Humility for Today (Language of the Heart)...the discussion.
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 180
Jeepers, Bill was almost as wordy as myself in his explanation of trekking the way towards humility. Since this is a "sticky" thread I think the reason one would want to trek down that road ought to be posted here as well. Here is the definition which sat in plaque form on Dr. Bob's desk during his sober years:
"Humility is perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all about is seeming trouble." (Dr. Bob and The Good Old Timers pg. 222)
One can certainly not act one's way to that place. One can only opt for being in that place and let the deflation of one's ego that is an inherent part of staying surrendered to the Twelve Steps take one there (See the first sentence of step 5, 12&12).
My take on this subject is that the movement from egoism towards humility is an inevitable one for all humans. A human will be moved very slowly in that direction simply from the ever increasing pain involved in trying not to be moved in that direction. It is when one becomes willing to be moved in that direction ("The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines") that great leaps in movement can finally be made. When one is finally willing to "opt" for being in that place, rather than to continue to stay joined to the hopeless and ultimately meaningless "games people play" in order to maintain and display one's great sense of specialness to themselves and others, then the process of letting oneself be moved in that direction becomes a simple feedback system: I hurt inside, I take full responsibility for ending the pain, I change my way of thinking (always in a humbling direction) in order to end the pain, and I am one modicum of ego smaller after each employing of that process. It has been, for me, the Third Step that has made the changed way of thinking a simple matter. If one meditates upon that step, one will discover that in the taking of that step with deadly seriousness, remaining ever willing to continue to implement the decision one makes there, one loses one's right to be miserable. One loses one's right to entertain mental anguish within one's self no matter what the reason. God loves me and wants me to feel good or else there is no God. If there is no God the only sensible way to live life is to learn how to feel really good as much of the time as I can possibly feel really good. Since there is no feeling good without peace of mind, this learning would then include how to get to the point in my life when I have no problem living within the golden rule, as there can be no peace of mind for one living outside the golden rule.
Wisdom decrees that the only way I am going to have no trouble living within the golden rule is if I am willing to trade in old ideas concerning the worthiness of competition and comparison for an internal desire for the way of cooperation and living and letting live. Egoism, with a nil capacity for loving others, thrives on becoming a winner. Humility, with its infinite capacity for loving others, thrives on the feelings one gets from helping others feel better about being alive.
Thus, whether God is or Isn't, wisdom decrees that developing more and more of that "precious quality" of humility into one's life will lead to a more enjoyable life (see the first page of Step 7, 12&12)
Yet, since going with a Perfectly Loving God "Is" rather than God "Isn't" takes away my right to be miserable, and there is no reward for the ego in my maintaining misery within me if I have no right to be miserable, then wisdom further informed me personally that the wisest course for this alcoholic would be to make a commitment for the rest of this lifetime, right or wrong, to base my reasoning on the actual existence of Integrated Powers of perfect love, understanding, wisdom, and truth backing up this business of living, which would then continuously provide me in a completely logical way with zero degree of permission for me to be miserable. God loves me, doesn't want me to be miserable, and if I am perfectly willing to let my ego fall away (the resistance to which is the reason any mental anguish will be found within me at all), I find the way to feeling serene of spirit, filled with peace of mind and a sense of being at home in the universe as much of the time as I desire to feel that way. And the more I feel that way, the more I want to feel that way, and the easier it becomes to return to step three whenever I am disturbed inside and once again lose my right to be miserable. That has been my way of trekking the road to humility, and while the road is long, perhaps the lifetimes to trek the road are many, and someday on a planet far away, I might find myself at the end of that road and become, as pure humility, finally completely free from the bondage of self, another individual portion of the "growth of God." Blessings - one of
"Humility is perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all about is seeming trouble." (Dr. Bob and The Good Old Timers pg. 222)
One can certainly not act one's way to that place. One can only opt for being in that place and let the deflation of one's ego that is an inherent part of staying surrendered to the Twelve Steps take one there (See the first sentence of step 5, 12&12).
