SandyW

Hi all:
I want to share this story with those of you who are thinking it's OK to drink and nothing will happen............
My "A' went out and drank again until last night. Since January of this year, he's received a DUI, has a hefty fine to pay, had to do 8 weeks Community Service, 18 mos. Diversion classes and he drank again. He showed up at a Diversion class March 28th after drinking all day long. He was rejected and refused entry, now has to go back to Court for re-sentencing.
Last night I sat him down, calmly telling him he was very sick and needed to consider treatment as an inpatient. I personally don't think that would help, but he needs to do something. I also suggested AA, 90 meetings, 90 days etc......with a strong sponsor. He broke down and asked me would I help him?
I am a nurse trained in alcohol/drug dependency. I've been monitoring him as he de-toxes through the weekend. His family has a history of Dementia. I'm seeing signs of Demenita maybe due from alcoholism or alcoholism due to Dementia? Hard to discern. The bottom line..........alcohol destroys everything it touches.....health, relationships, and most important, lives. He didn't even drink when we met and married 13 years ago. I keep thinking there is a deep seated problem as the definition of alcoholism...."The inability to accept reality or life on live's terms"....I'm so sad and feel so bad for him. I've also been in Alanon for other family members for over 20 years. I've been clean for 22 years. Addiction is a family disease.
To those of you who are young and have so much ahead of you......take heed.
((Hugs to all)) who are still out there suffering,

PhilN

Thanks for that story Sandy. It's very instructive. It sounds like your 'A' finally hit bottom. You handled it as well as anyone could have (and better than most I think). Stories like that remind me how easy I had it....and how bad it could have gotten.

I was 'weekend warrior.' A responsible citizen 5 days a week and a crazed, black out drinker the other two days. I was lucky because I was single, had no wife to leave me, no kids to alienate. I drank at home, so no driving, and no cops. The only person I hurt was me, and since I was a nobody, I hurt nobody.

God brought a wonderful woman into my life who at first tolerated my drinking, then got really pissed after one black out experience where she couldn't wake me and thought I was in a coma. Enuffz enuff. That was it.

I say easy because I only had to really hurt someone I really love once for me to admit I was drunk and couldn't deal with it myself.

I never had to endure the legal consequences your husband has had to go through. You sound like an immensely patient person to deal with this (I can't imagine how disgusting drunks must look from someone else's point of view).

Good luck and God Bless

SandyW

Hi Phil:
Sounds as if you've got a good handle on the problem also. As of today, 4/14/03' he's pretty sick and has made an appointment with our family Internist to seek help. He's done this on his own. I did my Ala-non and didn't try to control everything. He's sick and tired of being sick and tired and fearing for his employment that could be in jeopardy.
I am very supportive when I see someone helping themselves. I guess the first time around I expected too much too soon.
Thanks for your kind words.
((Hugs))