michaelg

When I first walked through the doors I was there for my son more than anything else. I just couldn't leave this untreated disease as an unbroken legacy to him. I also worried what his life would look like without me in it. Which, at the time, might have been better truth be told. But he was my purpose for walking through the door.

After staying a while, it was pointed out to me that I needed to be doing this for myself. It's been several years now and I experienced clearly the reasoning why yesterday. My son was driving me up the wall. To the point where I chuckled to myself "I would be drinking at him later were I still in my cups". Then it hit me, that is precisely why I can't do this thing for anyone else. They will eventually all fail me according to my sick mind. Make me mad, leave me, pass away, or take any other number of potentially derailing actions against me. Then I'm off to the races. Worse still, I might intentionally look for those supposed failures as an excuse to go back out.

Today, my son, his brother, their mother, and grandmother are all my inspirations for sobriety. But I'm my purpose.

Fly N Buy

Yes, drink At them......

In my first few weeks, sponsor suggested I put a sign up on my mirror - It's not them, It's ME!

I never did as he suggested, as frankly - I had given up looking in the mirror/shave in the shower.......

Today, I smile at my reflection - hmmmm, not bad for an aging fart....
Another good post friend!

michaelg

It sure is nice to look what you see staring back at you isn't it?