My take on this subject is that the movement from egoism towards humility is an inevitable one for all humans. A human will be moved very slowly in that direction simply from the ever increasing pain involved in trying not to be moved in that direction. It is when one becomes willing to be moved in that direction ("The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines") that great leaps in movement can finally be made. When one is finally willing to "opt" for being in that place, rather than to continue to stay joined to the hopeless and ultimately meaningless "games people play" in order to maintain and display one's great sense of specialness to themselves and others, then the process of letting oneself be moved in that direction becomes a simple feedback system: I hurt inside, I take full responsibility for ending the pain, I change my way of thinking (always in a humbling direction) in order to end the pain, and I am one modicum of ego smaller after each employing of that process. It has been, for me, the Third Step that has made the changed way of thinking a simple matter. If one meditates upon that step, one will discover that in the taking of that step with deadly seriousness, remaining ever willing to continue to implement the decision one makes there, one loses one's right to be miserable. One loses one's right to entertain mental anguish within one's self no matter what the reason. God loves me and wants me to feel good or else there is no God. If there is no God the only sensible way to live life is to learn how to feel really good as much of the time as I can possibly feel really good. Since there is no feeling good without peace of mind, this learning would then include how to get to the point in my life when I have no problem living within the golden rule, as there can be no peace of mind for one living outside the golden rule.
Wisdom decrees that the only way I am going to have no trouble living within the golden rule is if I am willing to trade in old ideas concerning the worthiness of competition and comparison for an internal desire for the way of cooperation and living and letting live. Egoism, with a nil capacity for loving others, thrives on becoming a winner. Humility, with its infinite capacity for loving others, thrives on the feelings one gets from helping others feel better about being alive.
Thus, whether God is or Isn't, wisdom decrees that developing more and more of that "precious quality" of humility into one's life will lead to a more enjoyable life (see the first page of Step 7, 12&12)
Yet, since going with a Perfectly Loving God "Is" rather than God "Isn't" takes away my right to be miserable, and there is no reward for the ego in my maintaining misery within me if I have no right to be miserable, then wisdom further informed me personally that the wisest course for this alcoholic would be to make a commitment for the rest of this lifetime, right or wrong, to base my reasoning on the actual existence of Integrated Powers of perfect love, understanding, wisdom, and truth backing up this business of living, which would then continuously provide me in a completely logical way with zero degree of permission for me to be miserable. God loves me, doesn't want me to be miserable, and if I am perfectly willing to let my ego fall away (the resistance to which is the reason any mental anguish will be found within me at all), I find the way to feeling serene of spirit, filled with peace of mind and a sense of being at home in the universe as much of the time as I desire to feel that way. And the more I feel that way, the more I want to feel that way, and the easier it becomes to return to step three whenever I am disturbed inside and once again lose my right to be miserable. That has been my way of trekking the road to humility, and while the road is long, perhaps the lifetimes to trek the road are many, and someday on a planet far away, I might find myself at the end of that road and become, as pure humility, finally completely free from the bondage of self, another individual portion of the "growth of God." Blessings - one of
Last edited by Doug; 06-18-2005 at 01:49 AM.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Clementon, NJ
Posts: 5
Thank you. I was feeling sorry for myself and crying "poor me" over my birthday and being lonely, but this has helped. I don't have the right to feel miserable. It is ME who created these expectations of how I should feel on my birthday, and it is ME who set myself up for disappointment. If I just let go and look around at all of the blessings in my life, I can see that I truly do not have any right to be miserable. This is hard! But I hope to get better at it as time goes on. Thanks again.
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
We are just human!!
Why do we think that we should be any better than other people? Have a better time? Be more popular? Have fun, fun, fun? I don't know, but I recognise this in myself.
Started crying at my daughter's deb the other night because I was on my own, felt that everyone in my life was a selfish so and so ... I ending up realising that they were not here because of my own doing, should have just asked them to stay with me, I can be such an egotistical idiot sometimes ... But hey, I think it is just being human ...
Interesting world, interesting life, wouldn't miss it for quids, but there are the ups and the downs, I usually make the downs for myself, no one else.
Nice to listen to you all .. how much like me is everyone else .. I feel special to realise how great you are .. being an alcoholic isn't bad, there are much worse things to have to deal with. Everyone is just trying to be happy with life, just the same as me.
Love you all,
Cheers,
Brigid
Started crying at my daughter's deb the other night because I was on my own, felt that everyone in my life was a selfish so and so ... I ending up realising that they were not here because of my own doing, should have just asked them to stay with me, I can be such an egotistical idiot sometimes ... But hey, I think it is just being human ...
Interesting world, interesting life, wouldn't miss it for quids, but there are the ups and the downs, I usually make the downs for myself, no one else.
Nice to listen to you all .. how much like me is everyone else .. I feel special to realise how great you are .. being an alcoholic isn't bad, there are much worse things to have to deal with. Everyone is just trying to be happy with life, just the same as me.
Love you all,
Cheers,
Brigid
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