MIRecovery

My 20 something daughter has stage 4 terminal cancer. What is amazing is that my sobriety is very solid. Although the last months have been horrible beyond description I have grown stronger not weaker.

A few of the things I have learned include:

The time to have a network of sober friends is before you need them. My friends in AA have circled the Wagons and the out pouring of love, support, and prayers has gotten me through more than one tough day.

I learned that I'm alive and that my sobriety has to be my number one priority. Without it I am no use to anyone.

It is OK to be happy sometimes. Being a basket case depressed martyr serves no one.

Living a day at a time is critical. Tomorrow has not come so all any of us have is today

You have turn to God for help and have to turn the outcome over to him.

paul99

I am so sorry to hear this terrible news . What is inspiring and wonderful is how you are handling this...your outlook, your acceptance, your allowing others to support you, and your ability to still practice gratitude. This is the gift of recovery - not just not drinking. Living life in the face of harsh realities and heartbreak.

My prayers out to you and your daughter. And thank you for sharing this. Very powerful stuff.

Blessings,
Paul

jdooner

I am so sorry to hear. My heart goes out and I am sad.

This reminds me of a share at a Men's meeting. There was a guy that shared where his life had gone divorce etc and then shared how his daughter spoke at his 15yr last summer. His daughter took her life last Fall. She was 17 years old. It was heart wrenching to listen too and still fresh. My point and what hit home was being sober gave him the tools to help others through this traumatic time. He would have regretted being drunk through this awful situation.

I cannot imagine being in your shoes and won't try. But you do have time to spend with your daughter. Make every moment count.

I am now tearing - hugs to you and keep posting - we are here for you in any way possible.

Thank you for such a truly inspirational post!

MIRecovery

The advice I would give to all is life is temporary. The time We have is limited and none of us know when today will be our or a loved ones last

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear this news too MIR.

Prayers for you and your family and everyone who knows and loves your daughter.

D

RobbyRobot

So sorry for this sad news, MIR. You're an inspiration of real love. Prayers for your daughter, your family, and you. Life is so precious. I'm sure your such a strength for your daughter. How loving and beautiful for her you are there all sober for her, your family, and lastly yourself. Such a generous an giving love you have for others, MIR.

Grungehead

I'm sorry to hear the news MIR. It's good to see you again though and I wanted to let you know that we are here for you anytime you need us.

suki44883

I really have no words. Yes, I know that's odd, but I really don't know what to say. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. I just can't imagine it. I am so, so sorry. We should never have to bury our children. It just isn't right.

least

I am sorry for what you and your daughter must be going thru. I pray for peace of mind for you and your family.

MIRecovery

There are no words but when someone says a kind word you know they care. Just knowing people are there makes a huge differance. This whole nightmare can be very Isolating because people feel they have to say the right thing when anything is fine. The only thing that is not fine is some 3rd generation cancer story about some minor form of cancer that someone survived.

yeahgr8

I hope things go as well as they can for your daughter and for you. I can't imagine how you feel or what you are going through!

I do love your posts on this thread as there are some real pearls of wisdom for anyone who might be facing this or similar with a loved one.

I hope you continue to stay out of isolation and keep reaching out no matter how you feel.

mary5alive

I can't even imagine what you are going through. I seriously am tearing up at the thought of that. You are such a strong person, and truly an inspiration. Your daughter must be so proud of you and all of your accomplishments, as well as everyone around you. Keep on doing what you are doing and take pride in what you do.

DoubleBarrel

Your strength, sober attitude and poise in this time has me gob smacked with awe.
I cannot tell you how much this post hit me.
Your example is a real inspiration.
I'm terribly sorry you are going through this.

I'm not a religious man, but tonight I will say a prayer for you and yours.

KateL

I am so sad for you but also in awe of your courage and strength xxxxx

heath480

Prayers and hugs to you.Sometimes prayer is all that is left to do.

My experience is that we can get through anything sober.

There is nothing as wonderful as the support of others in AA,they love and care for us in a way I have never seen before in my life.We are truly blessed.

MIRecovery

Yes we truly are blessed. AA is just one of the many that God has blessed me with in sobriety. To be 100% there from my daughter is another. Just being alive certainly ranks up near the top. As I said in the OP I am alive and am so great full for what I have. My daughter is alive today which is a blessing beyond words.

regeneration

My thoughts are with you, your daughter and your family. And I am glad the wagons are circling for you, sounds like you gave out a lot of love to get that support x

Hevyn

I want to send you some love too MI.

I admire the appreciation you have for your sobriety, even as you endure this heartbreaking situation. I'm glad you wanted to share your feelings here. I hope it helps to know that many are sharing your pain. You and your daughter will be in my prayers.

Anna

I am so very sorry for your daughter's illness. I am sending lots of prayers and hugs to you and your family.

adee

Your courage and grace are an example I will not soon forget. Thank you for sharing this inspiration. I'm so sorry feels inadequate, but I am truly sorry and my heart goes out to you and your daughter and everyone who loves her.