various questions from a new user
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various questions from a new user
Hello All, my name is Leah and I am here after a rather strange sequence of events. Recently I found out that my Mother was an addicted online gambler. Through doing research and trying to help her I stumbled upon several addiction sites, and was infact recomended to this site through a friend of mine whos husband is an alcoholic. Anyhow I made an appointment with an addictions counsellor in my home town on the premis of learning more about my mom's desiese and how to help her with recovery and came out of the meeting questioning my own life.
This meeting left me with several unanswered questions. Am I infact an alcoholic???? I had never considered myself one, although in the last 2 yrs since the break up with the father of my children I have been drinking more than i ever had. Since I am questioning this about my self I have decided to stop drinking and take some addictions and mental health councelling because the one thing that I got out of my meeting with this addictions counsellor (aside from questions about myself LOL) is that addictions of all forms are bandaids for some deeper issues with in ones self.
Since Feb 14, 2003 when my mom confronted me with her addiction I decided to try and curb my drinking. I went 2 weeks with out touching any form of alcohol and did not have a problem doing so. This was b4 seeing the counsellor btw. Then a friend phoned me up and wanted to go out. I figured what the hell, i have gone 2 weeks I dont have a problem, and we went out drinking. I got drunk, went to the bar and danced, but did not really have a "great time" and in the morning did not feel like it had been worth it, that was a week ago and i have not drank again since. I have read some of the posts on this board and can honestly say I do not feel the "urge" to drink. It does not consume me. But yet I question my dependance on alcohol????
Since being single again I have been hanging out with a friend who is an alcohlic although not in treatment, nor does she want to be at this point. I am hoping for myself that I have caught this before it will become a major problem for me, and that through counselling and dealing with other deeper issues I will avoid becoming an alcoholic..... or am I already one????
These are the questions that plague me lately.... any insight or advice would be appreciated.
Thank you, Leah
This meeting left me with several unanswered questions. Am I infact an alcoholic???? I had never considered myself one, although in the last 2 yrs since the break up with the father of my children I have been drinking more than i ever had. Since I am questioning this about my self I have decided to stop drinking and take some addictions and mental health councelling because the one thing that I got out of my meeting with this addictions counsellor (aside from questions about myself LOL) is that addictions of all forms are bandaids for some deeper issues with in ones self.
Since Feb 14, 2003 when my mom confronted me with her addiction I decided to try and curb my drinking. I went 2 weeks with out touching any form of alcohol and did not have a problem doing so. This was b4 seeing the counsellor btw. Then a friend phoned me up and wanted to go out. I figured what the hell, i have gone 2 weeks I dont have a problem, and we went out drinking. I got drunk, went to the bar and danced, but did not really have a "great time" and in the morning did not feel like it had been worth it, that was a week ago and i have not drank again since. I have read some of the posts on this board and can honestly say I do not feel the "urge" to drink. It does not consume me. But yet I question my dependance on alcohol????
Since being single again I have been hanging out with a friend who is an alcohlic although not in treatment, nor does she want to be at this point. I am hoping for myself that I have caught this before it will become a major problem for me, and that through counselling and dealing with other deeper issues I will avoid becoming an alcoholic..... or am I already one????
These are the questions that plague me lately.... any insight or advice would be appreciated.
Thank you, Leah
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
It's not really a matter of how much,or how often you drink.More a matter of what happens when you do.Is your behavior different when you drink?Can you control how much you drink once you start?Ever get drunk when you didn't really mean to?Ever have memory lapses or use poor judgement as a result of drinking?What about hangovers?These are only a few questions that might help you decide if drinking is a problem.Chances are,if you are asking yourself if it's a problem,it probably is.Normal drinkers just never seem to have to ask.
I was a binge drinker.Could go weeks or even months without a drink.But when I drank I usually had too much,and often had blackouts.I did stupid things,and once everyone at work was mad at me and I had no idea why.I still don't.
