Patcha

Daily Reflections

A WORD TO DROP: "BLAME"

To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We
could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves.
First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even
though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other
people were concerned, we had to drop the word "blame" from our
speech and thought.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47

When I did my Fourth Step, following the Big Book guidelines, I
noticed that my grudge list was filled with my prejudices and my
blaming others for my not being able to succeed and to live up to my
potential. I also discovered I felt different because I was black. As I
continued to work on the Step, I learned that I always had drunk to rid
myself of those feelings. It was only when I sobered up and worked on
my inventory, that I could no longer blame anyone.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

In that alcoholic world, one drink always leads to another and you
can't stop till you're paralyzed. And the next morning it begins all over
again. You eventually land in a hospital or jail. You lose your job. Your
home is broken up. You're always in a mess. You're on the
merry-go-round and you can't get off. You're in a squirrel cage and
you can't get out. Am I convinced that the alcoholic world is not a
pleasant place for me to live in?

Meditation For The Day

I must learn to accept self-discipline. I must try never to yield one
point that I have already won. I must not let myself go in resentments,
hates, fears, pride, lust, or gossip. Even if the discipline keeps me
separated from some people who are without discipline, nevertheless I
will carry on. I may have different ways and a different standard of
living than some others. I may be actuated by different motives than some
people. But I will try to live the way I believe God wants me to live, no
matter what others say.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be an example to others of a better way of living. I
pray that I may carry on in spite of hindrances.

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As Bill Sees It

"The Spiritual Angle", p. 101

How often do we sit in A.A. meetings and hear the speaker declare,
"But I haven't yet got the spiritual angle." Prior to this statement, he
has described a miracle of transformation which has occurred in
him--not only his release from alcohol, but a complete change in his
whole attitude toward life and the living of it.

It is apparent to everyone else present that he has received a great gift,
and that this gift is all out of proportion to anything that may be
expected from simple A.A. participation. So we in the audience smile
and say to ourselves, "Well, that guy is just reeling with the spiritual
angle--except that he doesn't seem to know it yet!"

Grapevine, July 1962

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Walk in Dry Places

Helping Others____Motives

It may sound selfish, but you should always help others for no reason other than your own benefit. In giving assistance, guard against posing as an idealist or even a Good Samaritan. We are not saints, and our spiritual progress is interrupted the moment we begin to act more saintly than we really are.
Two things happen when we help others in the full knowledge that we are really helping only ourselves. First, we do not place the other person in a demeaning role or make him or her obligated to us. Second, we sidestep the swollen egotism that could arise if we view ourselves as rescuers.
In helping others, we are only passing on the good that has come to us. Any good action will always bring rich rewards in personal well-being. People we have helped will be grateful to us when it becomes clear that we don't demand their gratitude. They will also be inspired to follow this example, which is the true AA spirit that became evident with the first Twelve Step calls.
I'll look for opportunities to help others in the same way that a businessman looks for ways to increase profits. I know that I grow as a person when I help others in the right spirit.

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Keep It Simple

Many of us as children, were taught to hide our pain, to act as if we had none. We look for ways to hide our pain. Alcohol and other drugs helped us do this. But the pain always returned. We were ashamed that we hurt. We thought we were the only one who hurt so badly. and, worst of all, we thought our pain meant we were bad people. Ours is a program of honesty. As we live life, there will be troubles, and there will be pain. But now we know that we don't try to hide it. If we hide our wounds, they will not heal. We will listen to others pain and ask them to listen to ours. This will help us continue our journey in recovery.

Prayer for the Day: God, help me be honest about my pain. Help me see pain not as a personal defect, but as a part of life.
Action for the Day: I'll share my pain with a friend, a family member, my group, or sponsor. I'll ask them to do the same with me. I'll think of pain as part of life.

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Each Day a New Beginning

An element of recovery is learning that we deserve success, the good things that come to us, and also that pain is a reality. We have the strength to deal with that pain without medicating, and it will pass. --Dudley Martineau
Many of us didn't understand the changing variables in being human. Our coping skills were at a minimum until we discovered what alcohol or pills, even food, could do for us. And then, a drink or two--or six, maybe--got us through many a lonely evening.

