dsmaxis10

ya I went back ti step one i was not in a good mood but AA SR workiing

dsmaxis10

I wasn't craving I was scared because i know i drink could kill me

skg

Step One, the whole powerlessness and unmanageability thing, and the principle of Honesty, are the foundation and I go back to it as often as necessary. I have to build EVERY DAY on that premise (and promise) because I have been given a reprieve from this horrible disease. Daily bread stuff. And some days it is one hour, one minute, one moment at a time as I Trust that He WILL go before me (Deut. 32.8). He is in the NOW.

Do I have other stuff going on? Yes, but they can only be addressed if I don't drink.

Also, remember that it's not this forum nor the people in it that are keeping you sober. I say that to remind you that even if the Internet crashes, building a network of AA around you and HP above you can and will keep you sober. Keep doing what's working and lean into AA. There's a bolt for every nut--ask me how I know...

Ken33xx

Which is always the bottom line for me. We can go round and round about the does and don't of the AA program. But at the end of the day if you are sober you are in a much better position to deal with life on life's terms.

dsmaxis10

Ya I was upset my nephew just had a kid he's 19 and don't work so I got mad and dumped his beer out but at first glance I was I'm in no shape to be around alcohol but God did for me what I could not do for myself !!! I went to my saturday night liquor store because I have a crush on the owners daughter and the cigs are the cheapest, It's amazing how you go from step one to step ten promises we don't avoid temptation. I'm all over the map . I mean this morning I was insane but I had to let my vendetta go I wouldn't have what I have now if it wasn't for everything that happened to me my past can benefit others in the future. Psychosis and mania all at once plus getting sober God gave me grace I didn;t deserve. Man I'm stable now for 7 hours had a service position tonight he like do you want to chair next month I said no no one wants to do the grunt work i'll do it for a long time, One of my favorite guys spoke tonight it's an open talk meeting he did a great job!!! well I'm off to another meeting Saturday Night and still alive someone was at there first AA meeting I bought him a big book I know I balded my eyes out when I first read it. Its what I'm learning after I knew everything thats helping me!!!

skg

Keep doing what's working. Things will get better, then they'll get different and you'll have to ask others what they did in circumstances like yours, then they'll get better and different again. But you don't have to drink over anything anymore--even the craziness in thought. As long as the thoughts aren't acted out, and we share them (a problem shared is a problem cut in half), they will lose their power over us. Sometimes quickly. Sometimes slowly.

If you are into books at all, try reading, "Same Kind of Different as Me," by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.

A forest is full of various kinds of trees, each of them very different from the next and unique to each of its own kind. Like snowflakes, fingerprints, and DNA, every single one is different. Some have weathered great storms, others have twisted from a wind or a disease; They may have the finest grain or be filled with flaws, but they are all united in serving a purpose. They turn poisonous carbon dioxide into breathable oxygen that sustains life. It's what they are designed to do.

What kind of a tree do you imagine yourself as being? What are you designed to do? If you're alcoholic, you probably have some very unique characteristics that can help another still suffering one recover. "No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others."

Keep doing what you are doing. There is a reason...

dsmaxis10

I was posting on SR yesterday and realized I had and unfinished amend to Harper Woods Police Department the finest in all the USA so I flew out of my hose and made the amends!!! Man I got so high of it it released dopamine like porn and poker when you first started watching and playing it was better then any buzz of alcohol my slate is clean 10/11 . No one would sponsor me I rarely talk to anybody on the phone . I beat up my Teacher Randy split his nose open and his false teeth fell out itonly took 20 seconds hes 6'3 265 I will not tolerate stigma !!!I got the tenth step promises only took 12 years of AA , Actually having a barn burner Spiritual Experience 08/04/2009 hurt me I lost the obsession to drink but not the Spiritual Malady now I have a complete Psychic change man I love AA I got good credit now decent 700/697 nothing changed still paranoid schizophrenic bipolar chronic depression anxioety and fibromyalgia still on disability still live with my parents because the shizophrenia been so bad the last 11 years since God opened my Third Eye !!! And there's nothing I'd change about my life usin paranoid madness as an asset paranoid if I drink I'll die I'm not hiding from liquor stores even thoough I try not to support them if I need a pack of cigs which I should go back to vaping shizo proven fact nicotine calms em down!!!I have a a family that I'm close to every one in it because AA taught me how to express love I was macho man to good top tell another man I love him to good help anybody in my family 12 years ago was it AA first it was GOD then an Anarchy of God's humble servants I have a great life I love my disabilitys thy keep me humble and very close to GOD !!!

dsmaxis10

For 12 years I'd never relax and take it easy day 25 after day thirty going to meetings in psychwards to help the schizophrenic bipolar chronic depession anxiety because they can relate to me.