But I could rationalize my behavior,and thought alcoholics were seedy guys who had three days stubble and wore bad suits.I was wrong.You go to an AA meeting and find out that alcoholics are all kinds of people.Alcoholism doesn't care who you are.Hang around here and see if you can relate to people.Don't compare...just listen with your heart.And remember,there are worse things than being a recovering alcoholic
phoenix
I was a binge drinker.Could go weeks or even months without a drink.But when I drank I usually had too much,and often had blackouts.I did stupid things,and once everyone at work was mad at me and I had no idea why.I still don't.
But I could rationalize my behavior,and thought alcoholics were seedy guys who had three days stubble and wore bad suits.I was wrong.You go to an AA meeting and find out that alcoholics are all kinds of people.Alcoholism doesn't care who you are.Hang around here and see if you can relate to people.Don't compare...just listen with your heart.And remember,there are worse things than being a recovering alcoholic
phoenix
Paused
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 7
Leah, in response to your question only you can answer that for yourself. When I realized beyond any shadow of doubt I too am an addict, my eyes where opened and I found peace because I became a member of a community who's numbers are greater than can be counted.
Leah, my question to you would be what makes you feel as though your an alcoholicDo you drink to feel different or to not feel at all? If you answer yes to the last question than chances are you are an alchololic.
Welcome home your right were you need to be!
Clean & Serene in Portland,
Jennifer
Leah, my question to you would be what makes you feel as though your an alcoholicDo you drink to feel different or to not feel at all? If you answer yes to the last question than chances are you are an alchololic.
Welcome home your right were you need to be!
Clean & Serene in Portland,
Jennifer
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Posts: n/a
thanks for the reply's, i dont really know what to say, maybe I am not yet ready to admit that I am infact an alcoholic, even tho I am ready to receive councelling ???? dont ask me if that makes sence, maybe I am afraid of the lable, i dont know. All I do know is that before this meeting with the addictions councellor I knew that I did not handle my alcohol well, but never considered alcoholism a problem... I drink socially, (well if you count one alcoholic friend socially LOL) but i will admit that over the last year I have built up a tolerance to alcohol so that it now takes me more to get drunk, and that I have done dumb things while drinking that I am embarassed about the next day for sure! Infact some of you may have seen my flashin on my cam on ***** a time or 2 LMAO 
. All I know at this point is that I think I am ready to go where ever this road may lead me, if that means that I will never be able to drink again then I guess that is what it means, some one i know will be the lucky beneficiary of the 6 bottles of home made wine and a bottle of ameretto in my cupboards lol. Sometimes working your mind around all the faucettes of addiction can be so emotionally draining. Thanks for listening, Leah
. All I know at this point is that I think I am ready to go where ever this road may lead me, if that means that I will never be able to drink again then I guess that is what it means, some one i know will be the lucky beneficiary of the 6 bottles of home made wine and a bottle of ameretto in my cupboards lol. Sometimes working your mind around all the faucettes of addiction can be so emotionally draining. Thanks for listening, Leah
member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Posts: 281
Hey Leah I think you came to the right place. I've only been coming here a couple days and I've already received a lot of extremely helpful advice and support.
In my opinion the terms alcoholic and alcoholism have extremely vague and ambiguous definitions. There seems to be different levels of alcoholism, and I want to make clear this is simply my opinion.
For some people like yourself just from what you've written about your drinking habits you seem to be walking a fine line between simply abusing alcohol and actually being dependent on it. For me, my drinking habits and patterns are extreme making the question "am I an alcoholic" much easier to answer although no easier to admit.
Your drinking habits remind me a lot of my brother's. He's one of those weekend drinkers who, when he drinks, he doesn't just have a couple. However he can take it or leave it, and it has never caused him after years of drinking in this way to lose a job, miss class, or not meet his obligations. He has expressed concerns about his drinking and has told me before he should probably cut back, but being a dietitian he may just be obsessing about his health, I don't know.
