TouchTheMirror

Hi gang. Well, until yesterday I had around 2 months of complete sobriety. A friend I hadn't seen for awhile stopped by yesterday with a 6-pack of beer. I can't really explain what happened, but for whatever reason, I didn't tell him that I'd stopped drinking.
I hate to use the word "only" because it's just an attempt on my part to minimize my defeat, but I "only" had 2 of the 6 beers. I was feeling plenty guilty and that's what stopped me. He polished off the others.
So, it looks like I'm back to Day 1 again, but hopefully a bit wiser to the ways that temptation can creep back into my life at a moment's notice.

Thanks for the help and understanding.

Tim

Nuudawn

Hey Tim,
As it's only "one day at a time" anyway, don't kick yourself on the days been and gone. Applaud yourself for the awareness of what you have and what you can lose...so easily. Just this morning I realized how long I had existed in some odd state of semi-unconsciouness, never wanting to contemplate things that needed addressing...I just wanted to bounce around thoughtless from evening of drink to evening of drink. I didn't want to deal with bills, checking the oil in my car (still can't believe I didn't blow that engine)....stopping for gas was a pain....everyday life was just a myriad of inconvenience. I'm glad those days are gone.

Keep on keepin' on.

tkdan

tim don't feel bad i blew it three months ago and have not quit yet

leviathon

Hey Touch, "only" is actually a good thing... you realized, after the fact of course, that you have a problem and should not be drinking. Give yourself some credit for stopping there. I fell alot harder than that. I drank til the bottle was done (13 oz) b/f I stopped. I am proud of you for stopping.

While it is back to day one, you learned something, build on that.

Peace, Levi

TouchTheMirror

Thanks, folks.

My shame WAS lessened a bit by stopping after 2 beers. I don't know why I even went that far, though. I didn't enjoy the beers at all. When I first heard the "pssshhht!" of the cap being twisted off, I almost cried.
I think my relationship with alcohol has changed forever. Whether or not I slip again, I will never be truly relaxed around booze like I was before. And hey, that's a good thing!

Nuudawn

I've heard it said in AA that once you relapse after being in the program, you will never drink the same again. With SR, like AA, you have admitted your alcoholism to others...you have heard collective voices echo your own defeats and personality traits/defects therefore you accept you are much like so many others...so many alcoholic others. You are no longer in denial. It's hard to enjoy something you have already admitted whipped ya.

mike_mass

Those 2 months you had are still yours. Keep plugging away...one day at a time.

Slowbriety

my "slip" lasted for 2 years. i would take those two beers over my two years. might wanna try changing your playmates and playgrounds for a while, worked for me.

zoomer

Over two and a half years ago I too slipped on two beers after having some time. I took it to heart and threw myself into my program like I was a newbee doing all that a new person would do. I just did not want to slip again! I'm proud to say I do have two and a half years and still going to AA and internet boards to stay sober. Dusting yourself off and being more aware is the best thing in keeping sober and staying sober. Looking back my slip was the best thing because it made me realize how to keep connected to others who can help me stay sober. I don't know if your into AA or not,but I can't say enough good things about it and all it does for me to keep me sober.

I'mready99

Tim...

If anyone of us were perfect, we could walk on water...

Don't look back, only look forward...

You slipped, stumbled alittle, got up and started back down the trail of sobriety...

Don't forget, but don't dwell...

Stay Strong and Positive good friend.

Steve

came2believe

That's what I have heard many times in the rooms of AA. Good for you for recognizing what had happened and getting right back on the horse. You are not the first to stumble and won't be the last. What is the difference is the overall attitude that you WANT recovery, and it sure sounds like you do. Go for it! We're all rooting for you and know you can do it!

Tazman53

Tim please do not dwell on this, learn from it and move on. Everyone I know, knows that I am in AA and off the sauce, thank God I do not have any a-hole friends trying to tell me one won't hurt or some BS like that.

I have heard in the rooms the most miserable person in the world is someone with a belly full of beer and a head full of AA.

My father was an alcoholic and when he quit he said the most important thing he learned when he quit was the difference between a real freind and a drinking buddy, when the crap has hit the fan and there is no booze to be had the only one who will have your back will be your friend!

TouchTheMirror

Thanks so much everyone.

I'm lucky to have people who care - both online and off. Thanks again.

Tim

BrandiK

Congrats on your call to stop. It may be day one, but your many days wiser. Wonderful job making it TODAY!

GettinSober

How did you stop after 2 beers? I could NEVER have done that EVER.

Don't beat yourself up TouchTheMirror. You still own the previous 60+ days sobriety. Two beers doesn't make all those efforts worthless.

GlassPrisoner

Congrats on the stop. At least your not on the downward spiral again, seeking another bottom !

Get up, dust yourself off, re-set your date. Worse things have happened. Worse things could have happened.

hope3

I don't think I would have stopped at two, thats great you could.

Congrats on the 2 months, your body and soul thanks you for them and the fact that you stopped at 2 when you slipped.

Best wishes hope3.

Mark_123

Same here, 2 months. But more that 2 beers. We can do this. I'm gonna keep my head above water. You hang in there!

ay100

The fact that you stopped after 2 beers is what matters. It's conscious mature decision. You will power intervened. Don't fret about it. Hey you also have 2 months of sobriety under your belt.

Everyday is day one for us

Mark_123

I may hurt a little after the fall. But I'm still going to try to climb. The mental hurdles are taller than the physical ones. I've got to dust myself off but I'm not going to quit.