gathering of new people that I'm going to on Friday. I thought it would be healthy to get out and meet some new people. I guess I'll just tell them that I don't drink, and if they get on my case or bug me about it, maybe they aren't potential new friends after all. I think I'm less scared about caving in and having a drink than I am to share something personal with people, if that makes sense!

You are right though - one day at a time.

Tazman53

You are so right there confound!!! You will find the longer you stay sober the difference between a friend and a drinking buddy!

Congrats on your 7 days, as Red shared, one day at a time! Every morning I ask for the power to not drink today and the ability to do what my Higher Power wants me to do, at the end of my day I thank my HP for letting me not drink for that day. I kind of soothe myself by telling myself "I can always have a drink tomorrow, no need to have one today."

I have found true friendship and happiness in the rooms of AA, I have found freedom and joy being given out freely by AA members to me and anyone else who wants it. I have found there is no one who understands an alcoholic better then another alcoholic, especially a sober alcoholic.

Tazman53

Confound I was just thinking I should share this with you also, when I was drinking my emotions were all messed up, I really didn't have any! Once I got sober I started to feel emotions again, life was like a roller coaster ride, I was either on a pink cloud or I was down in the dumps or angry which always seemed to make me think about having a drink even though I knew that was the last thing I should do.

In AA by talking to fellow alcoholics I learned that this was normal and how to deal with these issues, I have learned that the longer I am sober the easier it will be for me to deal with my emotions, I will still have bad feelings, but staying sober I can deal with them.

Rowan

Hi confound,

Just wanted to welcome you here, and to say I'm glad you decided to stop drinking. It's encouraging that you came here for support and advice instead of just throwing in the towel.
I go to AA, which was especially helpful in early sobriety when I had questions like you do; what do I tell my friends and how do I manage staying sober when I feel so bad?? And coming here has become absolutely essential to my recovery.
I'm glad you're here, and hope to see more of you around.

Rowan

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, confound! keep posting! blessings, k

CarolD

Hi and Welcome!

I found new friends in AA meetings...and we share
he same lifestyle and goals...

You mention mood changes...here is interesting info

http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

Congratulations on your sober time.


Keep in focus and keep posting!

Hush007

Congrats on your first week! Tell me about that emotional rollercoaster!

When friends ask you why you don't drink anymore, you can tell them whathever you want.

- I don't feel like drinking
- I'm trying to live healthier
- I'm having problems with moderation when I drink
- I'm trying to loose some weight
- ...

Keep it up!

Philip

ps: By the way,... when it comes to drinking,...only focus on today! Don't worry about tomorrow and don't start to drive yourself crazy with questions like "Can I never have a drink again,....ever?" "Easy does it" and "One day at a time" are the keywords here. Start your day with saying to yourself: "Today I will not drink.".

Anna

Hi Confound,

Congratulations on 7 days sober!

You can get through the roller-coaster emotions that you're experiencing now. It does get easier. And, you're wise to be cautious of your plans and to know what to expect.

h4lov909

confound I soooo know what u mean about the rest of your life thing saying I will never drink again is about enough to send me into a panic attack. I just put it out of my mind and worry about today and get busy, tommorow is to much to think about. Another ive used about nt drinking "I took some medication that does not agree with alchohol" I tend not to tell pple I stopped drinking cuz pple who know me ususally come up with some version of YEAH RIGHT!!! keep up the good work!!

wozzek

When someone offers me a drink (it happened yesterday on a party) I tell them, "No, thank you, I don't drink 'cause I am an alcoholic!". It is such a liberating feeling.

NONE ever said anything ugly / disapproving / discouraging to me after such a disclosure. Only if there are (very) drunk and insist to "have only one", blah blah, I tell them I am allergic to alcohol and that I will die if have would have a drink.

And I am the one who know this really is truth. So, I have the power of information also

Nuudawn

I heard a good one at an AA meeting once with respect to reasons a person doesn't drink. This guy said he tells people
he's allergic to alcohol
when he drinks he breaks out in handcuffs.

I thought that was a good lighthearted approach...and a chuckle if nothing else.
As already noted, the emotional rollercoaster is par for the course...and a sure sign your full on into recovery! I was all over the place emotionally for a great while. Around 2 months I was crying at the drop of a hat. Your thawing out confound. It can be extremely exhausting though...hope your getting enough sleep and eating right. Your body is in major repair mode.

Glad you're here.

confound

Wow.... to everyone who responded - thank you so much!!! I don't know how to express this really... just thank you for your words and sharing how you have dealt with it. Today was another big "up" day - I was able to tell another close friend that I stopped drinking and they were so supportive. It made me feel loved, and I almost started crying again. It's amazing how after not even welling up after so many years, suddenly I'm so sensitive - especially to the good things!

One more day!

RedFox

It's so great to have friends like that. I'm glad you have them. Good job on adding another day

Tazman53

Confound you will find out who your real freinds are because they love and support you.

Taking5

I agree with Tazman.

I had one "friend", an ex-drinking buddy to be honest, who was totally unsupportive of me when I decided to sober up. After 2 weeks he called bugging me saying "It's been long enough, lets go down to the bar". I replied that it had not been long enough. He replied by offering to lend me money to drink thinking I was too broke to drink.

Basic repeats of the 2 week conversation at 3 weeks, 4 weeks, and 5 weeks. Finally I quit answering his calls.

I did go see him at the bar recently and I ordered a virgin mary. He looked at me like I was crazy "You're not going to drink?"

I told him I quit drinking and he replied "well f#$k you then".

What a pal.

Actually I have hopes the guy will see me not drinking and what to get into the program. I guess I am still optimistic about some things.