What I'm getting at is he may show some signs of possibly being an alcoholic, but as jmcuster mentioned ultimately he has to answer that question for himself and you probably will too. For someone like me, if I'm not an alcoholic, I don't see how any one could be. You may just need to assess if alcohol is affecting your life in an adverse way, or do you really enjoy its effects, not the way it makes you feel while your drinking, but the overall effects if any it has on your life. Good luck.
In my opinion the terms alcoholic and alcoholism have extremely vague and ambiguous definitions. There seems to be different levels of alcoholism, and I want to make clear this is simply my opinion.
For some people like yourself just from what you've written about your drinking habits you seem to be walking a fine line between simply abusing alcohol and actually being dependent on it. For me, my drinking habits and patterns are extreme making the question "am I an alcoholic" much easier to answer although no easier to admit.
Your drinking habits remind me a lot of my brother's. He's one of those weekend drinkers who, when he drinks, he doesn't just have a couple. However he can take it or leave it, and it has never caused him after years of drinking in this way to lose a job, miss class, or not meet his obligations. He has expressed concerns about his drinking and has told me before he should probably cut back, but being a dietitian he may just be obsessing about his health, I don't know.
What I'm getting at is he may show some signs of possibly being an alcoholic, but as jmcuster mentioned ultimately he has to answer that question for himself and you probably will too. For someone like me, if I'm not an alcoholic, I don't see how any one could be. You may just need to assess if alcohol is affecting your life in an adverse way, or do you really enjoy its effects, not the way it makes you feel while your drinking, but the overall effects if any it has on your life. Good luck.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Hi Leah,welcome to the forum.
You do not have to call yourself anything if you dont want to,but if you are concerned about your drinking then that should be a reason for you to stop.
Alcoholism is a progressive illness,it gets worse never better and regardless of how long we may have stopped drinking we pick up where we left off when we start drinking again.
There is a lot of good information and wisdom on these forums but Alcoholics Anonymous may be able to help you with some of those troubling questions you have.
All you have to say when you go there is that you think you may have a drinking problem and you would like to know more.
You do not have to stand up and speak if you dont want to and if you decide AA is not for you then you can leave and noone will call on you.
I agree with phoenix that there are certain questions that you can ask yourself to help you decide if you want to call yourself an alcoholic or not.
I have also added the following link
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...&threadid=9964 .
There are some very good questions in there and you should try and answer them as honestly as you can.
Please feel free to check out some of the other forums and post as often as you like.
All the best to you.
Peter
You do not have to call yourself anything if you dont want to,but if you are concerned about your drinking then that should be a reason for you to stop.
Alcoholism is a progressive illness,it gets worse never better and regardless of how long we may have stopped drinking we pick up where we left off when we start drinking again.
There is a lot of good information and wisdom on these forums but Alcoholics Anonymous may be able to help you with some of those troubling questions you have.
All you have to say when you go there is that you think you may have a drinking problem and you would like to know more.
You do not have to stand up and speak if you dont want to and if you decide AA is not for you then you can leave and noone will call on you.
I agree with phoenix that there are certain questions that you can ask yourself to help you decide if you want to call yourself an alcoholic or not.
I have also added the following link
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...&threadid=9964 .
There are some very good questions in there and you should try and answer them as honestly as you can.
Please feel free to check out some of the other forums and post as often as you like.
All the best to you.
Peter
Paused
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 5
Hi Leah,
Hang in there, Use this fourm for support. Take a look at my last post to Opal on this fourm re AA. They are nonjudemental, very helpful, supportive, and informative. Any body can go to most meetings. No presure, just support. There are millions of people in North America with similar (if not identical) experiences and situations. Most of these people want to help. Keep an open mind and keep coming back.
Hang in there, Use this fourm for support. Take a look at my last post to Opal on this fourm re AA. They are nonjudemental, very helpful, supportive, and informative. Any body can go to most meetings. No presure, just support. There are millions of people in North America with similar (if not identical) experiences and situations. Most of these people want to help. Keep an open mind and keep coming back.
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