michaelg

It's funny how It works. Every time I lean towards giving up on one of the personal gifts I've received through sobriety, I'm nudged with encouragement. The other day as I went out for my morning run, after having been down for almost a month, I felt like I would never get back to where I was. I thought I might just give it up and do something else. And on that very same run, I had what was nearly a personal best time. I picked my guitar not long ago and just didn't feel the passion I had a mere month before. Again, I thought "was this just a phase which is now over?" But as I strummed, rather lazily, lyrics and chords for a new song just popped into my consciousness. Then yesterday, with my work life getting evermore demanding, I didn't feel like writing my daily txt message. Which I subsequently repost to a recovery web-forum. I was seriously thinking that the next day, today, I would just txt my friends and say "I'm done. Dried up." Then, someone on that web-forum commented on how much they appreciated my posting there daily. And then another person.

All of these activities bring the richness to my life that make is so enjoyable today. Quitting is not an option. But my diseased mind tries to convince me otherwise.

What this reminds me is that when I'm thinking about giving up on something I know in my heart to be good, like the work of the 12 steps, the fellowship which deliver them to me, the Higher Power which delivered it to them, and the blessed sobriety and serenity which comes as the result, I need to just hold on. Because there will be dry spells of enthusiasm. But there will also be encouragement just around the corner from them.

Sometimes, you have to just chop wood and carry water.

itstiime

you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and you know in your heart how you want to feel. Stay strong brother.