Birddog

I don't, not at all. AA meetings are the only place I have any desire to talk to anybody that I don't have to.

Maybe I'm a bit disfunctional after all that time in the pickle juice, and maybe I drank to be able to find talking to people tolerable. I just don't know.

Anybody else here avoid socializing?

Time2Surrender

I did when I was new to NA/AA but since then the group has become my family,and I have been blessed with lifelong friends I met in recovery.

Birddog

Thats what I mean, I like the folks in the fellowship, but the idea of just socializing with others, especially if they're drinking is something that gives me no pleasure at all.

Man, I look at a bunch of drunks now at the bar or parties, I cant believe I used to talk that kind of gibberish and think I was being cool, boy do they start to look foolish.

Thank God for this great program of AA, It gave me, back to me.

Good news is, at the age of 45, I'm truly looking for 2005 to be the best year of this alcoholics entire life. When I was drinking, all I ever felt like was the best days for me had already come and gone.

Dan

I meet people at the library, the pool when I take my kids, the supermarket.
And of course my support families in the fellowships. I was never much of a barfly in my drinking days anyway, more of a solitary hobo.
I think I actually socialize more since I sobered up, really.

Music

Getting sober is just like learning to walk. Baby steps first, then off on a dead run. I go anywhere, and do anything I please. I just don't drink any more.

junem

It takes time. I drank to help me feel comfortable enough to socialize. today I have to make the effort and bear the discomfort of reaching out to others in order to learn and grow into a contributing sober member of society. I am told it will get easier with time. I will through practice, eventually feel more at ease in social situations. On valentine's day I will push myself to go to a sober dance as part of that effort to get out of me and more into the lives of others. It takes effort to change.

Cathy31

It is unbelievable what rubbish people talk when drunk. I mean really! This wkend was my first sober outing to a big bash. Oh my gosh! It was actually cringe-making ( I did enjoy the evening, mind, except after 1am when it started getting ridiculous) and worse was that I know for years gone by I would have been the most ridiculous of the lot!!!You know I was placed next to elderly ladies (about 70) (family 60th) and I was so pleased that I wasn't embarrassing them by being drunk and could just chat and be charming and pleasant. I could NEVER have done that drunk - in fact I would not have cared about how their evening turned out anyway! AT ALL!

Back to the question - socialising in general - not a lot gym, AA, movies, going out for tea, getting to bed at reasonable hour, reading, working, eating out - and definitely no pub evenings anymore. For what? I am really enjoying my life sober I have to say.

Good luck!

CAthy31
x

CAPTAINZING2000

I Go To Meetings To Stop From Isolating. Being From A Small Rural Area, I Don't Have As Many Aa Functions To Attend. Thank Goodness, There's Something Going On At Least Once Amonth. Can't Go To A Bar No One In There I Want To Be With Any Way. I've Been Lucky A Lot Of My Old Drinking Buddies Are In The Program

GG733

I love my alone time, especially while gardening. Don't get me wrong I love to hang out with friends, but one of the hardest thing for me to figure out about myself in sobriety is that I'm a bit of a loner...and that it's okay.

Jerry K

Early in my recovery, an annual get together with some long-time friends was on the horizon and of all places it was in Reno at a casino. A group of us had been meeting the first weekend in February for close to 30 years. My wife and I were the chosen organizers and would host a BYOB cocktail party in our roon the day of arrival.

Based upon some real solid advice and knowing that I would have the support and watchful eye of my wife, I sent an email to each one explaining that I was in recovery and asked them for their support and off we went.

Everyone was extremely supportive, did not ask why, and came to our room with their drink in hand but no bottles, etc.

At our annual dinner, those who choose to sit with us did not drink.

Bottom line, I did not stop socializing and found that these individuals were truly my friends.

I bring this up, because this year's trip is also very soon. The only change is that one other person volunteered to be the coordinator of the cocktail party only after asking me if it was OK.

God bless them and I am very thankful that I am surrounded by so many good people.

Jerry

AllThatGlitters

I have to force myself to socialize. People sense this, and tend to not want to talk to me so much. This isn't always true, I've had outgoing moods, but I think those were mostly alcohol-induced. I find that socializing gets easier the more you do it. The longer you go without doing it, the more out of practice you get, and then it becomes difficult. Today I actually talked to people in my classes, something I like NEVER do.

I also have this thing where I'm convinced that people don't like me. I'm not sure whether it's true or not, I can't decide. That really gets in the way of me being social.

But mostly, I just don't care to socialize. I don't mean that to sound snotty, because it doesn't come from a snotty place ... my life experiences make me different from most of the people I associate with, so you know, it's not like we really click ....

nutz

It was hard at first, becuase my life stly or activities
centered around drinking and using. Everything else
got planed around them.

I don't socialize with my old friends as much as I use to,
not becuase I have too. It's becuase after the partying
I relized we had nothing in common or interest.
And when I do talk to them , it kind of makes me a little bit
sick to see how they planed almost all thier activities
arounded drinking and using. I don't see the thrill in it anymore.
Beats the hell out of me if they're alki or have drugs problems.
I'm the one that's in recovery.lol

It is also becuase, the longer I stay clean and sober
I start meeting more friends in or out of recovery where
drugs and alcohol is not an issue or a dicussion.
What do you know....there's people out there that don't drink
or get high. And there's a millions things I can do without being
whack out of my mind. I can actually have a dicussion about
differnt subjects or interest and remember them.

The 4th step helps me a lot. Aside from the crap o la list I had to do.
I also made a list of things I like to do or want to do.
Getting to know that other side of me is a lot harder than
doing my resentment list and what not.

I don't have a problem with what people thinks about me.
I'm a recoverying addict, I went through a living hell period.
However I don't belive people actually would give a second
thought or go to great length to think about me.

If they chooce to ...My rent is free in people's head.
Have a NUT.

I talk to a tree....Well, lets just say, It helps me change my way of
thinking and many, many more lessons. It just seem nutz on the surface.

octoberbabye

Hey everyone,
Put me in the line that socializes with AA/NA buddies, but I have found a few friends from the gym. I do t'ai chi and occassionally go to coffee with one or two. We talk about Eastern vs Western philosophy, natural health and healing, spiritual stuff.
Finding others with the same hobby/interest is the key.
But for the best times, it's a group of recovering folks going some place together- the dog track, movies, local sports, or the coffee house for live music, occasionally a bar to listen to a certain type of music or particular band and of course to the beach and boating (Florida gal, can ya tell?)
I was amazed at first at how active oldtimers were- then realized they had really learned how to apply the principles in their daily lives. In work and play. I tried different social activities to see what I could handle, and over the years have found what's comfortable and enjoyable. Now...if I didn't have to work so many hours.

Don W

Early in my recovery I missed the socializing with people at the bar. Now that I've been sober for awhile I realize that socializing wasn't what I was doing. Almost everything I did or said was to support my drinking. Either then or for some night when the funds were low. I'd talk all night long if the person was buying. I was able to push the guilt aside when they'd be talking trash. Like people's race or beliefs. Now that I have conversations with people outside the program, I understand the difference is that I care about what they are saying. These board are a great example of my new found understanding of socializing. Don W

collinsmi

I socialize with AAs and with normies. Once in a while I'll socialize with friends at a bar or party, but the opportunity doesn't come up much. At a bar, just at the point in the evening when in the old days I'd be shifting out of first gear, it now gets boring and is time to leave. It's sort of interesting watching the behavior of others when they're drinking. At some point, they just seem to quit, or radically slow down! How the heck is that supposed to work?