The desire for an easy solution might still haunt us, but time, new experiences, and program friends have taught us that our past habits weren't really easy solutions. In reality, they increased our problems and led us nowhere.
The Steps and the principles of the program, if applied, guarantee success, living success. We come to believe that strength enough to handle any situation is ours for the asking. And experience with these principles shows us that when we live the way our conscience dictates, the rewards are many.

Every day, especially this one facing us, our choices and decisions will be many. But there is only one solution to any problem, and that's the one our higher power guides us to. The answer, the choice, always lies within, and the good life will accompany our thoughtful, reverent choices.

The power of the program is mine for the taking. All of today's problems can be eased, if I choose so.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 11 - A Vision For You

We know of an A.A. member who was living in a large community. He had lived there but a few weeks when he found that the place probably contained more alcoholics per square mile than any city in the country. This was only a few days ago at this writing. (1939) The authorities were much concerned. He got in touch with a prominent psychiatrist who had undertaken certain responsibilities for the mental health of the community. The doctor proved to be able and exceedingly anxious to adopt any workable method of handling the situation. So he inquired, what did our friend have on the ball?

p. 163

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

EMPTY ON THE INSIDE - She grew up around A.A. and had all the answers--except when it came to her own life.

I would love to tell you that I have been sober ever since, but that is not the case. I didn't want to drink that day, but I took no action to insure against it. You see, I believe that we get more than one "moment of grace" from God--but it is up to us to seize the moment by taking action. But I heeded the voice that said, "You may as well drink. You know you're going to."

pp. 516-517

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

We may often pass through Twelfth Step experiences where we will seem to be temporarily off the beam. These will appear as big setbacks at the time, but will be seen later as stepping-stones to better things. For example, we may set our hearts on getting a particular person sobered up, and after doing all we can for months, we see him relapse. Perhaps this will happen in a succession of cases, and we may be deeply discouraged as to our ability to carry A.A.'s message. Or we may encounter the reverse situation, in which we are highly elated because we seem to have been successful. Here the temptation is to become rather possessive of these newcomers. Perhaps we try to give them advice about their affairs which we aren't really competent to give or ought not give at all. Then we are hurt and confused when the advice is rejected, or when it is accepted and brings still greater confusion. By a great deal of ardent Twelfth Step work we sometimes carry the message to so many alcoholics that they place us in a position of trust. They make us, let us say, the group's chairman. Here again we are presented with the temptation to overmanage things, and sometimes this results in rebuffs and other consequences which are hard to take.
But in the longer run we clearly realize that these are only the pains of growing up, and nothing but good can come from them if we turn more and more to the entire Twelve Steps for the answers.

pp. 110-111

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NA Just For Today

A Closed Mind

"A new idea cannot be grafted onto a closed mind... Open-mindedness leads us to the very insights that have eluded us during our lives."
Basic Text p. 93

We arrived in NA at the lowest point in our lives. We'd just about run out of ideas. What we needed most when we got here were new ideas, new ways of living, shared from the experience of people who'd seen those ideas work. Yet our closed minds prevented us from taking in the very ideas we needed to live.

Denial keeps us from appreciating just how badly we really need new ideas and new direction. By admitting our powerlessness and recognizing how truly unmanageable our lives have become, we allow ourselves to see how much we need what NA has to offer.

Self-dependence and self-will can keep us from admitting even the possibility of the existence of a Power greater than ourselves. However, when we admit the sorry state self-will has gotten us into, we open our eyes and our minds to new possibilities. When others tell us of a Power that has brought sanity to their lives, we begin to believe that such a Power may do the same for us.

A tree stripped of its branches will die unless new branches can be grafted onto its trunk. In the same way, addiction stripped us' of whatever direction we had. To grow or even to survive, we must open our minds and allow new ideas to be grafted onto our lives.

Just for today: I will ask my Higher Power to open my mind to the new ideas of recovery.

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Food For Thought

Deliverance

OA is here to say that compulsive overeaters have been delivered from compulsive overeating! We have found a way of eating that delivers us from fat and, even more important, we have found a way of living that delivers us from fear.

