i feel like a useless human being
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Tucson, Az
Posts: 13
i feel like a useless human being
I never once thought i would be so weak that alcohol could make me feel like such a small person. How can i possibly be addicted to alcohol when i only get really drunk every few months? It's a freakin beast, just waiting for me to pick up the bottle but its not really that bad, i mean its only every few months....Yea, right. This is the third time i have tried to quit drinking and so far so good but it is only day 2. Im sure even if i weren't trying to quit i wouldn't be drinking right now. I don't even feel dependent on alcohol, i just don't know when to put the bottle down once i have started drinking. I understand that i have the disease, but what i don't understand is how to prevent it from coming back.....AA isn't for me, i would almost be to embarassed to go and if i did go i probably wouldn't say much...Sorry just venting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
amd,
No one here is going to pronounce you an alcoholic. It's to you to decide. I'm a little leary of the fact that when you start you can't stop. IMHO, that's a danger sign. Especially since you can't remember what you did the morning after. The feelings of remorse, guilt, and fear when you wake up are not typical for the "normal" drinker who ties one on every few months or so.
Again, no judgement here. I just wanted to let you know that if you do want to prevent it from happening again, there's one sure way. Don't pick up the first drink. By not picking up the first one, you'll never get to the 2nd, 4th, 10th, etc. If you find that you are unable to keep yourself from taking that first drink, no matter how long it's been, I believe you have a problem. Why don't you ask your wife if she thinks you have a problem. If you love her and she loves you, her answer will only be of help to you. If she is embarassed, scared, disgusted, by your behavior you probably need to seek help.
That being said, feel free to rant here any time you like.
No one here is going to pronounce you an alcoholic. It's to you to decide. I'm a little leary of the fact that when you start you can't stop. IMHO, that's a danger sign. Especially since you can't remember what you did the morning after. The feelings of remorse, guilt, and fear when you wake up are not typical for the "normal" drinker who ties one on every few months or so.
Again, no judgement here. I just wanted to let you know that if you do want to prevent it from happening again, there's one sure way. Don't pick up the first drink. By not picking up the first one, you'll never get to the 2nd, 4th, 10th, etc. If you find that you are unable to keep yourself from taking that first drink, no matter how long it's been, I believe you have a problem. Why don't you ask your wife if she thinks you have a problem. If you love her and she loves you, her answer will only be of help to you. If she is embarassed, scared, disgusted, by your behavior you probably need to seek help.
That being said, feel free to rant here any time you like.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi again...
You are still in physical de tox
and of course
you feel hopeless and discouraged.
Keeping sober makes me feel good
about my life. Sobriety Rocks!
Take care
You are still in physical de tox
and of course
you feel hopeless and discouraged.
Keeping sober makes me feel good
about my life. Sobriety Rocks!
Take care
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 390
i remember when i was in high school a counselor said i was alcoholic,a weekeend alcoholic,i laughed at that.20 years later.....gradually climbed the ladder and drink about 15 beers EVERY day!!!! seems like every year that went by i upped my dose knowing i drank "different" than everybody else.do what you gotta do.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 106
Hang in there, amd. If your drinking is producing results that you don't like, as mine was, then you are right to do something about it. I have learnt that this weekend and I am so glad.
On Thursday evening, my closest colleague told me that I wasn't addicted to alcohol and that I was just addicted to thinking I was because I only drink once or twice a week.
That made me feel a: that maybe I could go out and get drunk again and b: that I was wrong in thinking I had a problem.
But of course, she was only saying what she thought I wanted to hear to reassure me, in her own way. I was angry at first & felt unsupported, not to mention tempted & confused, but having been hanging out on the boards this weekend, I feel so much more certain & sure now.
I think Golfman's right, the only way to stop it coming back is not to pick up that first drink. I tell myself that all the time I don't taste that first drop, there is hope. The hope will go straightaway once I start. I can still remember that feeling of all the hope ebbing away as I got more & more wasted; that's what keeps me going.
I hope you start to feel a little better soon.
On Thursday evening, my closest colleague told me that I wasn't addicted to alcohol and that I was just addicted to thinking I was because I only drink once or twice a week.
That made me feel a: that maybe I could go out and get drunk again and b: that I was wrong in thinking I had a problem.
But of course, she was only saying what she thought I wanted to hear to reassure me, in her own way. I was angry at first & felt unsupported, not to mention tempted & confused, but having been hanging out on the boards this weekend, I feel so much more certain & sure now.
I think Golfman's right, the only way to stop it coming back is not to pick up that first drink. I tell myself that all the time I don't taste that first drop, there is hope. The hope will go straightaway once I start. I can still remember that feeling of all the hope ebbing away as I got more & more wasted; that's what keeps me going.
I hope you start to feel a little better soon.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
My husband thinks he's worthless sometimes and my heart would stop without him. I am a nurse, a pediatirc nurse and I care for terminally ill and chronically ill children, so it is particularly hard nursing.
He has never understood the strength he gives me that benefits those kids.
You are the world to those who love you, you are the world to those waiting to love you.
Taking good care of those you love is everything, no amount of money can replace a wife lying her head down next to a man who loves her. Nothing is more valuable to a child than your smile, a kind word and time.
You are far better than bad. Think about all the good days that people can only get from you.
It's just alcohol, don't pick it up if you don't know when to set it down. God Bless you. Watch It's a Wonderful Life. You are precious in ways you don't even know.
He has never understood the strength he gives me that benefits those kids.
You are the world to those who love you, you are the world to those waiting to love you.
Taking good care of those you love is everything, no amount of money can replace a wife lying her head down next to a man who loves her. Nothing is more valuable to a child than your smile, a kind word and time.
You are far better than bad. Think about all the good days that people can only get from you.
It's just alcohol, don't pick it up if you don't know when to set it down. God Bless you. Watch It's a Wonderful Life. You are precious in ways you don't even know.
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