Learning from mistakes?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 285
Learning from mistakes?
I'm not really sure how to word this but it's driving me crazy so I need to ask it somewhere. I am having a problem with repeating the same mistakes over and over. Afterwards I can look back and know what I should've done differently, but when the opportunity comes again I do the exact same thing. For example, I work Saturday so Friday is my weekend day. In theory this is a great set-up because I have a full day to accomplish stuff that needs to be done during business hours. But I have a really hard time being motivated and disciplined on a day that's not structured by school or work. I hit snooze a few too many times, convince myself it won't be a big deal to watch a bit of tv, etc. Soon enough, my day is practically over, I've accomplished nothing, and I'm frustrated. I feel like I'm constantly stressed out and behind in everything, though I'd have plenty of time to do it all if I'd used my time wisely. But the following Friday I do the exact same thing again, and then spend the rest of the week struggling to catch up.
This isn't the only example, I see it come up a lot that I'm dealing with the same issues/mistakes over and over and over again. I feel like I'm not learning anything even though I'm trying to. I don't want to be the one that's trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. It's more like selective amnesia or something...I temporarily forget that I already tried it and it sucked...lol Any thoughts? Ideas? Thanks!
This isn't the only example, I see it come up a lot that I'm dealing with the same issues/mistakes over and over and over again. I feel like I'm not learning anything even though I'm trying to. I don't want to be the one that's trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. It's more like selective amnesia or something...I temporarily forget that I already tried it and it sucked...lol Any thoughts? Ideas? Thanks!
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Huntington Woods, Michigan
Posts: 465
Originally Posted by Riverbird 
I'm not really sure how to word this but it's driving me crazy so I need to ask it somewhere. I am having a problem with repeating the same mistakes over and over. Afterwards I can look back and know what I should've done differently, but when the opportunity comes again I do the exact same thing. For example, I work Saturday so Friday is my weekend day. In theory this is a great set-up because I have a full day to accomplish stuff that needs to be done during business hours. But I have a really hard time being motivated and disciplined on a day that's not structured by school or work. I hit snooze a few too many times, convince myself it won't be a big deal to watch a bit of tv, etc. Soon enough, my day is practically over, I've accomplished nothing, and I'm frustrated. I feel like I'm constantly stressed out and behind in everything, though I'd have plenty of time to do it all if I'd used my time wisely. But the following Friday I do the exact same thing again, and then spend the rest of the week struggling to catch up. This isn't the only example, I see it come up a lot that I'm dealing with the same issues/mistakes over and over and over again. I feel like I'm not learning anything even though I'm trying to. I don't want to be the one that's trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. It's more like selective amnesia or something...I temporarily forget that I already tried it and it sucked...lol Any thoughts? Ideas? Thanks!
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
It kind of sounds like it would fall into the unmanageability part of the first step. Or maybe you're just over tired and overwhelmed. If you're in early recovery, you might need the extra sleep and down time. It takes time for the mind and body to recover. We can't lay off the booze for a few days or weeks and expect years of damage to be undone. That was the case for me, anyway.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,986
Get past 5, 6 7......
Meanwhile, make a list of things to do--maybe 4 things. Then DO them that day.
or
Write things you want to accomplish on pieces of paper and put them in a container. Pick one and DO it. Maybe pick another......
We are undisciplined and creating a routine and discipline is necessary for me. I try to wake up the same time 7 days a week.....continue from there.
You can do this!
Meanwhile, make a list of things to do--maybe 4 things. Then DO them that day.
or
Write things you want to accomplish on pieces of paper and put them in a container. Pick one and DO it. Maybe pick another......
We are undisciplined and creating a routine and discipline is necessary for me. I try to wake up the same time 7 days a week.....continue from there.
You can do this!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 285
Thanks everyone. I guess I'm just wondering if overall there's a way to help learn from mistakes so I don't make them again. The procrastinating is just one example of a mistake I make repeatedly. Another example is that I avoid doing things out of fear, even when they're good things. Then I look back and am upset with myself for not doing it....and when I do do it I feel better. So over and over I make the mistake of avoiding these things out of fear, and then I regret it afterwards. I know there's various ways of dealing with these individual issues, but right now it's just the general frustration of these little end of the day regrets. I feel like they're the same ones over and over again. I'm tired of the regrets but I can't seem to make a change. I've recognized the mistakes, written about them, tried to come up with new plans, etc. So just not sure if I'm missing something or should be handling these little regrets/mistakes differently.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
I think acknowledging them is good River...not blaming them on others, justifying them or being too scared to look
I make plenty of mistakes today, far from perfect. 12 step programme is one thing that helps me look at that, let go of it and move on.
The mistakes that really bothered me were the ones I kept making, like a repetition-compulsion, first and foremost I kept taking that drink. So first and foremost I stopped taking that drink, no matter what.
Keep looking, maybe a bit of clarity lies just around the hill
P
I make plenty of mistakes today, far from perfect. 12 step programme is one thing that helps me look at that, let go of it and move on.
The mistakes that really bothered me were the ones I kept making, like a repetition-compulsion, first and foremost I kept taking that drink. So first and foremost I stopped taking that drink, no matter what.
Keep looking, maybe a bit of clarity lies just around the hill
P
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