But of a strange chair at meeting today
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,903
I was one of those alcoholics that had to trust God,clean house and help others to stay sober.
I just don`t think it right to judge that guy based on what someone else said,since I wasn`t there.At least 2 sides to every story
I just don`t think it right to judge that guy based on what someone else said,since I wasn`t there.At least 2 sides to every story
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,615
You guys are both absolutely right but the reality is we are judging and being judged all the time. And, once recovered, all that becomes irrelavent... "what other people think of me is none of my business as the saying goes which probably originated in some non judgemental incubator.
The judgement that counts here is not yours or mine, it is that of the newcomer. Is he gonna find the speaker credible, the message attractive? He might if it looks an easier path, which it does.
A story I read recently. A newcomer to AA had become quite fearful. She had learned that she had a terminal illness, had a seriously good first step experience and realised she would die if she didn't get her spiritual awakening through working the steps. So far this was text book AA, she had the medical facts, the prognosis, and story after story of how it all turns out.
The story reminded me of a Dr Phil show I once saw. It was an intervention on an ex model drug addict, Scary as hell really, she was like a trapped animal, dashing this way and that looking for some escape. It was compelling viewing.
Something similar was going on with the subject of my story. She wasn't only frightened of the problem, she found the solution looked just as scary and she was fighting like crazy, looking for an easier way. Then along comes the wise old gent, been around AA for years. He tells her she doesn't have to worry about any of that stuff, that she an quite easily get sober by sticking with the meetings and simply choosing not to drink. She said she thought she had lost the power of choice and the wise old sage reassured her that we all have a choice.
Phew, she thought, what a releif. The fear left her, as did the motivation that was driving her to find a solution. If you've ever read "The Worry Trap" you will see the paralell. She was on the bus to recovery and as she got closer so the passenger named fear began yelling louder and louder until. she got off the bus.
What happened. Some time later she drank again, and gave up on AA as a bad joke. Then came drugs, then the booze went then the drugs went, and then came food. Years later, she is still beset by problems on every side. Yet she still thinks fondly of that lovely old timer who relieved her fear. Trouble was he relieved her of recovery at the same time.
We all respond to posts and, in my case, part of that response is for the benefit of the OP. But mostly it is for the benefit of the newcomer who may be one of the many others that read these posts. I am hopeful that we can, possibly in the same way I was 12 stepped, at least give the newcomer some reasonable idea of what they should be looking for and looking out for when they venture into an AA meeting. Afterall, aside from judging who they should be listening to, one of the first judgements they will have to make will be about finding a suitable sponsor.
The judgement that counts here is not yours or mine, it is that of the newcomer. Is he gonna find the speaker credible, the message attractive? He might if it looks an easier path, which it does.
A story I read recently. A newcomer to AA had become quite fearful. She had learned that she had a terminal illness, had a seriously good first step experience and realised she would die if she didn't get her spiritual awakening through working the steps. So far this was text book AA, she had the medical facts, the prognosis, and story after story of how it all turns out.
The story reminded me of a Dr Phil show I once saw. It was an intervention on an ex model drug addict, Scary as hell really, she was like a trapped animal, dashing this way and that looking for some escape. It was compelling viewing.
Something similar was going on with the subject of my story. She wasn't only frightened of the problem, she found the solution looked just as scary and she was fighting like crazy, looking for an easier way. Then along comes the wise old gent, been around AA for years. He tells her she doesn't have to worry about any of that stuff, that she an quite easily get sober by sticking with the meetings and simply choosing not to drink. She said she thought she had lost the power of choice and the wise old sage reassured her that we all have a choice.
Phew, she thought, what a releif. The fear left her, as did the motivation that was driving her to find a solution. If you've ever read "The Worry Trap" you will see the paralell. She was on the bus to recovery and as she got closer so the passenger named fear began yelling louder and louder until. she got off the bus.
What happened. Some time later she drank again, and gave up on AA as a bad joke. Then came drugs, then the booze went then the drugs went, and then came food. Years later, she is still beset by problems on every side. Yet she still thinks fondly of that lovely old timer who relieved her fear. Trouble was he relieved her of recovery at the same time.
We all respond to posts and, in my case, part of that response is for the benefit of the OP. But mostly it is for the benefit of the newcomer who may be one of the many others that read these posts. I am hopeful that we can, possibly in the same way I was 12 stepped, at least give the newcomer some reasonable idea of what they should be looking for and looking out for when they venture into an AA meeting. Afterall, aside from judging who they should be listening to, one of the first judgements they will have to make will be about finding a suitable sponsor.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
