Patcha

Daily Reflections

WHEN FAITH IS MISSING

Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or
rejected faith than to those who never had any faith
at all, for they think they have faith and found it
wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way
of no faith.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately
defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final
drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no
coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom
harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I
came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have
survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous.
Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives
were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my
faith was resurrected.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Treating others to drinks gave us a kind of satisfaction.
We liked to say, "Have a drink on me." But we were not
really doing the other people a favor. We were only
helping them to get drunk, especially if they happened to
be an alcoholic. In A.A., we really try to help other
alcoholics. We build them up instead of tearing them
down. Drinking created a sort of fellowship. But it
really was a false fellowship, because it was based
on selfishness. We used our drinking companions for
our own pleasure. In A.A., we have real fellowship,
based on unselfishness and a desire to help each other.
And we make real friends, not fair weather friends. With
sobriety, have I got everything that drinking's got, without
the headaches?

Meditation For The Day

I know that God cannot teach anyone who is trusting in a
crutch. I will throw away the crutch of alcohol and walk
in God's power and spirit. God's power will so
invigorate me that I shall indeed walk on to victory.
There is never any limit to God's power. I will go step
by step, one day at a time. God's will shall be revealed
to me as I go forward.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may have more and more dependence on God.
I pray that I may throw away my alcohol crutch and let
God's power take its place.

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As Bill Sees It

Suffering Transmuted, p. 35

"A.A. is no success story in the ordinary sense of the word. It is a story
of suffering transmuted, under grace, into spiritual progress."

<< << << >> >> >>

For Dr. Bob, the insatiable craving for alcohol was evidently a physical
phenomenon which bedeviled several of his first years in A.A., a time
when only days and nights of carrying the message to other alcoholics
could cause him to forget about drinking. Although his craving was
hard to withstand, it doubtless did account for some part of the intense
incentive that went into forming Akron's Group Number One.

Bob's spiritual release did not come easily; it was to be painfully slow. It
always entailed the hardest kind of work and the sharpest vigilance.

1. Letter, 1959
2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 69

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Walk In Dry Places

The Rewards of Honesty
Honesty

Sometimes we think that honesty is simply too painful and demanding---- all sacrifice with no gain. If we are completely honest with ourselves, however, the results can only be positive.
What are the advantages of being entirely honest about our motives and feelings? One benefit is that we never will have to face the disillusionment and humiliation that come from self-deception. Surely we had enough of that while drinking.
Honesty also speaks for itself. People know intuitively when a person is completely honest, and they are drawn to that person because of it. An honest AA member-one who has truly faced personal faults---- also becomes an example to others.
The honest person has self-respect and a clear conscious. In real honesty, there is no inner struggle to keep up appearances or to pretend we are anybody except ourselves.
Honesty makes us comfortable rather than pained, relaxed rather than anxious, and decisive rather than confused. These are rich rewards for people who once lived in the false world of alcoholism.
I'll try to be honest in all things today. In any case, I will at least be honest with my self about my true motives and feelings.

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Keep It Simple

We do not remember days, we remember moments.----Cesare Pavese

It's the moment that's important. Each moment holds choice. Our spirits grow through working our program moment to moment. Moments lead to days, days to years, and years to a life of honest recovery.
It will be the moments of choice that we remember. The moment we call a friend instead of being alone.
The moment we decide to go for a walk instead of arguing with our partner. The moment we decide to go to an extra meeting instead of drinking or using other drugs. The moments lead us to our Higher Power.
These moments teach us that we're human, that we need others. At these moments, we know others care about us--our joys, and our struggles.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me remember that my recovery is made up of many moments of choice.

Today’s Action: I'll look back over the last twenty-four hours. What moments come to mind? Why were they important to me.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Genius is the talent for seeing things straight. It is seeing things in a straight line without any bend or break or aberration of sight, seeing them as they are, without any warping of vision. --Maude Adams
We are learning, each day of our abstinence, to see more clearly what lies before us. Less and less are we hampered by our own selfish needs, distorting that which we face. We all have within us the talent for seeing things as they really are. But it is a process that takes practice, a process of turning within to the untapped talent which is one of the gifts of a spiritual life.
We are spiritual entities, one and all. And the genius to see as God sees is ours for the asking. This program is paving our way. Each day it becomes easier to live an honest life. Each day we trust more the people we encounter. And each day we take greater risks being our true selves.

The need to distort that which we see ahead lessens, as we begin reaping the benefits of the honest, caring, spirit-filled life. Our unhealthy egos stood in our way in the past. And they can get in the way even now, if we forget to look ahead with the eyes of our inner genius.

My path today is straight, clean, and love-filled, if I choose to follow my genius.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 10 - To Employers

I well remember the shock I received when a prominent doctor in Chicago told me of cases where pressure of the spinal fluid actually ruptured the brain. No wonder an alcoholic is strangely irrational. Who wouldn’t be, with such a fevered brain? Normal drinkers are not so affected, nor can they understand the aberrations of the alcoholic.

p. 140

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude.

Along the way I learned, in spite of myself, that the best thing about A.A. service jobs is that, for a period of time, I got out of myself. At some point I began to shut my mouth and actually listen to what other people were saying at meetings. After white-knuckling it for almost two years in A.A., I finally broke down and saw that I could not stay sober all by myself, but I was terrified of going back to drinking. After all my suicide attempts I had no fear of dying, but I could not stand the idea that I would go back to living that way again. I was at what the oldtimers and our literature refer to as a "jumping-off point." I didn't know what to do.

p. 491

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."

Though in some cases we cannot make restitution at all, and in some cases action ought to be deferred, we should nevertheless make an accurate and really exhaustive survey of our past life as it has affected other people. In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has. Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness. At the time of these occurrences, they may actually have given our emotions violent twists which have since discolored our personalities and altered our lives for the worse.

pp. 79-80

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

AFTER ALL, OUR PROBLEMS WERE OF OUR OWN MAKING. BOTTLES WERE ONLY A SYMBOL. BESIDES, WE HAVE STOPPED FIGHTING ANYBODY OR ANYTHING. WE HAVE TO! - Pg. 103 - Working With Others

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Warriors Anonymous Practice of the Day-
BB pg 73-
Ch 6- Into Action:

More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.

The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees. Coming to his senses, he is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him. As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension-that makes for more drinking.

-Tom- before AA, at times when I was not drinking, I was a fairly decent person. Little rough around the edges but not too bad. I presented an image, to the outside world, I thought was pretty good and generally who I wanted to be. I did a lot of good things. Inside my mind though, it sounded like this “they really wouldn’t love you if they knew you, you really are a piece of **** and don’t deserve anything good, you know this is just a show, you know you are going to screw this all up again, you know this isn’t true.......etc.

Then when I drank...the inside became the outside and all Hell would break loose.

Those 2 paragraphs describe my living Hell that is defined as: untreated Alcoholism.

Thank God we have a treatment for untreated alcoholism. It is called The Program and The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I pray that today I have the Courage to follow the treatment Programming of the 12 Steps and utilize The Power of The Fellowship, in my life.