The price is high. We find that in order for the program to work, we need to give ourselves completely to it. We have proven over and over that half measures do not succeed. Unless we keep our will and our lives entirely in the hands of our Higher Power, we will fall back into the trap of compulsive overeating and compulsiveness in other areas.

Every day when we wake up, we give thanks for another day of abstinence, and we put ourselves under God's care and direction. We ask that we be guided in all our activities and that we may follow His will for us in all that we do. Then, whatever happens during the day, we accept it as part of God's plan, and we play our part as He directs us. The outcome and results belong to Him. We are delivered from self-centeredness and freed from compulsion.

We celebrate our deliverance.

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One Day At A Time

~ Meditation ~
When you are with others, be with them wholeheartedly.
But when you are by yourself, be alone with God.
Paramahansa Yogananda

When I pray to the God of my understanding, I am able to share my thoughts, to vent my feelings, to express my gratitude. But it isn't enough for me to speak to God. I also need to listen. That's where meditation comes in.

Sometimes I select a passage from program literature to meditate on. I read the passage, and then sit quietly and allow my Higher Power to help me make connections between what I've read and the life I'm leading.

Other times, I will pick a word or phrase, like "love" or "peace" and repeat it, over and over, in my mind. I allow myself to align with the feeling of that word.

I may picture a serene place, and mentally go there, to rest and regroup from the pressures of the day.

I also will sometimes sit quietly, "in the silence," as the Quakers say. I listen to my breath moving in and out of my body, and I allow my Higher Power to speak to my heart.

No matter which meditation practice I select, the important thing for me is to do it faithfully, every day, and to totally give myself to it. I figure, if God can give to me, then I can give a little of myself back to the One who has blessed me with this program.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will spend some quiet time alone with my Higher Power, and listen to that still, small voice within.
~ Jeff ~

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. - Pg. 97 - Working With Others

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Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

To want a fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort is not bad, it is a perfectly normal state of being for an addict. But each hour we stay clean eventually makes a day. Each day brings us closer to health of body, mind, and spirit. Eventually 'craving' our chemicals will not be normal, but a thing of our diseased past.

Let me know that the state of craving my drug of choice will one day be replaced with feeling my true emotions.

I Thank You God

For most this amazing day, for the leafy, greenly spirits of trees, and everything which is infinite, which is beautiful, which is yes. I who have died am alive again today and this is the sun's birthday.

- Tian Dayton PhD

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Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Sobriety is a grant, not a gift. A gift is something we get to keep forever. A grant is contingent on us doing something to keep it.

I work steps because my recovery is 'contingent on the maintenance of {my} spiritual program.' (P 85, AA Book)

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"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Enforce the 'Respect-me rules'

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Time for Joy - Book - Quote

The more I let go of my own suffering and self-pity, I can see those around me with the eyes of love and compassion. I am becoming more aware of other people's pain and unhappiness today and I will reach out to them in loving ways that heal me while helping them to heal.

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Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I remember that first drink and feeling so surprised and amazed and delighted. And I think of how many alcoholics are dying right now trying somehow, some way to re-create that moment. - Charlie C.

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Warriors Anonymous Practice of the Day (IG: warriorsanonymous - a 12 step fellowship for veterans, active military and first responders with drug/alcohol problems)
BB pg 154-155-
Ch 11-A Vision For You

Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a side table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober for six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was that old, insidious, insanity—that first drink. With a shiver he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.

But what about his responsibilities—his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.

-Tom- Remember there was no AA in this part of the story. Bill searched the churches for drunks, then helped them. The one he found ended up being Dr Bob.

I remember wanting to stay sober so so bad, and then got drunk. So wanting to didn’t work.
I remember Needing to stay sober for an event, deadline, job or special family occasion, but got drunk. So Needing to stay sober didn’t work.
So wanting and needing to stay sober didn’t keep me sober.

What keeps me sober is DOING the things that sober alcoholics in AA do, no matter how I feel. It was a relief to me to know I didn’t have to feel like doing it or wanting to do it, I just had to do it and as a byproduct, I would stay sober.

Today I pray that I have the Courage to Trust in my God, clean my house and help others